To Be Free

The time has come for a WordPress hiatus.

I’ve felt it gnawing at me for a while, but this week it became crystal clear. I’m determined to keep the portions on my plate in balance, and there’s new opportunity just over the horizon.

It’s been challenging to keep my plate clean, because I’m a doer, but I want to give God plenty of room to move. There are times when we don’t see Him move in our lives, and wonder where He is. Even God needs room.

I’ve been thinking about the Taylor Swift documentary I watched earlier this year. There was this one thing she spoke about that jumped out at me, and it’s still on my mind.

In 2016, she took a year off.

Just disappeared from the public eye for one year.

To me, that sounds like freedom.

uncertainty

In a card for my birthday last October, my daughter wrote, ‘This is your year!’, and she’s right, but there’s so much more I want to experience, and accomplish. I hope she writes that in every birthday card from here on out.

After going through my archives, I thought I’d be rejuvenated about Blogging, but instead, there’s a relief in it. There’s no pressure to Blog everyday, or every week for that matter. Now I know, I went through them to be happily satisfied with what’s here, leading up to this day.

Thank you for walking alongside me on this path, but it’s time to step over to a new one. There’s so much freedom in letting go, especially with people, places and things you love. I wish for you to receive every bit of goodness God has in store. May you learn what it feels like in your bones, to be free.

Maybe You’ve Changed

My daughter made my Chemex this morning. She was getting ready to leave for classes, but paused long enough to do that.

That’s true love.

She stayed home this weekend, so I didn’t make weekend plans. I just wanted to hang out with her in that weekend vibe. Life has her on a rapid schedule right now, so it was different for her to just chill. We went to one of our favorite small towns yesterday and strolled the streets of downtown.

lattes

We walked into one of my favorite shops, or so I thought. There was a day not too long ago I would drive to that town just for that shoppe. It’s full of Artisan goods on display and for sale. One of my favorite Potters has his work there and I soon found his display taking up a corner of the store.

I picked up one of his coffee mugs and cradled it in my hand. It didn’t have the same feel as the mugs we use today. My daughter said, “You know I will slip some of those mugs from Dad’s for you if you want.” I used to collect this potter’s work, but left all of it in the cabinet when we left.

Placing it back on the shelf, I said, ‘Nah.’ Our mugs feel like love when you hold them.

This mug belonged on display.

Leaving the shoppe, I looked down at the sidewalk and told my daughter, “I didn’t see anything in there today that resonated with me. It used to be one of my favorite shoppes, but maybe it’s changed.”

She stood with me in that moment and softly said, “Maybe you’ve changed.”

It Was Time

“Do you want a new Christmas stocking?”, she asked. I hadn’t thought about it till that moment.

secret

I haven’t had a new Christmas stocking since the divorce. The one I brought with me is laying in a box of unused Christmas items. These items that at one time, we enjoyed having, but they no longer resonate. That was my stocking.

Letting go of what you once were makes room for the new.

stocking

My new Christmas stocking is completely different than the other one. This is how my daughter sees me today. She knew before I did that it was time.

These 3 Things

The year of lessons learned. Learning is not always enjoyable, but it’s necessary for the next part of the journey. I’ve let go of things that had heart strings ingrained. There’s been many a fork in the road and I don’t normally take the easy path. Let’s just say I took side roads.

If we can wrap our hearts and mind around the first two, number three happens naturally. The kicker is….it’s not immediately seen. The ‘reason’ will eventually show up, if we have faith.

Believing there’s goodness in the unseen.

3things

Find comfort my darlings in these three things.

Someday’s You’re Living

My daughter backed her Jeep into my truck.

It was my mistake for leaving it sitting there.

I hadn’t pulled all the way into my side of the driveway. My daughter was with me at the time and I was trying to leave her extra room to get out of the truck. The tree branches are taking over. We forgot it was sitting there when she backed out the following morning. 😦

She was upset, but I wasn’t bothered. It hurt her Jeep more than my truck. Her Jeep is relatively new, and Steve, (my truck) is ten years old.

Walking through the house this morning I noticed it’s time to vacuum. I’m pretty sure I just did a couple of days ago. Big white dog is shedding like a mad dog, but you know what?

He’s worth every hair I walk through.

I’ve dropped the ball on a few things this week, but I’m living. Just living life through the bumps, scrapes and vacuum bag full of dog hair.

A few days later, my daughter still felt guilty for backing into my truck. I told her, “I love you more than Steve.” She gasped and asked, “Was that ever in question?” We both laughed, but there was a day, when she was small, that I wouldn’t have driven him until he was fixed.

Leave evidence that someday’s you’re living.

Send it Back

The peony is almost out of season.

