To Be Embraced

I’m sitting in the middle of my bed.

It’s my favorite spot. My total Zen.

I woke up early, but tried being quiet. Tiptoeing to the kitchen to make a french press of coffee, I closed my daughters bedroom door to let her sleep in.

bedroom-comfy-girl-mac

I came back to bed with coffee to read my new devotional. The sun is streaming through the windows lighting the room. You could hear a pin drop, it’s that still and quiet.

Are you comfortable sitting in stillness?

Do you allow your life to become quiet?

A Tale of Yesterday

Yesterday, my daughter and I went to Target. One of her favorite bands came out with a new CD, and this particular store had dibs on it’s new release.

We walked into the store and headed straight back to the electronics section. Once she found the shelf of the new releases, her heart sank. The shelf was empty. I looked at the small, empty space where the CD’s once stood, and it didn’t make sense for them to be gone. The space was so small for a band this big.

the-1975-a-brief-inquiry-into-online-relationships-stream
the-1975-a-brief-inquiry-into-online-relationships.

They seemed to have plenty of people working, so I made eye contact with a young man behind the counter. He walked over and I inquired about the empty shelf. My guess was they hadn’t noticed it being empty, and probably had a stockpile of the new CD’s in the back. He walked away to find out.

My daughter was probably holding her breath while the salesman was gone, but I decided to walk around and enjoy my surroundings. I found myself staring at a wall of books. It’s good as a writer to see what is popular. Then, I saw it. This one book….

Be Still. There is More.

How are you with waiting?

We could have just left the store when we saw the empty shelf, but I wanted my daughter to see me ask for help. To dig deeper into the situation.

We live in a microwave based world. Technology has conditioned us to want what we want and receive it immediately.

I’m completely guilty of downloading books to my Kindle. It’s fast and easy. The eBook is saturating our world. Will technology replace holding a real book in our hands? Will bookstores become extinct?

The book that caught my gaze while waiting for the salesman, was a recommendation by Kindle months ago. I didn’t download it, and then forgot about it. It was one of those books that needed to be held.

embraced

Thank you for your time.

The salesman returned holding a CD.

I was so excited holding the book, and seeing he had the CD, I jumped up and gave him a huge embrace! I shouted, “I love you”!, not expecting a response.

But you know what? He shouted, “I love you!” back. My heart was full seeing God move in Target.

Thank you for spending your time here with me today. My hope is you feel fully embraced.

Call Me Katniss

I want to share a Blog with you.

I’ve followed this woman for years, and she has no idea the impact she’s had on my life. I found her during my Breast Cancer Journey, but she was ahead of me. Reading her posts gave me an idea of what to expect. Then, she just sopped writing.

She took a two year break.

She returned this year, and so did Cancer.

Her post this morning revealed her hair falling out from the Chemo. That is a feeling that doesn’t leave. You wake up to a pillow covered in hair, and head straight to the shower, but then the water hits your head, and the hair continues falling out, clinging to your dampened skin like plastic wrap.

It’s horrendous! The shower doesn’t wash it away!

I feel like she needs some love today.

I don’t think she’s ever responded to my comments, so don’t be offended if your comment receives no reply. She doesn’t have many followers, but her writing is wrapped in beauty. Let’s take a moment, and wrap our virtual arms around Call Me Katniss.

PS. You can also click here to view her Blog.

Feel the Music

In the past four years, I’ve had the pleasure of loving two men. I don’t talk about it much, but love has been on my mind this weekend, as you can see from yesterday’s post.

Social media teaches us it’s all about the numbers. Once I realized that, it was a sad day seeing numbers, instead of souls. All of my accounts are now closed except for one.

When I began this Blog it was for a couple of reasons.

One-I wanted my daughter to have a place to go, and read about our life together. Two-I wanted to change somebody’s perspective on life. Not the world, just one.

There is a comment sitting in my comment folder that I will not publish, but this Blog changed her world. There is an email sitting in my Inbox from the son of a dear friend. He found this Blog, and was impacted when I wrote about her.

Hearing this song made me think of those men. It was love that changed their world, and loving them changed mine.

I love to love. That’s what I do. One Blog post at a time.

A Good Problem

Blogging is like having a public journal.

Blogging has worked, because I kept misplacing journals whenever we moved. Writing publicly is healing, and can help others heal, so yes, it’s like letting everyone read your journal. I am behind, so let’s take some time to catch up.

I promised a friend I would write about this, so here it is E!

In August, I read a book by Melodie Beattie entitled, Make Miracles in Forty Days. You may be aware, I’m a huge Melody fan, and treasure all her books, but this one intrigued me. I believe in miracles, and believe I’m a walking miracle, so I read the book, and did what she said.

At first glance it seemed like another gratitude list exercise, but there’s a twist! You write what you’re grateful for, but you also write what you’re NOT grateful for.

On August 26th my writing began. At first it was habitual to list everything I was grateful for. Referring back to the book, I learned how to phrase things that were bothering me. Here are a few examples, along with their outcome.

You begin by writing, “I am grateful today that…”

My doctor wants to see me, even though I don’t know why. (The miracle is they were not alarmed by my mammogram and agreed to see me In Six Months)

dontsettle

I have a dependable job, and get to work from home, even though I would like to make more money. (I was offered a new job)

I love my home, but would like for my daughter to live closer to town, her friends, and her father. (We are moving into a new home, near the lake, January 1st) I love the lake.

