Tag: letting go

Be Here Now

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The one phrase that will make my skin crawl is, “Deal with it”. I don’t enjoy hearing that from someone’s mouth and directed toward me.

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That usually means they have provided or pointed out something distasteful in my life that needs to be resolved. Good things add goodness to my life.  If it’s not good, then I have a choice whether or not to keep it. Life happens fast, and the key that I have found, is to ‘deal’ with everything it throws at me immediately.

Being a woman, this usually brings up an emotion or two that I need to get a handle on first. If something happens unexpectedly, I have to sit back and look at it for what it is. Acknowledging how it’s making me feel, and sit with that feeling. To feel the present moment.

One thing I have found is you have to reach out and touch it. Whatever it is that’s bringing up this flood of emotion, whether it be anger, loneliness, panic, frustration, desperation, overwhelm…whatever it is, just touch the root cause. Every cause has calmness on the other side.  Just feel it out.

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Something or someone is trying to get your attention! We need to pay attention to every moment. When I reach toward it, what’s waiting for me is exactly what I needed, whether I knew it or not. It’s not scary. We just talk through our sides and come to an agreement that works for both of us. Then comes my favorite part….LETTING GO! Once it’s discussed, I get to let it go, and have more room for what’s next.

This is present moment living for me. I feel it, reach toward it, talk it through and move on. This prevents worry, grudges, procrastination, disappointment and all the nastiness of life. If you don’t reach toward it, you will probably put it in a box up on a shelf to deal with later. This is not healthy. It never goes away like that, and it will sit and wait. This also kills growth and nothing good grows in darkness. Face whatever is coming after you, because somehow, it needs you right now, in this present moment.

That’s Even Better

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I grew up watching my grandmother worry about things long before they happened, and promised myself I would not do that. Unfortunately, I did worry for many years.

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This morning I woke up feeling anxiety in my body. Grabbing a cup of coffee, I strolled out to the porch to wait for the darkness to turn to light. I’ve had some battles this week, so I marked it up to that. What I saw was, I needed to stand firm in my faith, beliefs, and what I know as right.

A couple of birds flew overhead, gracefully flying to their next destination. Were they arguing, or loosing feathers from stress? No. Matthew 6:26  (AMP) “Look at the birds of the air; they neither sow nor reap nor gather into barns, and yet your heavenly Father keeps feeding them. Are you not worth much more than they?”

Yes, we are! When we worry, we are thinking of the future. Our mind will think past, present, (briefly) and future. It doesn’t want to stand still in the present moment because it wants to be a problem solver, and drag us along for the ride. I use the image of cans ties to the bumper of a car after a wedding. I can either let go, or be dragged. I’m going to continue letting go.

Turning to leave the porch, and walk inside my home, I caught a glimpse of the pond. Elvis, our large grey stork was standing there looking at me as if to say, ‘Good Morning’. Every time I needed to know God was near, this stork has shown up. It’s not an everyday occurrence, only when needed, and it still surprises me.

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Sitting at my desk typing away, I gaze out the window to get a better look. Now, the large white Egret is there, on the opposite side of the pond from Elvis. After more than a year of living here, I have not seen them visit at the same time. This reminds me of God’s promise:

Zechariah 9:12 (AMP) 12 “Return to the stronghold [of security and prosperity], you prisoners of hope; even today do I declare that I will restore double your former prosperity to you.” Have you heard the saying, ‘Double for your trouble’? Well, this is it darlin’s. God will give us double the blessing for any trouble this world throws at us.

That is what I saw this morning. How about you? Is something staring you in the face that has you filled with anxiety, or is it in the future? If it’s in the future, it has a very good chance of not happening, because time changes circumstances. All we have is this present moment we’re sitting in right now.

I encourage you to be still in this moment, and know that God is near. He has it all worked out. It may not look like what we have planned, but in my experience, that’s even better.

No Regrets

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Just because we have them, doesn’t mean we have to keep them. The dictionary describes it as: Regret is a negative conscious and emotional reaction to personal past acts and behaviors. Regret is often expressed by the term “sorry.” That is encouraging to me because it reveals itself as consciousness and emotion, which we have control over. It also places it in the past, which we can choose not to live in anymore.

Some of you know, I spent a third of my life drowning in alcoholism. Early in my sobriety, I told a friend that I regretted all the years I lost to drinking, and wish I had them back. She quickly told me, “God was with you that whole time. Watching over you, protecting you, and allowing that experience to form you into the person you are today.” It’s true, and I wouldn’t have met her. One of my most treasured friends.

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The most important thing to know is….We’re not alone. There are people out there who have done the same stupid things we did, if not worse, and are alive to tell about it. If you want to hear some, go sit in an AA meeting with a lot of newcomers. This is called a ‘Beginners’ meeting, and they usually have just a few hours sober. They are full of regret, and share snippets of things they did drunk, and are trying to accept sober. What’s interesting is almost everyone in the room will be nodding their head in agreement as their story unfolds. We can relate to their pain because we did something similar, if not the exact same thing!

I saw a quote this week that grieved me. “I used to think the worst thing in life was to end up all alone. It’s not. The worst thing in life is to end up with people that make you feel all alone.”

Do you know who said it? The late, great Robin Williams. How can a man who brought so much joy to millions of people, live in darkness? I’m guessing he kept it hidden from the world, and it took his life. For me, that would be the ultimate Regret.

Genie…You are now free.

 

When You’re Ready

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One of my Favorite Letting Go Lessons is Letting Go of Unhealthy Relationships. It’s trying enough letting go of these people, but what do we do when they come back? It’s simple, but not always easy. Here are some simple steps.

