Tag: #healthyrelationships

To Be Missed

My daughter’s boyfriend is from Missouri. They spent 7 days together over Christmas break. She drove him to the airport yesterday, and returned home with a tear stained face.

They have maintained this long distance relationship for 15 months. He is 19, and she is 17, but they are mature for their ages. I’m encouraging her to write about how they do this.

 

When she came home yesterday evening, I just gave her some space. She cried some more, and I took her tissues. I wanted her to cry and much as she needed, and to feel what was going on. Missing someone is a painful experience, but I would rather have someone to miss than to not. I told her, “It’s good that you miss him. I would be worried if you didn’t.”

Thanks to the almighty airline miles, they get to see one another often. Maybe not as much as they would like, but I believe they are blessed. Once every two, or three months, they reconnect face to face. Their love for one another comes easily, and is refreshing to watch.

I believe that is the way it should be. Love should come easily.

I know people that will have a hard time receiving love because of their idea of how they should be loved. What if you let go of those ideas, and just allowed yourself to be loved? I believe you would be pleasantly surprised how simple it is. This doesn’t mean downsizing your values, but you may need to let go of some expectations on what love should look like.

Ephesians 4:2 says, “Be completely humble, and gentle; be patient, bearing with one another in love.” I have found this to be true. Humble, gentle, patient and bearing.

My daughter will see her guy again soon. In the meantime, they will live their lives to the best of their ability, but keep a space in their hearts for one another. It’s good to be missed.

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When You’re Ready

One of my Favorite Letting Go Lessons is Letting Go of Unhealthy Relationships. It’s trying enough letting go of these people, but what do we do when they come back? It’s simple, but not always easy. Here are some simple steps.

1. Pick a questionable relationship in your life. One that does not align with your definition of health and well being.
2. Close your eyes, breathe and be calm.
3. Feel the presence of this person you have identified as questionable. Notice how your body responds to their presence. Take the time to get clear upon the effect they have upon you.
4. Then, answer the following questions:

a. Does this relationship make you feel balanced?
b. In what way does this relationship physically, mentally, emotionally and spiritually benefit you?
c. What is the physical, mental, emotional and spiritual cost of this relationship? (I keep a journal beside me to write my answers in)

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Lastly, if there are relationships, which you know to be extremely unhealthy for you, openly listen to your Higher Power. Ask for clarity, strength and courage. If the truth is, it’s time to avoid further harm to your spiritual, emotional, mental and physical well being, then rest with that feeling until you are ready to act.

I have witnessed people openly tell the person, “I’m letting you go”. and I’ve seen them detach allowing the person to disappear. You do what’s best for you and your well-being. By you becoming a stronger, more loving person, they will most likely show up again, no matter how you let go. Verbally or quietly.

Maybe by then, you both have changed enough that it can be healthy. I leave you with two of my favorite quotes by Joyce Meyer.

“Don’t be upset about losing something. It might be putting you in the place you should have been in to begin with.” and “Sometimes God will take something away to straighten you out. He’ll give it back when you’re ready”.