Attitude Is Everything

The first house my daughter and I lived in didn’t have a washer and dryer. That was not a deal breaker, we were just excited about our new life.

Once a week we went to the Laundromat.

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Photo by Bianca Jordan on Unsplash

I had to make a choice to see this as a positive.

We lived in the country and the nearest Laundromat was 30 minutes away, but we learned a lot!

We valued clean clothes more than before since we didn’t have a washer/dryer readily available. We learned to include other errands along with the Laundromat. She would wash her clothes while visiting her father, and bring them home clean.

Of course my plan was to buy a used washer and dryer, but the laundry room in our home was tiny! It would only accommodate a small stackable unit and I knew I would not want to use that for years to come. The great thing about the Laundromat is you can wash and dry 6 loads of laundry in record time.

My daughter began growing weary of our trips to the Laundromat, but remained grateful. We believed our next house would have a washer and dryer, but that was dependent on our attitudes in the moment.  I believe you have to be happy where you are, before you can move forward.

After a year and a half of using the Laundromat, the next house we moved into had a washer and dryer. They weren’t new, but we loved them!

When we came to look at the house we live in now, the first thing both of us noticed was…

 

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A brand new washer and dryer!

Every journey has to start somewhere, and becomes more beautiful over time if we keep the right attitude. Yes lovey. xx Attitude is Everything.

How You Leave

When you leave a relationship/marriage, it’s important how you leave. When the day came for me to leave, I was thoughtful. We had spent half our lives together and I didn’t want it to look like a wreckage. He already felt like his world was ripped apart.

We have to show life how we want to be treated, so life knows how to treat us in return. Do the next right thing.

It was my choice to leave. He was in denial, and it took time for him to be okay with how things landed. The amount of time is per person.

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My daughter and I discussed what to take with us. We didn’t need a lot of ‘things’, to make a new life.

We chose a few furniture pieces we loved, and wanted to live with. We still have those foundational pieces, but after we left, you couldn’t tell.

The cabinets held the most difficult choices.

We had collected a lot of beautiful things in our time together, but I wanted to leave some beauty. We collected pottery by Bill Campbell, and had full place settings by him. I left them in the cabinet. We had professional grade cookware, but I only took half.

We had two of a lot of things, so I left the one he liked best, all the way down to the measuring cups.

I couldn’t bring myself to pack up in front of him, so I waited until a few days before the move was scheduled, and packed. He stayed away during the move, but he hired movers to get us moved safely.

The moving truck arrived at our new home before my daughter and I did. They were on a schedule, so they unloaded the truck without us being there.

My daughter still talks about that day, and laughs about what we walked in on. Everything that was on the truck, was sitting in the middle of the house!

It looked like a big ball of furniture and boxes!

The movers looked at us and said, “We didn’t know where you wanted everything.” We didn’t know either, but in time we unraveled that big ball and created a world we wanted to live in, and we do!

Recently, I was at my ex husbands home, and he was at the kitchen sink washing some of those pieces that were left. He thanked me for leaving them, and especially his favorite measuring cup.

Time does heal. They just don’t tell you how long.

Be mindful of how you leave.

Take Every Test

My daughter is sitting in a college classroom, preparing for a test. She is young, and hasn’t been through many tests.

She has been home-schooled since 4th grade, and we have used life’s classroom. Of course, we used curriculum, but life is a fabulous teacher! Have we passed every test? Of course not, but every test failed, prepares us to succeed.

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My daughter had to learn to fail, and not let that stop her. When she takes a test for school, it’s okay to fail. Homeschooling allows you the freedom to retake the test. If she wasn’t happy with her grade, and knew she could do better, I would let her take the test again. Just like in life.

Learning from mistakes equals knowledge. I don’t believe ‘knowledge is power.’ The power comes from what we do with the knowledge. Anyone can sit full of knowledge.

My daughter had no pressure from me to go to college.