1. Pick a questionable relationship in your life. One that does not align with your definition of health and well being.
2. Close your eyes, breathe and be calm.
3. Feel the presence of this person you have identified as questionable. Notice how your body responds to their presence. Take the time to get clear upon the effect they have upon you.
4. Then, answer the following questions:

a. Does this relationship make you feel balanced?
b. In what way does this relationship physically, mentally, emotionally and spiritually benefit you?
c. What is the physical, mental, emotional and spiritual cost of this relationship? (I keep a journal beside me to write my answers in)

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Lastly, if there are relationships, which you know to be extremely unhealthy for you, openly listen to your Higher Power. Ask for clarity, strength and courage. If the truth is, it’s time to avoid further harm to your spiritual, emotional, mental and physical well being, then rest with that feeling until you are ready to act.

I have witnessed people openly tell the person, “I’m letting you go”. and I’ve seen them detach allowing the person to disappear. You do what’s best for you and your well-being. By you becoming a stronger, more loving person, they will most likely show up again, no matter how you let go. Verbally or quietly.

Maybe by then, you both have changed enough that it can be healthy. I leave you with two of my favorite quotes by Joyce Meyer.

“Don’t be upset about losing something. It might be putting you in the place you should have been in to begin with.” and “Sometimes God will take something away to straighten you out. He’ll give it back when you’re ready”.

Change From Within

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This week has been a week of growth. What is that other word for growth? Oh yea…Change. Gearing up to host a Letting Go Workshop makes me reminiscent of the first time I went through one. Going through my lessons from a year ago, it’s encouraging and comforting to see continual growth.

My life has evolved into a life of beauty and wonder. The lessons in the Letting Go Project equipped me with tools to continue to use when needed. One of the many gifts it gave me was feeling the change start to happen from within. It’s an unsettling feeling at first, but if you sit with it long enough, revelation will appear. I’m grateful that I can feel change stirring within, and let it flow out as a beacon of light upon the path.

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It’s natural when change happens from within to move outward into your life, versus life hitting you from outside and being forced to make changes within. That’s not a good feeling and causes stress and uncertainty. I began feeling at peace with myself, and liked the person I was becoming. That’s when life changes accordingly. I didn’t need outside influences to feel good about myself, or depend on anyone to validate my life. Change from within.

The Happiness Meter

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What makes you happy? Do things, or people make you happy? Daily lesson…Happiness comes from within.

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It’s difficult to not allow outside influences steal my joy. Sitting in the present moment, and feeling a little off about something not yet within sight. Calming the mind and spirit, and breathing deep to allow time for clarity. Once it’s within view, whether it’s a comment someone made, or an action that was puzzling, releasing it out of the present moment will take away it’s power.

By diffusing the power in any situation, you will not be prompted to react. Breathe through the disturbance and if a response is needed, logically do so. It is always more effective to ‘respond’ verses react. Another diffusion of power.

If there is anything in your life that you could lose…don’t depend on it to bring you happiness. That’s pretty simple. I wish someone would have pounded that through my head when I was in my 20’s. When things are going well, it’s easy to be happy. It’s when things are not going according to plan that our happiness is tested.

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If you don’t get anything else out of my Blog, please get this. You are not responsible for other people’s happiness! You cannot make someone happy. If I see someone struggling with their happiness meter, I can show them love. Help redirect their thoughts to find the path they lost. If happiness is at a low-level, it’s usually because I’ve stepped off the path God has for me, but He always redirects.

Check in each day with the happiness meter.

Know Who You Are

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This week…I ran myself through a 24 hour detox. This was not on my list of things to do but I’m grateful it happened!

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My daughter and I joined a gym and started working out at least 4 days a week. Yesterday, I didn’t have the amount of energy I desired, so into the kitchen I went for experimentation. I discovered a liquid nutritional product that I used to take everyday. Since joining the gym, I had focused on protein and other supplements, and hadn’t taken in it a while. This product reaches you at a cellular level, so I poured a glass and drank it.

A couple of hours later, I poured another tall glass, and drank that too. My daughter and I went out to run some errands and within an hour, every vein in my body was screaming! I started feeling achy all over and having cold chills. We made it back to the house, and I curled up in my favorite chair, with a blanket. My body was taking turns breaking out in cold chills and heating up. The Letting Go Workshops taught me to listen to my body and give it time to heal itself. Lesson Three has you write this out:

My body is a master of healing itself. I now commit to giving my body the time and space it needs to heal each day. I now trust my body to heal.

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Curled up in the chair, I did a recount of what I did that day that was different. Between working out and drinking the large amount of additional supplements, I had stirred up all the toxins in my body! This reminded me so much of The Letting Go Project I went through. My body was pushing all the toxins through every pore, and the lessons I did each week did something similar. I was able to stir up everything that wasn’t ‘adding’ to my life and physically and mentally release them!

Upon completion of The Letting Go Project, I had a new mind and a new life free from toxins. Just like after the detox, my body seems new and lighter. I encourage you to contact me today if you’re ready to detox your life. I’ll leave one of my favorite quotes for you to ponder:

Do the things you used to talk about doing but never did. Know when to let go and when to hold on tight. Stop rushing. Don’t be intimidated to say it like it is. Stop apologizing all the time. Learn to say no, so your yes has some oomph. Spend time with the friends who lift you up, and cut loose the ones who bring you down. Stop giving your power away. Be more concerned with being interested than being interesting. Be old enough to appreciate your freedom, and young enough to enjoy it. Finally know who you are. -Kristin Armstrong