You get the idea. I’m grateful for a beautiful life, and this exercise helped open my heart, and mind for changes that needed to be made. The journaling continued longer than 40 days, because I still do it today. You can also do this with a friend via email. To just stay grateful, and let God work.

I told a friend, “I don’t know how many more of God’s blessings I can take!

That is a good problem to have.

The Sad Shelf

When my daughter and I go to a garden center, we take a look at the sad shelf. This is the shelf of plants, drastically reduced in price from over-watering. They all look sad.

Maybe that is why I started caring for plants. If I could care for them properly, and give them a healthy environment, then I could do the same for me. The plants and I are growing.

The people traveling with us on our journey should add to our happiness. If we are not surrounded by happiness, it’s time to take a look at the people we allowed onto our path.

paula

 

There is a role for everyone we meet, but how healthy are they? How well they care for themselves, is how well they care for you. The sad shelf is not a pretty place to be.

Things I Love (Thanks to Chemo)

God knows when to talk with me. It’s either in the shower, or while vacuuming. Both are a mindless movement where He can get my undivided attention. Hence, the title of this Blog.

Taking a shower, and relishing in the fact they’re so quick now. I hop in, lather up, rinse, and step out. Ten minutes max, depending if I take time to stand there under the rain head.

I will save a small fortune on shampoo, and hair products, during Chemo. There is less to pack to go away for a weekend. The hairdryer alone, took up a lot of space. Not to mention, all the hair products, and a ginormous can of hairspray. The same amount of time it took to style my hair, is now used more productively. Like getting out the door on time, or earlier.

control

The first week of Chemo, I dropped 10 pounds. What girl wouldn’t love that!

Years ago, I drove to Austin, TX once a week for 6 weeks, for laser on my chin. Standing in front of a mirror every morning, plucking the chin hairs out of my chin, was not my idea of fun. Genetics in action. I was advised to shave the area, just like a man would, and come in for laser. It worked for a while, and then they switched machines, and it stopped working.

I just kept shaving my chin, up until a week ago. No more chin hair! Love that!

I hardly have to shave anywhere now, and I am loving that. Sliding into a pair of shorts, at a moments notice is now awesome. Don’t haveta check my legs for hair because there is none. This might actually get me somewhat excited for swimsuit season. I’m digging it.

FB_IMG_1462701081417

No matter what life brings Beauties, it’s how we see it that matters most. Look for the unseen, and strengthen your Faith. God will use it, but be warned, Satan will too!

Look for the good in everything. Some days are easier than others, but that’s when God sends people into your path. Following this Breast Cancer Journey, has brought so many amazing people into my life. Like never before! I feel loved, and I get to love them back!

I still feel a little awkward when I see people today, that saw me a month ago with a head full of hair. The best response to date was from a vendor at The Farmer’s Market on Saturday. He looked at me and said, “Is everything okay with you health-wise? Because the last time I saw you…you had hair.” I appreciated his candor. His mother died from this.

My hairdresser/friend that shaved my head twice, didn’t charge me anything. I told her, “God is going to bless you for all the good you do for others.” She said, “I don’t even haveta look for the blessings anymore. They’re just there.” This is where I am, and have always wanted to be. I love that.

mescarf (135x240)Barbara is a Writer, Certified Letting Go Coach, and Mom to her 16-year-old daughter. She loves dipping cookies in her coffee in the morning and has a pretty healthy obsession for chocolate. When she started this Blog in 2014 Letitgocoach was what stuck. She enjoys helping people Let Go of what is holding them back from having a beautiful life. Her life today is an example of Letting Go and Letting God. You may connect with her via email. Letitgocoach@gmail.com

 

 

Just Be Brave

I have not thought of myself as brave. I can be a Badass, but that occurs when  something, or someone pushes me too far. My daughters says, ‘At that point, you better run.’

blog1I have just enough redneck in me to be scary. People are calling me brave for this Breast Cancer Journey I’m on.

The ones that are brave, are the ones that went before me, and shared their story. This lights my path, and helps ease my fear of the unknown. Those women are Badasses.

Fear is of the devil himself. His goal is to kill, steal, and destroy. He is such a coward, and you will notice this, if you look at when he attacks. It’s in the timing of it all.  While we sleep, and right before we wake up is my fave.

 

me (135x240)No matter what you’re going through, you are not alone. Another tactic of the devil, is to keep you in solitude. Put that stinkin’ devil under your feet! I knew God wanted me to share this journey, but at first I was afraid. I’m more afraid of being disobedient to God than anything else.

Surround yourself with people who will love you through it. Mr. Smith shaved my hair down to almost the skin this weekend. It was falling out anyways, but it took time and patience from a good man, to get me there. He is a chef, so he tied a bandana to resemble a Chef’s cap.

Be brave Beauties, and unleash the Badass in you. To feel truly alive, you must live.

P.S. Another fear of mine was the port for Chemo. You can see the stitches in this pic. I love wearing tank tops when it’s warm, but there again, the shame. My daughter said, “Own that tank top Mama! You look like you got into a bar fight, got stabbed in the chest, and won!” Haha Let people believe in you, until you can believe in yourself. I believe in you.

Barbara is a Writer, Certified Letting Go Coach, and Mom to her 16-year-old daughter. She loves dipping cookies in her coffee in the morning and has a pretty healthy obsession for chocolate. When she started this Blog in 2014 Letitgocoach was what stuck. She enjoys helping people Let Go of what is holding them back from having a beautiful life. Her life today is an example of Letting Go and Letting God. You may connect with her via email. Letitgocoach@gmail.com