Tag: #livinglifetogether

Two of Everything

· Leave a comment ·

When my daughter and I first began living this life together, you could look around and see two of everything. The house has two bedrooms. There’s two overstuffed chairs in the den. Two blankets on a nearby shelf readily available.

We created a life for two.

built

It’s time to open my heart for more.

I have these two bowls. They each have a plate that matches and I bought them years ago.

While shopping, I pay attention to other bowls that might match. The shape is so hard to find. They are shallow and wide. I wasn’t overly focused on the color, as long as they complimented one another. Then it happened. Strolling by a shelf full of bowls, that color caught my eye.

There was only one on the shelf.

bowls

My daughter and I always use place-mats, cloth napkins and real dinnerware. We set the table for every meal, but maybe that’s not normal for most. What’s normal to us may look like a lot effort to others.

Today my darlings, if you set down at our table and see a bowl that fits, but doesn’t quite match…that’s the extra effort. I’m adding to the two of everything.

Advertisement

It’s Been Fun

· 5 Comments ·

A little role reversal occurs as they get older. My daughter said, “I want you to eat this weekend and that doesn’t mean only coffee.” 🙂

This morning, my daughter and I were laughing at some of our moments over the past six years. She has quotes from me stored in her phone. What’s even worse is she also has videos. Both are hilarious, but that’s been our life. 

We laugh so hard we cry!

Today, I was looking at my memories on Facebook. The pictures from 2013-2015 were so blurry. It was the beginning of our life alone together and I didn’t know then what I know now. Life was blurry and so were my pictures.

sunrisemcdade

It’s crazy what we went through while living in that house, but that’s what we were laughing about this morning. We’ve learned and don’t want to go through any of that again.

A life with no regrets can look and sound rather crazy, but it’s been worth it.

When we stopped laughing, I asked her, “Are you going to be able to use any of this?” She was happy we were referring to the past and said, “Nope, but it’s been fun.”

starbucks
No regrets.

That’s True Love

· 2 Comments ·

My daughter will be gone most of the day. She makes a Chemex, because she has it down to a science, whereas I do not. I sit in the den anticipating that magical cup of brew.

This morning she did something so special. She has this coffee cup she knows I love. It’s just the right size, and I use it when she’s not here.  When she is here, she usually uses the cup, but not this morning.

coffee2
Blue bottle coffee cup.

She sat the cup on my side of the table.

This was a special moment to receive this cup from her. It was a small gesture, and maybe to some go unnoticed.

The smallest of things create magical moments.

While she is out and about adulting, I began thinking what I could do for her. We have this inside joke now that she is almost 20 years old. I tell her she doesn’t need me nearly as much as she thinks she does, but there is this one thing she loves for me to do. Wash her sheets in perfume wash.

She’s jokingly asked if I will come and change her sheets the rest of my life. Well darling, maybe not every week, but when time allows, I will do that. It was 32 degrees this morning, so her favorite flannel sheets are being washed in perfume for her bed.

For me, it was getting to use her cup in her presence, but for her it will be these sheets.

That’s true love.

Healing in Hugs

· 3 Comments ·

I saved the last cookie for my daughter. She broke it in half, and brought half over to me. This is how we live our life.

We are sitting at the table together. She is doing school while I write. There is a difference between living together, and being present. When I stepped away from Social Media, I realized we didn’t hug each other as much as we once did. It was time for that to change. There is healing in hugs.

Some of my favorite daily activities now include, sitting at the counter of my favorite coffee shop, and being present for the person working behind the counter. To walk into one of the shops downtown, and hug the owner for no reason than they’re there another day. People in town wave when they see my truck. How many of those waves were missed?

I freely give my laugh, a listening ear, a smile, and hugs.

My daughter is finding her way through life, and the only thing I have done different is to be present, and give hugs.

It was awkward at first for me to just walk up and hug her, so to lighten it up, I counted. I’d hug her and say, “There’s one.” In my mind there was a minimum of three a day.

She is almost as tall as me now, but it’s still a hug, and it heals.

 

Hopes and Dreams

· Leave a comment ·

Hopes and dreams. Otherwise, our lives merely exist.

hopesanddreams

This photo popped up on my Facebook news-feed.

My heart ran as fast as it could into that photo! My life is simple, so skip the fancy couch. A Yoga mat, or pillow will do just fine. The view is what made filled my heart and soul.

To live by the sea is a ‘hope and dream’ of mine.

lifeat40

God gives revelation in yearly increments.

Once 30 years had passed, I knew my life would change. At the age of 35, my daughter was born, and by 40, my marriage was an unhealthy space for everyone involved. After trying to make it work for 8 more years, God opened a door for us to leave. At 48, my daughter and I began our new life together, with God.

Seeing this quote by Jung stirred up memories. My life continues to change, but is it my life changing, or my soul?  My soul is awake as well. ‘Hope’, is what keeps us here, but ‘Dreams’ are where the soul roams.

