Tag: life after divorce

The Order Within

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Two days dedicated to feeding my soul.

My soul craves order. It’s when things aren’t in order around me I feel the order within slipping away. Every thing has it’s place, but I’ve relaxed this philosophy since my daughter isn’t here as often anymore. I used the hammer and level to hang an item on the wall, and instead of returning them to the tool caddy, I left them laying. Do this enough times and the house becomes out of order.

A month ago, I hung a hanging basket of Bougainvillea on each side of the front door. One morning I stepped outside onto the front porch and noticed dirt all over the left side of the porch. I didn’t think much about it and swept it away with the broom, but then it was there again the next morning. Same thing, different day. I looked at the hanging basket and it was missing half it’s dirt. There was a birds nest in place.

I moved the hanging basket out to the arbor, not to be tempted to disturb the making of the nest, but we still have the other one hanging by the front door. Earlier this week, I walked outside with my morning glass of water to dirt all over the other side of the front porch. Yes, there’s a birds nest being built inside the other hanging basket as well. It’s painful to recall how many garden centers I visited, and the weeks it took to find this color Bougainvillea in bloom to compliment the house.

Obviously there’s a couple of birds appreciative of my effort. From what I’ve seen so far is, if we’re living this life it’s going to get messy, but each day offers new opportunity to cultivate the order within.

Rejoice in what I’m doing in your life, even though it is beyond your understanding.

Jesus Calling ~ May 22

The Writing Robe

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I changed my WordPress theme again. My daughter was surprised to see a dark background, but it’s intriguing. What really snagged my interest is what it does to the photos. At first glance they look aged, similar to the old black and white, but hover your mouse, or finger over one and it refills with color.

It was cool in the house this morning, and I was thrilled to slide on my writing robe. Oh, I have lots of robes, but this one has been worn for years and well loved. It’s heavier than the other ones, but doesn’t weigh you down. The cooler temperatures in Texas are disappearing, so this was a treat.

I get most of my writing done in the morning while wearing this robe. Neighbors see me step outside to feed the birds, or walk to the mailbox to retrieve yesterday’s mail in pajama pants, house shoes, a t-shirt and the robe. A stranger may think I’m a meth head, but in my minds eye, I look like a Writer. Before they painted the house next-door, the builder came over and asked that I move my truck. It was a considerate ask, but I remember being disappointed that I had to put on real clothes and give up the robe.

You see, once it’s removed, I don’t put it back on that day.

It’s the same look every morning in the cooler months, but I recently realized I don’t have a writing robe for summer. I have a spa-like robe to use when stepping out of the shower, but it’s not a writing robe.

I began thinking of what feels good to wear in the warmer months, and I have this one jacket I could wear all day. It was designed by Honest Cotton for a friend of mine named Jordan, so it’s rightfully called, The Jordan Jacket. I bought mine last year while visiting with her, and it’s navy in color.

The Honest Cotton website shows they make a robe. I see two designed similarly, but different weights, so one’s for Fall, and the other for Spring. I wonder what it feels like to slip it on and if Jordan has one in her shop?

Let’s find out, shall we?

The Cotton Robe

To be continued…

PS. I’m not alone in my love for Robes. My friend LA, over at ‘Waking Up on the Wrong Side of 50‘, shares her love for robes that you can read by clicking here.

Eat the Frog

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I was perplexed by these three words displayed on my momentum plugin. It was early Sunday morning, and not enough coffee had been consumed, but I felt like I should know what this means.

Google and I had a conversation. Me: “Hey Google! What does eat the frog mean?” Google replies, “Eat that Frog technique delivers an important message that says if people wish to be successful in their lives, then they have to take immediate, and necessary actions without overthinking too much. According to Brian Tracy, Eat That Frog tactic should be implemented first thing in the morning.”

My momentum plugin needs to tell me that on Monday, not a Sunday. Up until this week, I was taking Monday’s off, but our Team has expanded. There’s a lot of activity in Basecamp on Monday’s and I tried to ignore it, but I can either be a part of it, or play catchup on Tuesday’s. I chose to be a Team player and be present on Monday’s. That way I can give immediate response to who needs what.

I’ll have a normal work week of Monday through Friday with Zen Habits! My other job will take a little bit of weekend time, but we’re going back to Self Care Sunday. Monday will be our designated day to eat the frog.

Feel the Music

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I was driving to meet my friend for our monthly coffee/tea, and heard this song. It was released in 2004, so around 2006 I heard it playing all the time. My mind began flipping through images and they weren’t all pretty, but I could see how far our life has come.

In 2008, I created an email address called abetterlife08. It was a Yahoo account and I named it that to keep those words in front of me while I worked. I can barely remember what happened two days ago, but I still remember sitting in the corner of that home office opening a Yahoo account and naming it abetterlife08. I was 10 years sober and life was better, but I didn’t recognize the man I was married to. When I think about that part of my life long enough, I can feel the tension that home office held.

In 2013 I exited that life.

Standing here in this little lake house 8 years later, I’m overwhelmed by God’s goodness and grace. Did it take 8 years Barb? No, I began seeing a better life the very first year, but it all began with believing there was one. Using that email address kept abetterlife at the forefront of my mind until the time was right to step into a better life.

These Two Chairs

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We have thought about buying a couch for as long as we’ve lived here.

I spent time cleaning over the weekend, and then did some rearranging of the den. As I was moving furniture around, I remembered the couch sitting here the first time we saw this house. It sat right underneath the window sill, and ran the length of the wall. Three years later, we still haven’t bought a couch. 😂

Sitting at the coffee table this morning, I looked across the table at her chair. It was empty. She is out, living her life, which I want her to do. She called and was excited about new tires for her Jeep. Her father took her tire shopping, and I sat and listened as she described every detail. That’s my girl excited about tires!

The main reason we haven’t bought a couch is these two chairs. They were designed and made around 15 years ago, for a formal living room which you can read about here. They are extra wide and the cushions are stuffed with down, so you can curl up and never leave. If we get a couch, they will have to go into storage, because neither of us can part with them.

These two chairs have held us up during every ‘love of my life’ breakup. They are wide enough to hold a box of tissues and a blanket. The fabric is formal, so I looked into having them recovered, and because they are so well made, the estimate started at $800 per chair. New fabric is not in their future.

Nowadays, her chair is empty more often than not, but I wouldn’t have it any other way. Through the years, the one place we always felt seen and supported is while sitting in these two chairs.

Live Like That

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I’m going through my Blog posts one by one.

I’ve been wanting to take time to do this for a while, and then I read a post over at Renards World, and he recommended it. His post entitled, 5 Reasons to Explore Your Archives is excellent. He suggested an app to assist, but I prefer to do it by hand.

The main reason I wanted to do this is because I knew there were a lot of missing photos. It’s not pretty to look at a post with a photo missing. It leaves a big gap in the post, and an ‘X’, similar to a broken link. The irony is, I did this to the posts myself without realizing it. When you clean up your media, every photo deleted is also removed from the post, but it leaves it’s an ‘X’ where the photo once was.

This morning, I came across this post from January 2016. The title of the post reminded me of a song entitled, Live Like That. I’ve noticed some interesting things reading each post, and haven’t deleted hardly any.

I’m not rewriting them either.

Those early posts from 2014 through 2016, are a part of who I am today. There is one common theme in every post I’ve read, and it’s God. Re-reading them confirmed how I choose to live this life.

I want to continue to live like that.