Roots and Wings

My daughter is still at her Dad’s house, but she is packing to leave. Not to come home, but to fly to Missouri to attend a family wedding.

 

My daughter used to struggle getting out of the house in a timely manner. We both did! She was doing more than she needed, like making the bed, turning all the lights off, and checking for a lit candle.

Preparing the house, and herself, to leave.

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My daughter has been navigating airports since she was a toddler. Her father traveled for business, and we went with him, so she learned early. Today, at 17 years old, she can gracefully and confidently get through any airport. When we fly together, she’s responsible for getting us on the plane!

Yeah….I’m the one emptying my pockets, and pulling off my boots, trying to get through security.

Being her Mama, my heart swells thinking of her flying solo, in more ways one. You could say, our lives together over the past 4 years, has been preparation for today. It’s practice for ‘letting her go‘ gradually.

Sometimes, I’ll text her while she’s away from home and say, “Just yell if you need me!” She responds with, “I’ll always need you Mama.”

I’m not convinced but, ‘Roots and wings’ darling.

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My babe.

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Light the Fuses

I woke up this morning pondering how different my life is today, compared to a few years ago.

I believe we all have a beautiful life, filled with God’s goodness. Now, whether or not we can see it, is the question. I couldn’t see mine. The marriage I was in for 25 years, had taken a sharp turn after 15 years. I was sober. By taking the drink away, I was the real me.

Staying for 10 more years was a struggle between where I was, and where I knew I could be.

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Change your thinking and change your life.

I’ve listened to a lot of motivational CD’s over my lifetime. One day, some things I had heard over the years came to the forefront of my mind. Tony Robbins was one of them.

Tony said, “Get disturbed. You’re not going to stand it any longer. What disturbs you in your life? What are you going to do about it today?”

I wasn’t disturbed anymore, even though my life was very disturbing! We become complacent, like it’s okay to live with the hand we are dealt. Well, I’m here to tell you, it’s not okay. I pondered if this was the very best God had planned for me. Where was God?

He was there, watching and waiting.

This was not the life He had planned. This was the life I had created. Then Joyce Meyer’s words came to mind, right after Tony’s. I had heard on one of her CD’s, “Make a decision, so God can get in line and help you.” That was all I needed to hear. I needed to let my disturbing life actually disturb me, and make a decision.

Get disturbed, and make a decision.

I had stopped getting angry. My husband was so angry about everything, you could feel it a mile away. So, I stayed calm because anger fuels more anger. He was miserable too, but didn’t know how to fix it.

I did us both a favor the day I left even though he didn’t see it at first. Sometimes things fall apart completely, so they can fall back together.

I believe we both have a beautiful life today, even though we’re apart. When Tony asked, “What disturbs you in your life?”, it was my whole life. I had to blow it up, and start all over again. It felt like I had lost everything that made life worth living, but I was still standing there, so, what was it time to do?

Get disturbed, make a decision, and light the fuses.

Just Being Me

There is a reason it feels good to be loved when we are going through pain. That is why we go to a funeral home, to see the family of the deceased, to show them we care and help them through their loss.

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I love the way SC Lourie writes. It’s like her very soul breathes and forms words on paper. Plus, she begins each writing with the word, ‘darling’, in the opening line. Being from Texas, I find that to be sweet.

Do you ever feel accused of changing?

We do change, but I believe it’s a peeling process. God creates us to be whole and promises that we are enough. The outside world comes at us and our being can become hidden. Do we allow the world to change us, which is stealing our natural state of being, or do we continually look inside and release new parts of what was already there?

I believe love is very healing. No matter what has happened in our past, if we can come to terms with who we really are, and love ourselves, healing begins. To let go of every negative feeling and thought, and what other people think and say about us. To get to know your one true self and be good with sitting in your own skin.

I look back at this journey I began a couple of years ago, and it’s miraculous seeing the life I have today. It’s not what I did so much as what I gave up. Letting go of past hurts, peoples words and opinions of me.

If they’re talking about the person they once knew, I’m not her anymore. I was in there all along, but time, love and patience is bringing her out to bloom. I had to stop being what others wanted me to be, and just be me.

It’s All New

I have been through some storms in my life.

Learning to weather any storm, instead of trying to stop it was painful. My nature was to stop things from happening and keep the seas calm.

Walking on eggshells will make your feet sore.

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Being treated wrongly over the years comes in the form of a storm. Doing the next right thing is all I know to do. Forgiving comes easy for me, but forgetting takes time. The pain is similar to bricks, when placed together make a pretty sturdy wall. Not to lean against, but to be surrounded by.

This quote about the butterfly describes it well. They wrap themselves in a cocoon, like I would huddle close to God. God can get me through any storm, but it’s knowing when to fight, or seek shelter. Seeking God’s shelter versus fighting the fight myself yields richer results.

Letting go of hurt, and pain is not easy but it’s a must.

Otherwise, we are afraid to love and enjoy life again. It’s not fair for me to expect a new person to treat me like an old one. God will send people to help you through the storm and protect the cocoon. When the storm is over and we allow ourselves to step out, the beauty begins. We are better than before and life is beautiful again. Then we can love.

Bruised, not Broken

Almost a year ago I received my Letting Go Coaching Certification. This process can help anyone who desires quality of life.

We start by adopting the perspective of our nervous system. You see, the body knows how to be healthy. If you spent time each day resting, remaining calm and you led a peaceful life, your body would remain balanced and healthy. This is because the space of rest allows the body to express its most authentic inner energy, the power of homeostasis (inner balance).

Your nervous system makes decision on your behalf. If you put your hand on a hot stove, the information travels up your arm to the spinal cord. The spinal cord nerves process the information and sends a command to your arm to pull the hand back. All of this occurs without the brain. It is the nature of the spinal cord to make an immediate decision on your behalf, much faster than it registers in the brain.

Have you ever touched something hot, recoiled and wondered why you did that? Your brain is processing what your nervous system already knew.

Have you ever noticed a bruise on your body and wondered where it came from? The moment it happened, it was painful and the brain took assessment of the pain. Life is a lot like that. We take on the painful experience, assess and move on to the next thing. What happens to that painful experience? It leaves a bruise.

My goal as a Letting Go Coach is to fine tune your awareness of what the body is telling you in the moment.  Our bodies are designed to heal themselves given the proper care and attentiveness. Letting Go of past experiences allows the bruise to heal quickly and you will begin to realize, it was only a bruise. You are not broken.