Save

Which Way Home

· 1 Comment ·

I started writing a Blog lastnight, but again didn’t publish it. With this 30 day challenge, I’m learning I can write anytime of day. Mama always said, “Nothing good happens after midnight.” Well, in my mind there is nothing publish worthy after 9:00 pm.

This is what’s happening in real-time. I’m sitting at the dining room table at Smith’s house, listening to my favorite CD, drinking coffee from a red mug, and looking out the sliding glass doors at the lake. It rained lastnight, and brought in fog, so the lake is not visible yet. I know the lake is there, but I cannot physically see it yet.

This reminds me of this path of life we’re on. We know we have one, but we can only see so far ahead. God gives us just enough light for the step we’re on. We take a step, and there is more light, but just enough for that step. Sitting here this morning, I wish to see more steps.

img_20170116_090018

You can see how bright the light is over the lake. The sun is trying to burn away the fog, and restore a visual of what’s there. God is in that ball of fire. He wants us to trust Him even when we cannot see very far ahead. To enjoy the present moment, but keep stepping.

Some ducks swam across the lake, as I made more coffee, and ate a piece of chocolate covered caramel. It would seem I’m on a path with many detours, but they all lead back to my  heart. During the week I am in my little farmhouse, sharing a life with my daughter.

The weekends, I’m usually at the lake with Smith. He is a Chef, and normally has to work on Saturday’s. He’s at work right now, and there is a void where his presence is absent. If he was here, I can see him sitting on the couch trying to find some football on TV. My laptop and I would move to another room and continue writing in a more serene space.

He would come and find me periodically, and make himself known. I can feel him walk into the room, and he may touch me, but he wouldn’t disturb my writing. He enjoys that I write, and encourages me with that. He also tolerates being the subject from time to time.

The sun is becoming brighter as I finish up this Blog. It will be time to start repacking my things, load up my truck, and head to Radiation. Today will be #22 out of 30 treatments.

I was tempted to call and cancel today’s appointment, but that would just prolong the inevitable. Once Radiation is complete, I will have more options. My daughter is staying with her Dad until tomorrow, so it’s very tempting to stay one more day here at the lake.

I used to know where home is. Over time of driving back and forth, I’m not really sure anymore which house is home. For some time now, when I return to the little farmhouse, and walk inside, it feels like a house. My daughter gets there, and it feels more like home, but there is still a void. I find myself each day looking forward to going back to the lake.

Smith is the most patient man I have ever met. He has been waiting for me to decide when to bring all these paths together as one big path, and the three of us to live this life together. Home is where your heart is, and today it’s in this lake house, but getting ready to leave once again. I believe it’s time for me and my heart to decide, which way is home.

 

There’s Always More

· Leave a comment ·

holmes-living-room

I was reading a lady’s Blog this morning, and the pictures were of her house at Christmas. She had gone all Martha with the decor, and it was absolutely beautiful. It reminded me of my Martha Stewart days, and my formal dining room looked much the same way. I recalled the year I had to learn how to tie cloth napkins to resemble a swan, and rest them on each plate.

The photo you see above, was our living room, after moving to Texas 15 years ago. It doesn’t seem like it’s been that long that we had this room designed specifically for this house. Each piece was painstakingly made, and bought for this room. The only pieces I have today from this room, are the two purple chairs. The rest stayed when I left, and I really don’t miss it.

It’s beautiful to look at, but do you know, we rarely sat in that room. This is the type room, that my mother would have covered the furniture with laminate. I walked through the room many a time, because it was a shortcut to my office. I walked through it so much that the hand woven wool rug started to wrinkle. That rug cost more than the truck I drive now.

cannon-rebelsl1-054

This photo is where my daughter and I moved to when we left. The little house on 40 acres.

God had taken me from a 4,000 square foot house, to this 700 square foot one, but not all at once. We downsized over time, and I can safely say, we live in every square foot. The round table is from the first photo, along with the purple chairs. I also still have the fringed, silk pillows, but they’ve been replaced by these burlap ones.

I was thinking lastnight that my daughter was too young to remember all the grandeur. We have simplified our lives so much, I wondered if she realizes there IS more. I believe she does, and I know she remembers the house from the first photo, but does she know she can have more?

img_20160809_083621317_hdr

This photo is our current dwelling, a remodeled 1940’s farm house, nestled on 5 acres. We grew to 1,000 square feet, and love every nook and cranny. Look at the shine of the wood floor! As you can see, we still have the purple chairs, and round table, and we spend a lot of time in those chairs. Well made furniture lasts for years.

Those purple chairs have held many a conversation. They have been slept in, and cried on.

I had my daughter late in life. She was a gift from God once I got sober. She hasn’t seen the driven woman building a successful business. She hasn’t seen me wanting for more. She has seen a happy Mother who loves to write. I had all the success I could handle before she was 5 years old, but exchanged it for a simple life, and to spend time with her.

Will she keep a simple life as she grows older, or will she have a lot more? I asked her and she said, “I may have a bigger house, depending on how many kids I have, but it will be minimalistic, furnished with only the things I love.” I said, “Like we did here?”, and she agreed. My choices for us have paid off, but I suppose if we want it, there’s always more.