Journey to the Heart

priorities1

Stop Feeling Guilty

Yesterday, I slept for a solid 15 hours.

When I fell asleep it was daylight, and when I awoke it was daylight. There are no regrets.

My body was tired, and today it feels more human.

When deciding what to wear for the day, I chose a t-shirt that says, “100% Human”, on the little front pocket, just as a mental note of what I need to be.

I yearned for simple pleasures today. I wanted to wash my clothes in perfume, but my bottle of Nu Wash was empty. The hardware store I went.

Being away from home for several days, there was not much food in the house, but I opted for the grocery store next to the hardware store. Simply stocked with less distractions and minimal driving.

My initial thought was the frozen organic food section for something to pop in the oven. Something pre-made, but I don’t do a lot of pre-made food. If it has more than 5 ingredients listed, I need to recognize every ingredient. I’m just weird that way.

As an example, I bought some pasta, and saw a container of Alfredo sauce. It was a good brand, but had chemicals listed. Butter, flour, cream and Parmesan equal cream sauce, and I had everything at home but the cream, so I bought some cream.

Standing in the checkout of the store, there was a conversation going on between cashier and customer. The customer was buying a reusable K-Cup. She was telling the cashier it would save her money on coffee. The cashier told her a bag of coffee would last him a year. I was having trouble comprehending this conversation, and felt guilty.

Save money on coffee? Out of all the things you can save money on you’re going to choose coffee?

tyler-nix-403141-unsplash
Photo by Tyler Nix on Unsplash

It would probably shock you to know how much I spend on a bag of coffee, but seeing the picture above become reality at a moments notice is priceless. I don’t own a TV, or have a cable bill.

I’d rather have good coffee, and perfumed clothes.

Love me, love my coffee, or in the least don’t object.

Stop feeling guilty for living a life worth living.

Do What You Truly Want to Do

I am honored to receive another Sunshine Blogger Award within the same week. Thank you Pascales Healing Journey for the lovely nomination.

Her questions are thought provoking, so I wanted to share. If you have won an award, and cannot think of appropriate questions, maybe these will help. I’ve been pondering the first question for over a week.

  • Are you doing what you truly want to do?
  • Do you have a dream to follow?
  • Are you proud of what you’re doing or what you’ve done?
  • What’s the one thing you really want to do but have never done so, and why?
  • Have you ever abandoned a creative idea that you believed because others thought you were a fool?
  • Is there anything you can’t let go of, but you know you should?
  • Is there anyone who inspired you and made you who you are today?
  • What’s the thing you’re most satisfied with?
  • When was the last time you laughed and what did you laugh at?
  • Are you doing anything which makes you and people around you happy?
  • If happiness is a currency, how rich do you think you are?

They are all good questions, but that first one really got me. At first, I looked at the overall scope of my life. Life is a beautiful journey, but there is always room for improvement. I find this question works best applying it minute by minute, hourly, or daily.

Are you doing what you truly want to do?

If not, we have the power to change it at any moment. Maybe you have a job you don’t particularly like, but it brings in income, which is a good tool to have. I have two jobs that are not ideal, but I can work them while practicing this dream.

The hours are flexible, and I get to work from home.

Time is my most valued commodity, and my jobs don’t take a lot of time or energy. What I really want to do is write, and become better at it each day. It takes time to find your voice, and I feel I’m getting close.

Our voice evolves with every click of publish.

I hope you enjoy the list of questions.

May you find yourself doing what you truly want to do.

Stand in the Rain

Why does everything look better after the rain?

This evening, I sat down on the step outside, and looked over at a plant. This plant has struggled and was nearly dead. I had set it aside, not knowing what to do. It hasn’t looked happy in a long time. Then, it sat in the rain. Now it’s unrecognizable. I wasn’t sure it was the same plant.

plant
It’s alive and thriving.

Maybe we don’t need as much attention as we think we do.

Next time it rains, I want to stand in the rain.

My Kinda Midlife

I was spending way too much time sitting at my desk.

Now, I’m pondering selling my desk. What changed? I did.

begin

Today, I attended a class about Ayurveda. Yesterday, I attended an ‘Adult Children of Alcoholics‘ meeting, and Saturday I’m learning how to make a smudge stick.

How did I get to where I am today? I began months ago.

Since moving out of the country, and into civilization, there are endless opportunities to plug-in. I saw signs that God had me right where He wanted me, but oh, this little prayer!

“”What do I want to do?’ can be, “Dear God, what would you have me do?”

One thing leads to another. One conversation with the right person leads to another conversation with another person.

Stepping away from social media has me stepping out of my house each day.

This is my kinda midlife. Marianne Williamson writes,

“At midlife, you suddenly see an endgame where you used to see an endless stretch. You know now on a visceral level that this lifetime will not go on forever. There’s no more time for five-year detours. No more time for getting it wrong. No more time for relationships that don’t serve, or for staying in situations that aren’t authentically you.”

How do you want to spend the rest of your life?

(Feel free to respond in the comment section below)

We Always Do

Today is one of those days you just go with the flow of the day itself. My daughter came home yesterday, and will leave tomorrow. She has a busy couple of weeks ahead, thanks to her father, but the last thing I told her lastnight was…

We will get through it. We always do.

bay91315
One of my faves taken 9/19/2015. 

Feel the Music

In four more days, she will be 18. My darling daughter.

I’ve always thought of her as older, and wise beyond her years. It was 5 years ago that we ventured out on our own. What a brave little girl, to leave everything she knew, for the unknown. I hope she always leaves her comfort zone.

Do we give up a chunk of our lives for our children?

My daughter and I have shared our lives. She has watched her Mama grow up, just as I have watched her. She has big wings, but they are still developing. I believe this year has been the year of finding myself, so I am ready when she flies. I don’t worry about her, so she shouldn’t worry about me. When she sees me stepping off the path she says,

Is this what you gave up a 25 year marriage for?

We take care of one another, and this song makes us cry. My darling daughter, you are my life, but you have also given me yours. May we fly in sequence, but always find our way home.