God, I thank you for this day. I know I have not accomplished as yet all you expect of me, and if that is your reason for bathing me in the fresh dew of another dawn, I am most grateful. I am prepared at last, to make you proud of me. I will forget yesterday, […]Read More...
This week, I have been reflecting on growth and the progress made. My daughter suggested I look at that and she is always right. This brings us to matters of the heart, which mine had grown hard over the years. God has a blowtorch.
Loving and being loved are two different things. It’s a simple act of kindness to love others, but to let others love you? There are many levels and the higher we go, the more difficult it gets. I can let someone in, but only so far.
What I found is the level I let them in, is the level the relationship stays. The more I give, the more they give and receive. I remember standing on the pier, asking God, “When are you going to send that special someone to love?” God promptly replied, “When are you going to let me?”
God will send someone to nudge their way into your heart, mind and soul. You don’t have to be ready, but you need to be willing. They won’t settle for just a little bit of you, or a part time love. No, they want all of you and in a big way. God won’t send a sissy. No, it will be someone strong enough to handle every piece of what you have to offer.
Let go of your heart and allow someone in to love you. It’s not as hard as you think, and the letting in is worth it.
There is a reason and season for everything. Keeping our eyes and ears open will allow us to see, even if we don’t feel ready. When we least expect it God will reveal something that will make us pause and study our path. We are ready.
There are normally signs along the way. It’s easy to miss the small details, but if we take notice, we can watch them accumulate. Choosing to ignore the signs prolongs the inevitable. There is less pain in letting go of something, or someone that is already long gone.
Listen to your heart, but take your brain with you.
The way we were raised has a lot to do with our beliefs, especially about ourselves. I have friends that are in miserable marriages because they were raised to fight for the marriage. My parents stayed married until all the kids were out of the house and then they got a divorce. I chose to break that cycle and let go of what was gone.
Life is an ever changing cycle so what I learned as a child isn’t always what’s best for me today. I recall early in my letting go process going through a list of things my mother said and digging for truth. Would I get sick if I went outside with my hair wet? Was sex my duty as a wife? I was able to debunk most of the list.
I don’t have to utilize everything I was taught growing up. I’m grateful to have choices. Part of the Letting Go process is laying everything out on a table, picking and choosing what I want to keep to move forward in life. If it’s good and adds value I kept it and build upon that. My parents instilled a solid foundation to build a life that is beautiful.
Almost two years ago, I looked at my life and asked myself, “Is this God’s best?” It was pretty clear it wasn’t the best because it was a life of barely getting by. God doesn’t barely get by. He is abundant in every area of our lives.
I didn’t ask anyone’s opinion of what I should do. Praying and letting God know what steps I saw to take, was all I needed. He could have stopped me at anytime. Did my friends think I was crazy for leaving a 25 year marriage? Yes, they did. Did people think I was crazy for leaving the security of my town to move out in the middle of nowhere? Yes.
I grabbed my daughter, and left everything I knew as familiar, and stepped into the unknown. God had it all waiting for me. The house, land, pier to praise and worship on, nobody knew my name, and they still don’t. This house and the time here has been a place of healing for me. To Let Go of the past so I could enjoy the moment.
Today, God is giving me another new beginning. After going through the Letting Go process and being secure in who I am, it is time to move on. My daughter and I sat down last December and talked about our goals and dreams for 2015. We spoke about a nicer house, and named off some things that were missing with this one that we wanted. We still wanted land, but to have a laundry room with a washer and dryer would be cool.
This house didn’t have a washer/dryer. We’ve been driving into town and using a laundromat every week, while living here.
When we came across this house we are moving into, the owner took us in through the back door. We stepped into a large mudroom lined with custom cabinetry. There was an old dryer sitting there by itself, so I was a little puzzled.
After walking through the house, we were in love with all the woodwork and character it held. As we were wrapping up our tour, the owner said, “Don’t worry about that old dryer sitting there. I am having a brand new washer and dryer installed in a couple of weeks.” Welcome home.
You gotta love the directory at a large shopping mall. You walk over to look up the store location of your choice, but first it helps to find the spot that says, “You Are Here.” I want one of those for my life.