I love this flower. It has layers of petals and to watch them slowly unfold brings contentment. My life is so simple that I’m entertained by watching peonies open before my eyes. 🙂

A nearby store carries them, but supply is getting low, so I bought what they had.

When I woke up the next day and walked by the coffee table, I stopped and stared.

peony

They had burst open during the night.

The store offers a 5 day guarantee on flowers. If they don’t open properly you can return them.

I found the receipt, placed them in a bag and took them back to the store. The florist remembered me from the day before.

She didn’t have any fresh peonies, but suggested I take a look around. Nothing screamed, ‘take me home’, so I went to a cashier for the return.

That was a first. Returning dead flowers.

That’s another level of a beautiful life. Knowing what doesn’t belong and to lovingly send it back.

There Is Better

I bought a yard globe for the front yard.

It looked fabulous in the store, but when I got it home and placed it in the flower bed, I didn’t like it at all. It was not right so, I took it back to the store.

globe

Is there such a thing as too much bling?

I was happy for not hesitating long before taking it back. I’m a laid back soul, so I pondered it trying to make it work, but I’m just not willing to settle.

♥ ♥ ♥

I read a Blog yesterday written by someone I follow. We are on the same page in our philosophy of letting things go. She let go of her supplies to a long time craft she had loved, but wasn’t enjoying anymore. The title of her Blog sums it up nicely.

It says, “Cut the ties that bind, even though you loved them.“~Co-Creating and Cowgirl Wisdom.

She says in her post that even if she returns to the craft she would buy new tools, so it was time to let go of what she had. Let someone else enjoy them like a beginner. The tools for the craft have been updated, and now she knows there is better.

♥ ♥ ♥

It was easy to return the yard globe to the hardware store, but other choices pull at our heartstrings more. I assure you lovely. There is better.

So Many Firsts

My daughter is at the eye doctor today.

She called and made an appointment yesterday to have her eyes checked. What an adult thing to do. I’m in awe watching her set her sails.

adventure boat deck islands
Photo by Vaibhav Kashyap on Pexels.com

We raise them to the best of our ability, and then watch them as they go.

I’m not going to try and catch you up on what all has happened. I will let her do that in her own words. She has changed/grown so much this year.

I feel like today, we hit a milestone. The beginning of the ‘Mission accomplished’ phase of the journey.

The day I left her father, she saw me truly follow my heart, and she’s been watching me do so ever since. It didn’t surprise me one bit when she said, “I want to spend Christmas in England this year.” It will be the first Christmas we didn’t celebrate together.

My daughter writes. Photography is her love, but her words add life to each photo. Here is the link to her Blog. Thank you for sitting here with me today as the grand list begins of so many firsts.

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My daughter as of yesterday.

In Barbs World

I didn’t have any plans of becoming a Letting Go Coach. It was offered to me after going through the Letting Go lessons personally.

If it’s in front of me, I’m gonna walk through it.

I told myself, “There are enough coaches in the world”, and there are some really good ones. People who have a passion for it. I was grateful for receiving the certification, but it wasn’t a passion.

All I wanted to do at the time was write.

In the midst of creating this site, I was instructed by WordPress to choose a name. I had just completed my Letting Go Certification, so I wanted the name to reflect where I was. After trying numerous variations of the words ‘Letting Go’, Letitgocoach was the only name available for purchase.

Personally, I believe it’s because I smashed four words together to make the one word, and it had God’s blessing. I was ready to write as Letitgocoach.

This morning, I was playing around with this site, and decided to make a change. There haven’t been many changes made to it since the very beginning, so it was time to give it a more simplified look. This year alone there have been many changes in me, so the site should reflect more of who I am today.

After choosing a theme, I was prompted to give it a name.

I clicked a lowercase ‘L’, thinking it would remember Letitgocoach, but the computer thought my lowercase ‘l’, was an I, and auto-filled with Inbarbsworld. I haven’t seen that name in years.

It was my very first email address eons ago.

There are many stories behind Inbarbsworld, but most people refer to it in a teasing sort of way. One thing the storytellers have in common is they always say, “Everything is prettier Inbarbsworld.”

My name is Barb, and welcome to my world.

I’m happy you are here.

Feel the Music

I woke up this morning pondering the men that have passed through my life. I’ve loved them all, and still do on a certain level. As I began making changes last year, the tagline to this Blog changed, and I’m still standing firm in these words. “Let it all go, and see what stays.” God stayed.

Hoping in my truck earlier today, this song began playing on the radio. Maybe it doesn’t pertain to only the men, but everything I have let go of to bring me to this space today.

I know my heart will never be the same
But I’m telling myself I’ll be okay
Even on my weakest days,
I get a little bit stronger.

Thank you God for pulling me through, and making me stronger.