A Better Life, Letting Go, Moving On

The Sad Shelf

When my daughter and I go to a garden center, we take a look at the sad shelf. This is the shelf of plants, drastically reduced in price from over-watering. They all look sad.

Maybe that is why I started caring for plants. If I could care for them properly, and give them a healthy environment, then I could do the same for me. The plants and I are growing.

The people traveling with us on our journey should add to our happiness. If we are not surrounded by happiness, it’s time to take a look at the people we allowed onto our path.

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There is a role for everyone we meet, but how healthy are they? How well they care for themselves, is how well they care for you. The sad shelf is not a pretty place to be.

Breast Cancer Journey

Things I Love (Thanks to Chemo)

God knows when to talk with me. It’s either in the shower, or while vacuuming. Both are a mindless movement where He can get my undivided attention. Hence, the title of this Blog.

Taking a shower, and relishing in the fact they’re so quick now. I hop in, lather up, rinse, and step out. Ten minutes max, depending if I take time to stand there under the rain head.

I will save a small fortune on shampoo, and hair products, during Chemo. There is less to pack to go away for a weekend. The hairdryer alone, took up a lot of space. Not to mention, all the hair products, and a ginormous can of hairspray. The same amount of time it took to style my hair, is now used more productively. Like getting out the door on time, or earlier.

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The first week of Chemo, I dropped 10 pounds. What girl wouldn’t love that!

Years ago, I drove to Austin, TX once a week for 6 weeks, for laser on my chin. Standing in front of a mirror every morning, plucking the chin hairs out of my chin, was not my idea of fun. Genetics in action. I was advised to shave the area, just like a man would, and come in for laser. It worked for a while, and then they switched machines, and it stopped working.

I just kept shaving my chin, up until a week ago. No more chin hair! Love that!

I hardly have to shave anywhere now, and I am loving that. Sliding into a pair of shorts, at a moments notice is now awesome. Don’t haveta check my legs for hair because there is none. This might actually get me somewhat excited for swimsuit season. I’m digging it.

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No matter what life brings Beauties, it’s how we see it that matters most. Look for the unseen, and strengthen your Faith. God will use it, but be warned, Satan will too!

Look for the good in everything. Some days are easier than others, but that’s when God sends people into your path. Following this Breast Cancer Journey, has brought so many amazing people into my life. Like never before! I feel loved, and I get to love them back!

I still feel a little awkward when I see people today, that saw me a month ago with a head full of hair. The best response to date was from a vendor at The Farmer’s Market on Saturday. He looked at me and said, “Is everything okay with you health-wise? Because the last time I saw you…you had hair.” I appreciated his candor. His mother died from this.

My hairdresser/friend that shaved my head twice, didn’t charge me anything. I told her, “God is going to bless you for all the good you do for others.” She said, “I don’t even haveta look for the blessings anymore. They’re just there.” This is where I am, and have always wanted to be. I love that.

mescarf (135x240)Barbara is a Writer, Certified Letting Go Coach, and Mom to her 16-year-old daughter. She loves dipping cookies in her coffee in the morning and has a pretty healthy obsession for chocolate. When she started this Blog in 2014 Letitgocoach was what stuck. She enjoys helping people Let Go of what is holding them back from having a beautiful life. Her life today is an example of Letting Go and Letting God. You may connect with her via email. Letitgocoach@gmail.com

 

 

Breast Cancer Journey, Mr. Smith

Just Be Brave

I have not thought of myself as brave. I can be a Badass, but that occurs when  something, or someone pushes me too far. My daughters says, ‘At that point, you better run.’

blog1I have just enough redneck in me to be scary. People are calling me brave for this Breast Cancer Journey I’m on.

The ones that are brave, are the ones that went before me, and shared their story. This lights my path, and helps ease my fear of the unknown. Those women are Badasses.

Fear is of the devil himself. His goal is to kill, steal, and destroy. He is such a coward, and you will notice this, if you look at when he attacks. It’s in the timing of it all.  While we sleep, and right before we wake up is my fave.

 

me (135x240)No matter what you’re going through, you are not alone. Another tactic of the devil, is to keep you in solitude. Put that stinkin’ devil under your feet! I knew God wanted me to share this journey, but at first I was afraid. I’m more afraid of being disobedient to God than anything else.

Surround yourself with people who will love you through it. Mr. Smith shaved my hair down to almost the skin this weekend. It was falling out anyways, but it took time and patience from a good man, to get me there. He is a chef, so he tied a bandana to resemble a Chef’s cap.