This quote is the mantra for my coaching career. I love the simplicity and have to remind myself of it frequently. It’s very simple to read and say, but much more difficult to do. We like being in control but, I can tell you from experience, it’s more productive to Let It Go.
Our body and mind love pleasure. It will gravitate toward pleasure faster than pain. Some think their life should have a certain amount of pain. That they are not supposed to walk in complete happiness. The saying, “No pain, no gain”, should be debunked. That is one of the many things my program does. It looks at those old beliefs and sayings we grew up hearing, and determines if we want to utilize them in our lives today.
To give up control means stepping into the unknown. That can sound like a scary place to be, but it’s not. I have done this so many times in the past two years alone, today I pretty much run toward the unknown. If you have read any of my blogs, you know I have a ginormous God. Learning to walk by faith, that He has a plan for me and my life, makes stepping into the unknown easier. You could do it with a positive mental state as well. To know that everything is going to turn out for good will get you moving.
I had allowed my life to become so miserable, anything would have been an improvement. This is called hitting bottom. God will allow us to do that. How miserable will we become before we are willing to make a change? This is a horrible place to be. Everything looks dismal and grey.
Let me encourage you today that life is meant to be beautiful! By going through the letting go process one day at a time, one lesson at a time, we chip away at the ugly and let the light shine through. For me, it felt like shedding layers of old skin, until I got down to the real me. The people that came into my life were people that added good, not chaos.
Stepping into the unknown is an invigorating place to be. If you are at your bottom there’s great news! The only way to go is up! Take my hand and let’s go.
Happiness is something you have to hold onto. Life happens fast, and circumstances can steal your joy. People will come into your life to steal your joy because they have none. We can share our joy with others, but don’t give it all away or allow it be taken. Life is 10% of what happens and the 90% is how we react. Hold on tight.
Last week, I received a text from a friend I haven’t spoken with in a while. She was at one of our favorites stores and saw this sign. She sent me this pic and said, “Saw this today and it reminded me of you.” How sweet is that? I’m honored and delighted that she thought of me when she saw, “Choose Happiness.”
I was talking to another friend recently and listening to the problems she was facing in her life. They all stemmed from certain people she was allowing to be a part of her life. She probably saw a perplexed look on my face because I don’t have problems like that anymore. Why? Because I don’t allow people like that into my life anymore.
Set your standards high.
If you don’t like the way you are treated by some people then tell them. The setting of your standards and what you allow will attract those type people. Raise your standards and God will place people in your life to meet them. Continue to raise them and you’ll continually meet those people.
Don’t settle for the life you have now if you want one that is better. God promises that He has plans for us and they are more than we can even imagine or hope for. So, even the best life we can possibly imagine, God has more in store for us.
Going through the Letting Go process cleaned out a lot of stinking thinking and people. I expect from others what I expect from myself and my standards are high. This narrows the playing field, but I have a quality of life that is more than I could ever imagine or hope for. Choose happiness and surround yourself with everything it brings.
As I picked up the K Cup to pop into the Keurig this morning, I looked at the name and it said, ‘One Love’. Yep…Bob Marley does coffee.
1 Corinthians 13:4-6 describes it best. To receive it and believe are simple enough, but to live it is a little more challenging for us mere mortals. I recently met a couple that emanate this kind of love. The kind of love only God can manifest between two. One love.
Patient and kind coupled together is always fun for me. It’s quicker and easier to be anxious and mean, especially to the one dearest to us. This is where I appreciate the part, ‘it keeps no record of wrongdoing’, because my list can be extensive.
That was one of the first things I had to let go of was my record of wrongs. Giving myself permission to let go of all the pain in my heart allowed God to create in me a clean heart. Have you ever walked into a closet that was so full you could barely move? That’s probably how God feels when asked to work on our hearts. He needs room to move. Let it go.
To forgive and forget. Forgiveness is free but to forget as well? By letting go you learn to think of that hurt as a lesson learned and move on. It may still pinch you from time to time, but by letting go of the pain associated with the experience, it becomes a valuable lesson. One you hopefully won’t make again in the near future.
To trust. If God places someone in your path to love, trust Him. God doesn’t make mistakes, and maybe you’re thinking, ‘but I do’. Read the verse in its entirety. It’s okay to make mistakes, and if you have the right one to love, they will keep no record of wrongs.
