Bailey being blessed, Flying Free, Letting Go

Letting Her Go

My daughter is still at her Dad’s house, but she is packing to leave. Not to come home, but to fly to Missouri to spend time with her boyfriend, his family, and attend a wedding.

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My daughter used to struggle getting out of the house in a timely manner. We both did! This Meme became our sage advice. The first time she heard,”Get your shit together!”, it was out of frustration. She was doing more than she needed, like making the bed, turning all the lights off, and checking for a lit candle. Preparing the house, and herself, to leave.

That was a skill she learned from her previous environment, but that was different. My home was still my haven, but leaving normally meant getting in the car with her father, or driving to meet him somewhere. That is another topic, but my reason for dawdling was to avoid more pain. When I was ready to leave one last time, she was ready to come with.

My shit was not together, but God has a better plan for us. (Jeremiah 29:11)

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My daughter has been navigating airports since she was a toddler. Her father traveled for business, and we went with him, so she learned early. Today, at 17 years old, she can gracefully and confidently get through any airport. When we fly together, she’s responsible for getting us on the plane!

Yeah….I’m the one emptying my pockets, and pulling off my boots, trying to get through security. She has already passed through, and is standing there hoping I don’t hurt myself, or others! Sometimes she gets sent through TSA Pre, and it used to make her feel guilty for leaving me. The airlines view her as low risk, or non threatening, but give her time!

Being her Mama, my heart swells thinking of her flying solo, in more ways one. You could say, our lives together over the past 4 years, has been preparation for today. It’s practice for ‘letting her go‘ gradually. Sometimes, I’ll text her while she’s away from home and say, “Just yell if you need me!” She responds with, “I’ll always need you Mama.” She’s sweet!

I’m not convinced but, ‘Roots and wings’ baby girl. Literally!

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My babe.

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Quality of life

How To Have A Beautiful Life

I woke up this morning pondering how different my life is today, compared to a few years ago. Why is it so beautiful now? Why was it so miserable before? Here is what came to mind.

I believe we all have a beautiful life, filled with God’s goodness. Now, whether or not we can see it, is the question. I couldn’t see mine. The marriage I was in for 25 years, had taken a sharp turn after 15 years. I was sober. By taking the drink away, I was able to unbecome. Staying for 10 more years was a struggle between where I was, and where I knew I could be.

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Many of you have asked about the book I am writing. This is what it will be about. How to have a beautiful life. It took me until I was 50 to figure this out, so hopefully, some of you younger readers can get a clue quick. You already have a beautiful life. It’s just covered up.

Change your thinking and change your life. I thought I was doing what I was supposed to be doing. Staying in a marriage for the sake of the children. Well…hello…When your kids know you are miserable, and watch you live in sadness, does that give them a spectacular life? No.

I’ve listened to a lot of motivational CD’s over my lifetime. One day, some things I had heard over the years came to the forefront of my mind. Tony Robbins was one of them.

Tony said, “Get disturbed. You’re not going to stand it any longer”

“What disturbs you in your life?”

“What are you going to do about it today?”

I wasn’t disturbed anymore, even though my life was very disturbing! We become complacent, like it’s okay to live with the hand we are dealt. Well, I’m here to tell you, it’s not okay. I pondered if this was the very best God had planned for me. Where was God?

Oh, He was there, watching and waiting. This was not the life He had planned. This was the life I had created. Then Joyce Meyer’s words came to mind, right after Tony’s. I had heard on one of her CD’s, “Make a decision, so God can get in line and help you.” That was all I needed to hear. I needed to let my disturbing life actually disturb me, and make a decision.

 

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A Beautiful Soul sent me this Meme this morning. Thank you Danielle. It reminded me of the book, and being willing to admit what I went through to uncover the beauty in my life. It wasn’t pretty, but digging through the mess allows space for the beauty to breakthrough.

Get disturbed, and make a decision.

I had stopped getting angry. My husband was so angry about everything, you could feel it a mile away. So, I stayed calm because anger fuels more anger. He was miserable too, but didn’t know how to fix it. I did us both a favor the day I left even though he didn’t see it at first. Sometimes things do have to fall apart completely, so they can fall back together.

I believe we both have a beautiful life today, even though we’re apart. When Tony asked, “What disturbs you in your life?”, it was my whole life. I had to blow it up, and start all over again. It felt like I had lost everything that made life worth living, but I was still standing there, so, what was it time to do? Get disturbed, make a decision, and light the fuses.

 

mescarf (135x240)Barbara is a God follower, a Writer, and Mom to her 17-year-old daughter. When she started this Blog in 2014 Letitgocoach was the name that stuck. She enjoys helping people Let Go of what is holding them back from having a beautiful life. Part of her mission is to show people they can start over at 50. Her life is beautiful, and an example of Letting Go and Letting God. You may connect with her via email. Letitgocoach@gmail.com

 

Letting Go, Love

It’s All New

I have been through some storms in my life. Learning to weather any storm, instead of trying to stop it was painful. My nature was to stop things from happening and keep the seas calm. Walking on eggshells will make your feet sore.

blogBeing treated wrongly over the years comes in the form of a storm. Doing the next right thing is all I know to do. Forgiving comes easy for me, but forgetting takes time. The pain is similar to bricks, when placed together make a pretty sturdy wall. Not to lean against, but to be surrounded by.

This quote about the butterfly describes it well. They wrap themselves in a cocoon, like I would huddle close to God. God can get me through any storm, but it’s knowing when to swing the machete, or seek the shelter. Seeking God’s shelter verses fighting the fight myself yields richer results.

Letting go of hurt, and pain is not easy but it’s a must. Otherwise, we are afraid to love and enjoy life again. It’s not fair for me to expect a new person to treat me like an old one. God will send people to help you through the storm and protect the cocoon. When the storm is over and we allow ourselves to step out, the beauty begins. We are better than before and life is beautiful again. Then we can love.

 

biopicBarbara is a writer and loves being a Mom to her 15 year old daughter. It’s a dream come true for her to be a Let It Go Coach and helping others enjoy their lives. She hosts Workshops, does one on one Coaching and is working on her first book.ย  You may connect with her via email. Letitgocoach@gmail.com