Lose The Stuff

One of the most memorable lessons I’ve learned is, don’t let your happiness depend on something you may lose. When my ex-husbands company moved without him, we lost our home to foreclosure and the ship began to sink.

Money has always been important to him. Growing up without having much, caused him to be highly motivated to have more. There is a lot of time and money that goes into having more. I grew up without a lot of material things, but Mama gave all the love she had. She told me she loved me all the time and gave the best hugs. I was loved.

I missed a lot of moments back then. My son’s life was Polo outfits, private schools and video games. I didn’t see much of my daughter. She had a nanny her first year and I wasn’t sure what to do with her after that.

My son’s life involved my drinking and my daughter’s did not. I got sober before I found out I was pregnant. God took my desire to drink completely away and He was watching as I lost everything else. Just like my drinking, it was for my best.

God watched as I lost everything that we worked had so hard for, so I thought. He was there the day I walked out of my marriage too. God had allowed us to accumulate all that stuff, but when the means to pay for it was taken away, there went the stuff. This happened to a lot of people when the economic crisis set in.

I pray that you have let go of your stuff.

My ex still has most of the stuff, but it’s not being enjoyed. He has spent all these years trying to get back what was taken from him. God says He will restore all that, and He has in my life. You would have thought it would have been the material things, but I live a very simple life today and love it.

It’s the moments God restored. I get to be with my daughter everyday with very little stress. We live a beautiful life and everything we need. All we need is God and one another. He wants us to depend on Him for every little thing and today, I do. The only way to lose everything now is to stop following God and that, I’m not willing to lose.

Wish Me Goodnight

I fell asleep texting Mr. Smith lastnight. We were talking and I dozed off and felt bad for doing that. Woke up in the middle of the night searching the bed for my phone. He knew what had happened, but he still wished me goodnight.

I have only had three long lasting relationships in my life. Some would say the first one doesn’t count because I was young and stupid. They all count and prepare you for what’s next. Each one gives you a sense of what is good for you.

blog

I’ll be the first to admit, I’m not the easiest person to love. Being an independent woman and following God’s path, there is not a lot of needs. Maybe every man wants to feel needed, but I have learned to need God.

What I want and what God wants for me are two different things. The same applies to my relationship with Mr. Smith. He is not love on demand and he will Make Me Wait. What I want and what he thinks I need are two different things, just like between God and me. Mr. Smith is good for me.

I tease him frequently that he doesn’t treat me right and he watches while I have my fits. I have had many a fit before God too and He watches and waits for me to get done. Sometime I feel like the child in public putting on a show trying to get their way. This usually mean a big time out for me.

God and Mr. Smith have my best interests at heart. Mr. Smith can touch me through technology or in person. He knows the little things are important and even though I fell asleep, he still texted me our goodnight message. Waking up and seeing that filled my heart into this day. A full heart is what God wants and that’s good for Mr. Smith and me.

The Next Right Thing

Our lives are a series of choices.

It can be the simplest of choices, such as going to bed at a reasonable hour, so I don’t oversleep. To the hardest of choices as who gets to be in the inner circle part of my life. My daughter and I discuss this quite often, and we always decide to do the next right thing, and let God do the rest.

hard

I’m reading “No Excuses“, by Brian Tracy and recommend it highly. It’s a refreshing read, reminds me of some things I know, but have forgotten, and Brian is just good.

He said something, similar to the title of this Blog post, but he took it one step further. He’s talking about doing the next right thing and he said, “Practice the Universal Maxim of Immanuel Kant: “Resolve to behave as though your every act were to become a universal law for people.”

Every act become law? I don’t know about you, but I can think of a few things I wouldn’t want the entire world emulating. Each person has their own set of morals, but what kind of world would it be, if we all just did the next right thing?