My philosophy is this. “Don’t waste my money, or your time on college, unless you know what you want to be.”

She is wicked smart, and her grades qualify for college, but she has seen many friends flounder in college for years, and leave with no usable degree. She is starting with community college, and I’m so happy for her! She will take some classes and discern her path, or just blaze a trail, but either way, it will be affordable, and not consume our lives.

She has learned through life, more than any curriculum. At her young age, she knows there will be many tests, and it’s okay not to pass it each time. The more tests you take, the more experience gained, and knowledge received.

Let go of the outcome, and be willing to take every test.

 

Free to Be

My darling. This is the day you walked through with grace.

Last December, he ripped your heart out, and threw it away. It was so unexpected. Two years of your life, gone, just like that. No warning of the words he said. You crumbled to the floor, and I held you while you screamed.

He decided to take a road trip with a buddy to California. They drove through Texas, and stopped in Austin today. You have an appointment scheduled in Austin this afternoon. Were your hands shaking on the wheel while driving?

To add to the injury, he is posting on social media from the same places you shared together. I don’t know what he is thinking by doing that, but you are under impressed.

You wonder why you can’t hate him. Like that would be easier to do. Because you are my daughter. We carry no hate in our hearts, and we don’t let that word slide from our lips. You know the power of words. They are like seeds that take root. You will just slowly unlove him with more time.

When he left, we moved, and you finished high school.

You are enjoying the summer months, and making plans for the fall. You are trying to discover who you are now, and better yet, who you want to become. I’m so pleased by who you are, and am excited to see who you become, and what you do in this world. Two companies already see the greatness within, and asked you to be their Ambassador!

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Be our Ambassador photo.

Life may not make much sense today. It may feel like a cruel joke, but I’m watching you. He can’t hurt you anymore my love, and he’s only passing through. There’s that grace.

The pain people cause, is a reflection of the pain they are in. Let him post all he wants. There has to be a part of you that is happy not to be in those pictures anymore.

You know how you have your good days, and sad days?

This morning we sat on the front porch, and you wept while sharing this news. We talked about how tall the weeds are in our yard, and embraced them as our friends. I prepared myself for a sad day, but it hasn’t been a sad day at all.

Watching you today, you look like a Queen that has been set free. Yes darling, my Queen B, and you are free to be!

Fill Yourself Up

I’ve been a Virtual Assistant for a friend in California for 5 years. I take care of one of his businesses online every weekend. It’s not a hard job, but I do it because I value him as a friend. I’ve known him for 20 years, and this job allows me to stay home with my daughter, and earn income. He was my mentor years ago, and taught me phone skills.

The job I do for him doesn’t require phone skills. It’s all online. This new job is because of my phone skills, which haven’t been used in 10 years. It’s fun dusting them off.

Everything we do, if we do it long enough, gives us a skill.

I mentioned in yesterday’s Blog post finding the unopened motivational CD in my briefcase. It has since been opened, and listened to, and I’m listening to one as I type. If you’re young, we listened to inspirational CD’s before podcasts.

You see, if you are a leader, you have to feed yourself.

My daughter mentioned she doesn’t have a lot of friends who encourage her, but they look to her for encouragement. She is learning about being a leader. I told her about the CD’s, and said, “Encouragement is widely available, but sometimes you need to go find it.”

Read a book, listen to a podcast, or just tell one of your peeps, you need some love! People don’t think the leader needs encouragement, but we do. We don’t expect it, and we’re not the best at receiving compliments, but the encourager can run low on encouragement. If you feel like you’re running on empty, take time to go fill yourself up.

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Find Your Dosha

I didn’t complete all four of the stained glass classes.

During the first class, I was with a group of ladies more mature in years than me. The teacher asked us to take turns introducing ourselves, and say why we’re here.

Each lady gave a similar answer. Their kids were grown, had left the nest, and they were looking for something to do.