Be brave Beauties, and unleash the Badass in you. To feel truly alive, you must live.

P.S. Another fear of mine was the port for Chemo. You can see the stitches in this pic. I love wearing tank tops when it’s warm, but there again, the shame. My daughter said, “Own that tank top Mama! You look like you got into a bar fight, got stabbed in the chest, and won!” Haha Let people believe in you, until you can believe in yourself. I believe in you.

Barbara is a Writer, Certified Letting Go Coach, and Mom to her 16-year-old daughter. She loves dipping cookies in her coffee in the morning and has a pretty healthy obsession for chocolate. When she started this Blog in 2014 Letitgocoach was what stuck. She enjoys helping people Let Go of what is holding them back from having a beautiful life. Her life today is an example of Letting Go and Letting God. You may connect with her via email. Letitgocoach@gmail.com

 

 

 

 

Breast Cancer Journey

Better Than Good

Kudos to my landlord, Pete, for dousing the perimeter of the outside of our home with poison. Haven’t seen a Scorpion in days. I guess they got the message, they were at the wrong house. I am grateful.

I caught Pete this morning taking the trash down to the street. Pete is happily married, and he and his wife, treat me like a daughter. It’s nice, you know? He takes care of all the manly stuff around here, and then goes home to his wife. I like it.

He asked how I was feeling, and I just beamed and told him, “Great!” He looked so perplexed, and said, “You are handling this whole thing so well.” (The Breast Cancer thingy) I just looked at him, laughed, and said, “Oh no, it’s not me. It’s all God!”

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I haven’t kept it much of a secret that I have breast cancer. It was my little secret for a while. I ignored the symptoms for months, and self diagnosed continuously. Reaching for some other conclusion besides the big “C.” How can God get the glory for the miracle in store if nobody knows? I am sharing this journey in hopes of encouraging others through.

My purpose is to show people they can have a beautiful life. An ordinary woman, walking into the second half of her life with a daughter, a few of my favorite things, and God. If I can do it, so can you. How was I going to continue this mission with Cancer? For me, it was an ugly word, so how was there going to be beauty? Because God is a master at beauty.

God knows I am stubborn. He knows it’s going to take time to get me where I need to be. The best way to get my attention is physical pain. God doesn’t cause pain, but He will use it.

I was in a lot of pain. It took time, but it got to the point where I dreaded going to bed at night. I knew it was going to hurt when I laid down. I didn’t share this with anyone. Only the few people who saw me, could tell I was in a world of pain. They watched and waited.

They knew it was going to have to be my decision to go see a doctor. Finally, I surrendered.

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Do you know, the day I left that doctor’s office, my pain subsided? That night was the first night in months, I slept all night with no pain. By surrendering, and taking that first step into the doctor, and onto this path, God was pleased. I was terrified, but God was happy.

At first, I didn’t want anyone to know, or anyone to pity me. Being an Alcoholic with 17 years sobriety, I knew a pity pot was not for me. There is a difference between pity and sympathy. When I wrote the initial Blog about it, some friends were taken aback, and not sure what to say, so I just let them be. Others embraced it, and stood up as Prayer Warriors immediately.

I continued to try and post uplifting messages on my Letitgocoach Facebook page. Knowing that God was going to do something good with this, even though I couldn’t see it right then.

Well…It’s been a little over a month since this journey began, and I have a list of His goodness through this. That will have to be another Blog, because I have learned so much!

Most of the people on my Facebook page don’t even know my name. They call me Coach.

These are the people I didn’t want to disappoint. What if I didn’t sound encouraging enough? The beautiful life was not gonna be so pretty anymore. All these fears crept in, and you should see that page today. I have paused posting so many Memes, and started sharing the beauty of my still beautiful life. It seems more beautiful recently than ever before, or maybe I am seeing it through eyes of no pain. Whatever it is, it’s so much better than good.

Barbara is a writer, Entrepreneur and Mom to her 16-year-old daughter. She loves dipping cookies in her coffee in the morning and has a pretty healthy obsession for chocolate. When she started this Blog in 2014 Letitgocoach was what stuck. She enjoys helping people Let Go of what is holding them back from having a beautiful life. Her life today is an example of Letting Go and Letting God. You may connect with her via email. Letitgocoach@gmail.com

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Unbecoming 2016

Love You More

Today is Valentines Day. I felt like writing last night at 11:45 pm. I thought that would be sweet to press publish around midnight of the day that points it out. I chose sleep instead.