Love always perseveres. This is not to be confused with breaking up and getting back together over and over again. One love stands strong in adversity. While one of you is weak the other is strong. To have one love, one of you must stand firm on these promises when the other one can’t. God made it that way and it works. It all begins by letting go.
Going through the Letting Go process, I saw immediate change within me. I had accumulated a lot of learned behaviors over the years. I was ready and willing to let go of old thinking and behaviors that no longer served me. My circumstances had changed, so it was time for me to see what that looked like. To allow the change and grow along with them.
Another thing I noticed rather quickly was, I had time. I could actually take my time doing things and do things well. It was like I never had time before and this was new to me. God had given me a clean plate and I was going to be very picky about what I put on it.
This life was going to have nourishment! This life I was following my heart, but taking my head with me. Steve Jobs was full of wisdom and I treasure his quotes. Here he says, “Have the courage to follow your heart and intuition, they somehow already know what you truly want to become.”
I knew I was definitely going to take my time.
When my daughter and I first started living in our new home, we tended to still feel hurried, like we were on this life or death schedule from before. The Letting Go process gave me the revelation to stop. Just stop everything and enjoy the moment.
If we needed to be somewhere by a certain time, we allowed more time to get ready, so we weren’t rushed getting out the door.
Take your time. It’s all we really have and once it’s gone, we can’t get it back. Choose how you spend it and who you share it with. Seek out good things in your life and enjoy every moment.
Everything else is secondary.
Almost a year ago I received my Letting Go Coaching Certification. This process can help anyone who desires quality of life.
We start by adopting the perspective of our nervous system. You see, the body knows how to be healthy. If you spent time each day resting, remaining calm and you led a peaceful life, your body would remain balanced and healthy. This is because the space of rest allows the body to express its most authentic inner energy, the power of homeostasis (inner balance).
Your nervous system makes decision on your behalf. If you put your hand on a hot stove, the information travels up your arm to the spinal cord. The spinal cord nerves process the information and sends a command to your arm to pull the hand back. All of this occurs without the brain. It is the nature of the spinal cord to make an immediate decision on your behalf, much faster than it registers in the brain.
Have you ever touched something hot, recoiled and wondered why you did that? Your brain is processing what your nervous system already knew.
Have you ever noticed a bruise on your body and wondered where it came from? The moment it happened, it was painful and the brain took assessment of the pain. Life is a lot like that. We take on the painful experience, assess and move on to the next thing. What happens to that painful experience? It leaves a bruise.
My goal as a Letting Go Coach is to fine tune your awareness of what the body is telling you in the moment. Our bodies are designed to heal themselves given the proper care and attentiveness. Letting Go of past experiences allows the bruise to heal quickly and you will begin to realize, it was only a bruise. You are not broken.
It amazes me the people we allow to come into our lives. They influence our behavior more than we are willing to admit. I enjoy teaching people how to let go of unhealthy relationships. We all have relationships on many levels, but are they healthy for you? Are you feeling the three R’s? Refreshed, Renewed and Revitalized by these people in your life? If not, it’s time to let go and give ’em up!
Over the years, I’ve trained myself to ‘Never Give Up’. That is my screen saver on my laptop, so I’m reminded every time I glance at it, which is throughout the day. I have learned, if you want a great life, you have to give up what looks good to you. What looks good to me is a far cry to what looks good to God, and His plan for me. God is always showing off and out doing me! This prompts me to continually raise my standards and not get too comfortable with what I have. There is always better.
The power of Letting Go is a beautiful thing! I wrote down three affirmations daily for weeks. There is something about letting the words flow through you, onto paper that extinguishes the power of the situation. That along with a gratitude list is what caused a major shift in my life from good to great!
Every eagle has a nest. I’m very careful who I allow to enter my nest. It’s not a large nest, so no more than a handful of people fit comfortably.
I’ve mentioned this in a previous blog, but here is my criteria for nest dwellers. Look at the people closest to you. These are the people who influence your life the most, and ask yourself these questions about each one.
Does this person: Love you? Motivate you? Encourage you? Inspire you? Enhance you? Bring you happiness?
If you answered ‘NO’ to any of these, it’s time to look deeper. Let’s let go of good, so we have room for great.