When it was my turn, I said, “I just want to make something pretty!

I felt odd being there, and didn’t feel I was at that stage of life yet. I’m happy I went, and love trying new things.

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My friend Paula reminded me of this.

I left the class with what I need to make a piece of stained glass. It’s sitting in a box, on a shelf, waiting for the day that the time is right. We have time, but we spend it wisely.

When I took the Ayurveda class, we learned our Dosha’s.

Again, the teacher was a woman more mature in years than me, as was the majority of class attendants. She is a beautiful soul, and I will go back to attend her Yoga class. While taking the test to see which of the three Dosha’s we were, she said, “Most of you will rate high as Vata, or Kapha, and that is normal for our age.” What is normal for our age?

I guess being over 50, it isn’t normal to rate high as Pitta, but I recall sitting in that class, feeling a fire burning within. Finding my Dosha explains a lot, like why I can’t tolerate spicy food, or stand in the sun for very long. Fire meets fire.

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I rated high Pitta, with some Vata, and that is most likely due to my age, but that doesn’t stop me from trying new things. I believe we need to be on a continual journey of learning, otherwise we are stuck with old beliefs.

Marianne Williamson refers to these years as, “Re-greening.”

Sure, we slow our pace, and cannot physically do what we did when we were 20, but I don’t want to be any younger. I don’t know about you, but I finally have time to think!

“Internal work is sometimes done more easily while sitting there thinking than while busily running around. A frantic schedule helps us avoid taking a deeper look at ourselves, but by midlife such avoidance simply does not, and cannot work anymore. Slower lifestyles, candles, and soft music in the house, yoga, meditation, and the like are often signs of an internal re-greening.” (The Age of Miracles, M.W)

Thank you Marianne Williamson, for describing where I am, except the music part. I still listen to it way too loud.Travel-Photo-Quote

If you would like to find your Dosha, shoot me an email. I will be happy to send you the test. Letitgocoach@gmail.com

 

Plug Into Life

I’m really trying to plug into this little community.

That means leaving the house, and making myself visible.

After moving here, my daughter announced, “Hey Mom. You can always go hang out with the bikers on the weekends!”

Now, it’s one of my favorite things to do. A restaurant called Rolling Thunder Roadhouse is less than a mile from my home, and I go there often to sit and read, or engage in conversation. The owner’s Roger and Donna have pretty much adopted me. Roger is a French Chef, and his wife Donna has done a little bit of everything. We had an instant connection, plus, they make the best cold brew coffee!

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Cold brew and Chocolate Biscotti. On my way!

When my daughter and I moved here in January, I was pondering what should come with me. Do I really want to continue doing everything this year, in this new chapter, that I had been doing last year? Was it a fruitful path?

I had a job offer last week. It would still be working from home, but the company would have their calls forwarded for me to answer the calls. The owner knows I have phone skills, and will pay good money for them. A friend of mine busted out laughing when I told her my initial response.

I don’t know. I think I want to harvest seeds from the Hydrangea flower, and grow them to sell to my neighbors.

The company didn’t really have a response to that. Haha

Don’t sweat it lovelies. I’m going to go speak with them in person today. For me it really is about face to face. When I typed the first sentence of this post, is sounded like I was referring to the WordPress community, but I continued on.

I love this community, but over time I find myself letting go of virtual community. My phone still has no social media apps on it, and I’ve closed all my accounts except Facebook. I came across a Blog this morning that explains the technology addiction perfectly. You can read it here.

Do I want to continue Blogging? That has been the big question this year. I’ve posted more this week, than I posted the entire month of April. January through April, I posted one a week, and that used to be daily, so there’s progress.

Maybe I will go see Roger and Donna this morning, and take a book I’ve been reading with me. It’s a gorgeous day outside, and I just want to be out there, instead of in here.

It’s time to unplug from the computer, and plug into life.

“Technology is an option, not a lifeline.” The Robot Rebel