I’m sitting at a large table, overlooking the lake. The sky has been thick with clouds all morning, but now, I can catch a glimpse of the sun trying to break through. This reminded me of how my heart felt right after I left my marriage. My heart had been closed off for so long, it was thick with clouds. Slowly it started to crack open, and I could feel light within.

Was the light penetrating in or pressing it’s way out?

I had been filled with God’s love for 20 years, but life had hardened my heart. I didn’t feel loved where I was anymore. We had long ago let that die. I believe you have to nurture love to keep it alive and allow it to grow. Not knowing how to depend on God for that, I was expecting it from others. Other people cannot give love when they don’t have it to give.

God’s love is endless, deep and pure. I will never match the love He gives me, so why try?

It’s good practice. I believe what God gives us, He wants us to share with others. Our highest calling is to love, and it starts with ourselves. I had to forgive myself for what I thought were mistakes, or bad choices. Looking back, they were just part of my path, and have made me wiser. I made a decision to start over, and I still do that today. Do overs.

When we stop the ‘do overs’, we lose the practice. I believe to be really good at something, it takes practice. Allowing my heart to melt, and become pliable is what gave me a new heart. A clean heart, to love and live again. Today, I practice keeping my heart full and allow it to overflow onto others that will receive my love. The ones I have chosen, give it back in spades.

mug (206x340)This mug was given to me by Mr.Smith for Valentine’s Day. The entire mug says, “I love you more Barbara.” At first glance I thought that is just the sweetest thing ever! This morning, it was sitting here with me holding my coffee as I pondered this Blog. This picture says something more.

Don’t be afraid of more. Love is one thing you can have an over abundance of. It’s in the overflow that we can freely give. This picture reminded me not only of more love, but more Barbara. When you think you love enough, love more.

 

Present Moment, Quality of life

Us and We

What happened today warmed my heart. It was the sweetest miracle to watch unfold, so I had to share.

My daughter had two people interested in one of her kittens she had posted for sale. She was mainly a barn kitty, but it would be no problem finding her a good home. Being a Siamese mix, she was pretty, fluffy and cross-eyed.

A man contacted my daughter and told her he was interested in the kitten. He had been looking for a Siamese for his girlfriend. Her Siamese was stolen about a year ago and he thought she was ready for another one. A lady contacted my daughter as well. She told the lady that the man had asked first, but would let her know if he didn’t take it.

This morning my daughter awoke to text messages from both the man and the woman. They were boyfriend and girlfriend and he had been looking for a kitten to replace the one that was stolen. She had reached out to my daughter because it was one year ago today that it happened, and she was ready for another one. The couple confessed to one another this morning, showed one another a picture of the same kitten, and met us in town to take her home.

He was going to surprise her with the kitten, and she was going to talk with him about getting it. I am learning to enjoy a healthy relationship, it’s not a mindset of you and I. It’s about us and we.

 

 

Love, Present Moment, Quality of life

Live Love Learn

People fascinate me. Taking time recently to read about the differences between men and women, relationships, friendships, and it’s all fascinating. The month of December is when I set aside time for awareness and to learn.

blog2This month will be a time to reflect over 2015. What worked and what didn’t? What is working now and what is not? If it hasn’t worked all year, do I really want to bring it into next year? How much room do I have on this platter of life? I left room to try some new things next year.

Not having a successful marriage caused me to question having a successful relationship. We all have parts of it that worked, but will they work in the next relationship? From what I can gather, it’s a new relationship, so everything is new. This is what will make a new you too.

Every day is new as is every moment. Treat the new person as new.

 

blackandwhiteBarbara is a writer, Entrepreneur and a Mom to her 16-year-old daughter. She loves dipping cookies in her coffee in the morning and will only eat cake with real buttercream icing. When she started this Blog in 2014 Letitgocoach was the name given. She enjoys helping people Let Go of what is holding them back from having a beautiful life. Her life today is an example of Letting Go and Letting God. You may connect with her via email. Letitgocoach@gmail.com

 

Uncategorized

Time and Patience

I typed in the title for this Blog three days ago. That is when God gave it to me. It has taken me until today for it to fully form in my heart. Was I busy? Did I get distracted? Was He testing me to see if I knew anything about the title?

