Tag: #longdistancerelationships

To Be Missed

My daughter’s boyfriend is from Missouri. They spent 7 days together over Christmas break. She drove him to the airport yesterday, and returned home with a tear stained face.

They have maintained this long distance relationship for 15 months. He is 19, and she is 17, but they are mature for their ages. I’m encouraging her to write about how they do this.

 

When she came home yesterday evening, I just gave her some space. She cried some more, and I took her tissues. I wanted her to cry and much as she needed, and to feel what was going on. Missing someone is a painful experience, but I would rather have someone to miss than to not. I told her, “It’s good that you miss him. I would be worried if you didn’t.”

Thanks to the almighty airline miles, they get to see one another often. Maybe not as much as they would like, but I believe they are blessed. Once every two, or three months, they reconnect face to face. Their love for one another comes easily, and is refreshing to watch.

I believe that is the way it should be. Love should come easily.

I know people that will have a hard time receiving love because of their idea of how they should be loved. What if you let go of those ideas, and just allowed yourself to be loved? I believe you would be pleasantly surprised how simple it is. This doesn’t mean downsizing your values, but you may need to let go of some expectations on what love should look like.

Ephesians 4:2 says, “Be completely humble, and gentle; be patient, bearing with one another in love.” I have found this to be true. Humble, gentle, patient and bearing.

My daughter will see her guy again soon. In the meantime, they will live their lives to the best of their ability, but keep a space in their hearts for one another. It’s good to be missed.

Show Me Love

My daughter and I an amazing relationship.

She is my very best friend, and my hero. She just celebrated her one year anniversary, dating a guy that lives in Missouri. I’ve been sitting here pondering how she at 17, can have a better relationship than most adults.

Some things I see them do is they accept one another for who they are. Flaws and all. They also communicate constantly. If something is bothering her, no matter how trivial, she tells him, and they talk it through.

They have their own lives, but they make one another a priority in it. Her philosophy is, “Treat him the way I want to be treated in return.”

That has worked for us for years. My daughter and I never fight, and have not even raised our voices to one another. We treat one another the way we want to be treated. Children copy what they see. When the time came to leave her father, one of my reasons was, I didn’t want her to grow up and think what she saw was a healthy marriage.

I wanted her to see love.

They give true meaning to the word ‘relationship.’ It’s a work in progress. They are grounded within themselves, so they don’t look to one another for completion. They enjoy their lives, but being together makes life that much sweeter. Watching what they have is like seeing everything love is.

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In this pic, she is super made up. She is a natural beauty, and doesn’t need all this makeup, but it was prom, and they sent me this silly moment. They tried to make me feel included.

This boy is coming to visit on Wednesday. He has never visited us, so this is exciting! All those airline miles her father and I collected over the years came in handy. Her father has flown with her to see him once every 90 days. They are going to ACL is Austin, TX which is exciting enough, but the anticipation of seeing each other face to face is pretty intense.

She is beyond excited, and has it all planned. She is picking him up from the airport, and has an itinerary planned for each day he is here. She wants to show him the best in Texas, but what she may not know is, he’s going to be ecstatic just seeing her.

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Maybe you are reading this and thinking, “Oh, young love.” I am writing this and thinking, I want what they have. It can be like this at any age. When you love someone they should be an intimate part of your life, even if you’re not together. They call to hear one another’s voice, and rarely text. They write letters and mail them to each other.

Will they last? Only God knows that because He has her life planned. Even if they don’t, to be able to have such an amazing relationship at such a young age. What a gift! She has told me before, “I live in amazement of your daily life.”

Well my darling daughter, I get to live in amazement of you in yours. May God continue to bless you in all you do, and in who you love.

Just Be Patient

I just pressed my third cup of coffee out of the Keurig, so you would think I would be feeling energized. It used to help wake me up, and give me a jolt in the mornings. Not so much anymore, so maybe it’s time for a change. I have stopped ‘doing’, and begun ‘letting’.

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I read an article this morning on having no expectations.

This one started out like most, but then it got my attention. Instead of expecting certain things out of life, the one you love, or yourself for that matter…Take the limits off God. I lay all my petitions before Him, so He knows my heart and desired outcome, but then I leave it there. I never know what to expect.

This opens up endless opportunity. As far as relationships go, here are a few things I’ve learned.

1. He Loves Me, But Should Love Himself First.

Does your partner take good care of themselves? The care they take of themselves, will be a reflection of how well they care for you. There should be a healthy balance of self care, and loving you.

2. His Love For Me.

This is where I had to lay all expectations aside. You have heard the saying, “Stop breaking your own heart?” That is what occurs when I expect to be loved at a certain level. Everyone loves differently, and we cannot compare past loves to the present. Those were stepping stones to prepare us for this. It’s not about lowering our expectations. It’s about being open to different.

3. He Encourages My Ideas and Creativity.

If anyone ever tells you, “That’s a stupid idea,” or better yet, “You are stupid.” you will need to hit them with a pipe. Creative ideas sound rather far fetched at first, but it’s that initial seed we plant. Saying it out loud to someone we trust, and value the opinion of, gets the ball rolling. You are not stupid….You are creative and open-minded. Stay that way.

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4. Let Them Love You.

This is where the expectations of your mind can get in the way. Allowing someone to love you the best way they know how, should be enough. Isaiah 55:8 says, “For My thoughts are not your thoughts, and My ways are not your ways.” That’s encouraging to me.

5. Let It Be Easy.

I love seeing posts from my friends, announcing 30 or so years of being married, and exclaiming, “Fight for your marriage.” There should be no fighting. If you each are doing the next right thing, making good choices for the greater good, it should flow. Yes, life will come at you with a vengeance and try to destroy what’s good, but there’s a choice.

When one is weak, the other is strong.

That’s just how it works. You hold one another up during the rough times. They always pass, and should make you better because of it. Be with someone that brings out the very best in you, and nudges you to become better.

Get good at waiting on God. He heard you, just be patient.