We raise them to the best of our ability, and then watch them as they go.
I’m not going to try and catch you up on what all has happened. I will let her do that in her own words. She has changed/grown so much this year.
I feel like today, we hit a milestone. The beginning of the ‘Mission accomplished’ phase of the journey.
The day I left her father, she saw me truly follow my heart, and she’s been watching me do so ever since. It didn’t surprise me one bit when she said, “I want to spend Christmas in England this year.” It will be the first Christmas we didn’t celebrate together.
My daughter writes. Photography is her love, but her words add life to each photo. Here is the link to her Blog. Thank you for sitting here with me today as the grand list begins of so many firsts.
I didn’t have any plans of being a Letting Go Coach. It was offered to me after personally going through a series of Letting Go lessons. I have a tendency to walk through every door that opens, but that doesn’t mean you have to stay indefinitely.
All I wanted to do at the time was write, so Letitgocoach became my nom de plume.
In the midst of creating this site, I was instructed by WordPress to choose a name. I had just completed my Letting Go Coaching Certification, so I wanted the name to reflect where I was. After trying numerous variations of the words ‘Letting Go’, Letitgocoach was the only name available for purchase. I began to write as Letitgocoach.
This morning, I was playing around with this site, and decided to make a change. There haven’t been many changes made to it since the very beginning, so it was time to give it a more simplified look. This year alone there have been many changes in me, so the site should reflect more of who I am today.
After choosing a theme, I was prompted to give it a name.
I clicked a lowercase ‘L’, thinking it would remember Letitgocoach, but the computer thought my lowercase ‘l’, was an I, and auto-filled with Inbarbsworld. I haven’t seen that name in years. I used it as an email address 25 years ago.
There are many stories behind Inbarbsworld, but most people refer to it in a teasing sort of way. One thing they have in common is they always say, “Everyone deserves a day Inbarbsworld.”
I woke up this morning pondering the men that have passed through my life. I’ve loved them all, and still do on a certain level. As I began making changes last year, the tagline to this Blog changed, and I’m still standing firm in these words. “Let it all go, and see what stays.” God stayed.
Hoping in my truck earlier today, this song began playing on the radio. Maybe it doesn’t pertain to only the men, but everything I have let go of to bring me to this space today.
I know my heart will never be the same
But I’m telling myself I’ll be okay
Even on my weakest days,
I get a little bit stronger.
Thank you God for pulling me through, and making me stronger.
Letting go of what is comfortable. Even though I knew there was more, where I stood felt okay, and it was easy. There wasn’t anything wrong, except my heart wanted more.
2017 was a year of following my heart, and believe me, my heart and mind were conflicted. What was logical thinking, didn’t feed my heart, and when my heart soared, my mind told me I was bonkers. It was time to set my heart free.
Richard Rohr says, “Houses are meant to move out of”.
I pondered that quote for what seemed like a long time, until it took root in my heart. My mind kept pointing out all the positive aspects of where we were living, but my heart wasn’t happy. The thought of moving was uncomfortable. We had lived in a country setting for a few years, and it was peaceful. No complaints, unless you asked my heart.
I mentioned that quote to a man in our community, and he was flabbergasted! He quickly opposed it, and said, “Oh No! Houses are meant to be lived in, and filled with family and friends!” I was living in my house, but it wasn’t filled with family and friends. They lived an hour away. For two years, my daughter had been driving an hour each way, every weekend to see her Dad. She was tired.
A couple of friends came to visit, and showed me what my heart was missing. Connection, and love in real-time.
This house had it’s season, and was meant to move out of.
I came across a picture of our porch, right after moving in.
6/2015
We had been in this house less than a year, when I found out I had Breast Cancer. My Breast Cancer journey was in 2016, so 2017 was a year of healing, growing, and discovering the woman Cancer left behind. I let go of a lot last year, which I will slowly write about, but there were some major heart-strings tied to this little country home.
This home was perfect for healing, and offered privacy.
Here is the last picture taken of that little house of healing.
11/29/2017
My daughter and I have moved away from country living.
We spent the month of December packing up everything except the Christmas tree. On January 2nd, we moved into our new house. It’s been a week now, and it feels like home.
Some days require a do-over. The dogs were up way too early. I hadn’t had enough coffee to deal with their playfulness. I let them get some of their energy out, and in their houses they went. It was that easy to find some peace.
I drove down to the corner store to grab a cup of coffee. Walking in, I notice a table full of people. They are usually there in the mornings, and this brought a smile to my face. We said our, “Good mornings”, as I took a look at their table.
There were no cell phones in sight. The newspaper was opened to the crossword puzzle, like it was a team effort to fill it in. They were laughing, talking, and enjoying time together.
As I was walking toward the door to exit, an elderly man walked in and said, “Good Morning Ms. Barbara.” I gave him a hug, and he grunted like I squeezed him too hard.
Getting into my truck, I spot two women on horses. They are prancing through the grass in front of the Post Office. I wished I had my phone to take a picture, but it was at home.
Once I returned home, I drank my coffee, and called a friend. We spent an hour talking, and making a game plan for the week. We are meeting tomorrow to implement some small changes in her life to regain her independence.
I let the dogs outside, and stood on the porch. It was almost time to drench the Boston Ferns. They are ginormous! Denver, one of our dogs, acted like he was listening intently to something. I could barely hear a woman’s voice, and then I heard two women talking. It was the women on horses!
They came to a halt, and turned the horses around, bringing them up to stand by my front yard gate. What a beautiful sight. They said, “Good Morning! We love your ferns. They are huge!” I smiled and thanked them for their kindness. They asked if I rode, and I told them, “Yes. I used to.” They said, “We have one more horse that needs a rider if you’re interested.” I laughed, thanked them, and will ponder it.
Life is happening right in front of us, and I am connected.
Everything you step out and do in life is practice.
It may not be a part of your plan, but by being willing to go forth, and just do, it will lead you onto the next thing.
I was reminded this week, I cannot help people unless they are ready for change. It’s healthy for me today to set that boundary, and step away. I cannot save souls by posting on Social Media. It may make them feel better for a moment, but that is just a band-aid for something that runs deeper.
God gave me an idea on Monday, so this is day 3 of praying, pondering, and asking questions. I’m gonna move forward with it and see what happens. It is something I’ve done before, and it’s normally successful, but even if it’s not hugely successful, it helps others, and causes me to become better.
The biggest thing God has prepared me for recently is, not having Internet since Saturday. A short time ago, I would have come unglued. Slowly becoming disenchanted with technology, and letting go of all that a phone can do, has brought me to this peaceful space. The Internet will be back, but it’s nice to know, I’ve been able to enjoy life without it.
I still drench the Boston Fernstwice a day. It is hot in Texas, and they hang outside. I would want to be drenched too.
Letting go is a continuous process. Before I brought home my first plant, I drank my own medicine, and posted this.
A lady commented, “If you don’t like what stays, you have a decision to make.” I let it all go, and chose what stayed.
I thought I was clearing my platter to make room for more. When I was actually clearing a space to make room for me.
There is an Asparagus Fern on the porch, that has been moved a dozen times. It didn’t look happy, or that it was getting everything it needed to thrive. Knowing they can take full sun, and shade, it was a challenge finding the right spot.
“I’m loving the metaphor of your plants as they bloom and grow. Your posts feel like fresh water to my dry roots xx”
Thanks to that comment, I knew where to move the Asparagus Fern. Where it would catch the overflow when I water the ferns hanging above it. Be around people who overflow goodness, and catch the overflow.
Letitgocoach 