I went over to my laptop desktop for a picture to use. I try and keep my desktop neat and somewhat clean, so I clicked on the oldest one there. The first one downloaded after the last cleanup. This one caught my eye a month ago.

waitI am learning time takes patience and patience takes time. This has been a big deal for me this year, coming from a woman that was once known as Ms. Ready, Fire, Aim. All year I’ve been waiting on God.

I have found the less I do, the richer my life becomes.

Doing less does not mean being lazy. There are three things I wanted to learn about and grow myself into this year, and by His grace, I am still focused. Writing, teaching how to Let It Go, and encouraging others on my Letitgocoach Facebook page. Magnificent things happen over time.

Has any of these three things happened in my timetable? No. Have they happened quickly? No. Have I felt like giving up and caving in? Yes. linedry

When you keep your eyes and heart fixed on God, you cannot worry about tomorrow. To me, that is not trusting God, and thinking He is going to make a mistake. I’m pretty sure He is incapable of that. God doesn’t make mistakes; we do.

I enjoy calling it, ‘Moments of minding my own business.’ When I least expect it, God will encourage me and let me know, I’m on the right path. He works through people to say, “You doing good Barb! Stay strong!” He will send someone to my Facebook page, or this Blog to encourage me.

November is coming up quick, and am I where I want to be? I don’t think so, but God must have me right where He thinks I should be. It’s going to be His timing and my patience. Now if we can get that ‘like’ button to become ‘love.’

 

blackandwhiteBarbara is a writer and loves being a Mom to her 16 year old daughter. It’s a dream come true for her to be a Letitgocoach and help others enjoy their lives. She hosts Workshops, does one on one Coaching and is writing her first book.  You may connect with her via email. Letitgocoach@gmail.com

 

 

 

 

 

Letting Go, Love

Assume Your Positions

Love is a fabulous feeling. I carry a lot of love inside and with me throughout the day. It brings me joy to share it, especially if a friend is having a hard time. I have a fabulous friend I stop by to see once a week just to give her a hug.

loveEveryone loves differently. They feel and display it uniquely in their own way. This can be confusing when you’re in a relationship. I know what my love looks like, but it takes time to see the other persons. Going headstrong into life, patience is a difficult discipline for me to acquire. It can be done, but it’s not very graceful. I have found it to be rather painful.

I will be the first to admit, I am spoiled. The people of my past have stepped out of my way and allowed me to move forward down my path.

Eventually, God will place a person in your life that doesn’t move. They stand strong in the middle of your path and just smile. It’s highly annoying for me and I can have a fit, but that person doesn’t mind. They will allow the fit and wait for it to subside. You see, they have acquired the skill of waiting and are a master at waiting patiently. It’s highly annoying.

The benefits outweigh the negatives. The only negative is on me and my flesh. You will always know this person is waiting on the path. They are not far out of reach and are always there if possible. That is comforting for me in a relationship, just knowing they are there. Just like disciplining a child, they will wait for the fit to be over, put you in a timeout, or even threaten to spank you. At my age, I don’t think about being spanked, but I hear it can be done.

My life may be beautiful, but if God thinks I’m too spoiled, He will fix it. It takes a strong man to stand up to me and not budge. I will wait a long time for that kind of man. One who loves me enough not to give me what I want right now all the time. Nothing worthwhile in my life has ever come easy. I don’t need easy, just possible. In the meantime, I will continue to have my fits and get those out of my system. My love and having that man to love is worth the wait.

 

Love, Quality of life

Get To Work

I love what I get to do today.  All of my work revolves around some type of writing. God gave me a sound mind and a loud mouth, so I get to type these words in hopes of encouraging others. Do what you love and love what you do.

blogIt hasn’t always been this way. It seems to take a while for my mind to catch up with what my heart already knows. Once I learned money and material possessions couldn’t bring me happiness, my life got real simple.

Faith make all things possible. Believe it and receive it peeps. I have a little sign that says, “Faith is seeing light with your heart when your eyes see only darkness ahead.” God gives just enough light for the step I’m on.

There has to be Hope. Faith and Hope go hand in hand. Then there is Love which makes all things beautiful. There is an abundance of beauty in  life and I hope you see it in yours. Life will try to suck us in and it’s easier to get busy trying to make a living rather than living and enjoying life. Don’t overlook the beauty. Have faith in the unseen, hope that it will come to pass, and love your life! It’s much sweeter to ‘get to’ rather than have to.