Peonies in December

This particular grocery store has a row of fresh cut flowers on display as soon as you enter. I pause, look and smile. Strolling by the row of buckets, each containing fresh cut bouquets, I stood still and gazed at the last bucket.

There stood our favorite flower.

The Peony.

time

This flower is prevalent in summer.

Sitting at the coffee table this morning gazing at the Christmas tree, through a vase full of Peonies. It’s fabulous as cold as it’s been to have a moment like this in December. Unrush my darling. Moments are waiting for attention.

peony

Peonies in December.

In Barbs World

I didn’t have any plans of becoming a Letting Go Coach. It was offered to me after going through the Letting Go lessons personally.

If it’s in front of me, I’m gonna walk through it.

I told myself, “There are enough coaches in the world”, and there are some really good ones. People who have a passion for it. I was grateful for receiving the certification, but it wasn’t a passion.

All I wanted to do at the time was write.

In the midst of creating this site, I was instructed by WordPress to choose a name. I had just completed my Letting Go Certification, so I wanted the name to reflect where I was. After trying numerous variations of the words ‘Letting Go’, Letitgocoach was the only name available for purchase.

Personally, I believe it’s because I smashed four words together to make the one word, and it had God’s blessing. I was ready to write as Letitgocoach.

This morning, I was playing around with this site, and decided to make a change. There haven’t been many changes made to it since the very beginning, so it was time to give it a more simplified look. This year alone there have been many changes in me, so the site should reflect more of who I am today.

After choosing a theme, I was prompted to give it a name.

I clicked a lowercase ‘L’, thinking it would remember Letitgocoach, but the computer thought my lowercase ‘l’, was an I, and auto-filled with Inbarbsworld. I haven’t seen that name in years.

It was my very first email address eons ago.

There are many stories behind Inbarbsworld, but most people refer to it in a teasing sort of way. One thing the storytellers have in common is they always say, “Everything is prettier Inbarbsworld.”

My name is Barb, and welcome to my world.

I’m happy you are here.

Quitting My Circumstances

My daughter spent most of the day in her room. She hasn’t done that in years, or not since we moved out on our own. She walked out of her room and asked, “So, when are you going to quit this job?” Her Mother was unrecognizable, sitting in a vat of misery. So, that’s what I did.

Since taking this job, which began as helping someone out of a tight spot, I have noticed a few things about myself that I didn’t like. I have been a Virtual Assistant by trade, but this job escalated way beyond that. I won’t bore you with all the details, but let’s just say I was under micromanagement. I can do my job, but the person who hires me has to let me.

The last email of many I received today caught my eye. He had listed all my responsibilities, and wanted to ensure this was a pleasant experience for both of us. I had agreed to answer the phone, return voicemail, and schedule appointments. Very basic. This list was not basic, so I hit reply, and told him he needed a full time assistant. He needed someone else.

Then I told him, “This is not pleasant.”

My world got very quiet after that reply was sent. It was so good to hear the silence.

I walked across the room to my personal laptop and pulled up my Letitgocoach Facebook page. While I had been sitting in a daze, God had been on Facebook. I had 99+ notifications in a two hour time span. I clicked on them, and to my surprise, this one lady had liked and shared over 50 of my posts. I pulled up her page, just to see if what was happening was real.

It was like God was saying…”See, I am doing a new thing! Now it springs up; do you not perceive it? I am making a way in the wilderness and streams in the wasteland.” Isaiah 43:19. Taking this job was not a new thing. It was old because I have gone down this road before. The only thing that has changed from the last time I helped, is me.

What I Crave

Yesterday was not a very pretty day Inbarbsworld. I allowed something to bother me to the point of sadness. That doesn’t happen very often and it’s not a good feeling. My daughter drove to the store and bought a cake. That helped.

blogThis morning I received an email from a Blog I follow. This guy has wisdom and I enjoy learning from him. He always pulls me up to the 30,000 foot view and helps me see the big picture. His name is Leo Babuata from Zen Habits.

He is studying Buddhas Four Noble Truths in more depth and he mentions ‘crave.’ It made me ponder what I crave besides cake with buttercream icing on an off day. This part of the article drew me back to where I needed to be.

“Just be in the moment you’re in, and see what’s actually in front of you. Not what you read into the moment, but what’s really there, in terms of light and sound and physical molecules. See if you can accept all of that exactly as it is, without craving something else, without avoiding what’s there. Just accept.”

blogOnce my day was done yesterday, I felt drained and alone. Today, I will do a better job at sitting in the present moment and seeing what is there. Sometimes I try to read more into the moment than is really there. That is not healthy for me today.

If you have read any of my Blogs, you know, I am a woman filled with love. To cover people with love and help them feel special brings me joy. When I do this throughout the day, my cup can start to empty. Give from the saucer not the cup.

When you give love, make sure you are receiving it in return. It’s okay to give some and not receive, but don’t give your all. If you do, you will go to sleep like I did, feeling empty, alone and craving love.

 

blackandwhiteBarbara is a writer and loves being a Mom to her 15 year old daughter. It’s a dream come true for her to be a Let It Go Coach and helping others enjoy their lives. She hosts Workshops, does one on one Coaching and is working on her first book.  You may connect with her via email. Letitgocoach@gmail.com