Love · Moving On

What She Sees

My parents were not the ideal married couple, but they were good parents.  I don’t recall seeing them kiss passionately or hold one another in a timeless hug. It was a duty for them and after we were all grown, they divorced. At 50 years old, my mother was free to be herself. She did just that and never remarried. I want more for my girl.

I read an article this morning about a 50 year marriage. The author wrote about her parents and the lessons she learned watching their love. Reading the article made me realize, that is all they did. They expressed their love to one another for a lifetime. When the man was asked to go out after work, he replied, “Why should I do that when I have everything I need at home?” How simply honest is that? You can click here, to read the article in it’s entirety.

heartI chose to break the cycle of my parents marriage. My ex husband and myself had grown up watching similar marriages by our parents, and the day he told me, “We are going to be our parents,” was the day I said, “Nope.” Hearing those words started a change in me that changed my life.

My daughter was 12 when I started praying for God to open a door. I refused for her to go through her teenage years seeing a broken marriage. My ex and I never showed any type of affection toward one another. We avoided being in the same room and the same bed. It was not a marriage.

God’s timing is always good. It took time and patience, but a door was opened for me to leave and take her with me. She just turned 16 this month and is becoming grounded in herself. She knows one day she will be able to share the love she has inside with the right person. Right now she is good with loving God and herself and becoming more of who God wants her to be. She won’t settle for just any kind of love.

 

blackandwhiteBarbara is a writer and loves being a Mom to her 16 year old daughter. It’s a dream come true for her to be a LetItgocoach and help others enjoy their lives. She hosts Workshops, does one on one Coaching and is working on her first book.  You may connect with her via email. Letitgocoach@gmail.com

 

 

Letting Go · Moving On · Quality of life

Don’t Be Sad

My daughter saw me standing in the backyard, staring off into space. I felt her small presence beside me as she lifted up her hand and slid it into mine. She said, “Mommy? Are you ever going to smile again?” Seems like a lifetime ago.

blog It doesn’t seem real when I think of it now, but I remember her voice like it was yesterday. My daughter, at a young age, knew the depths of my sadness. She brought it to my attention like, the secret is now out. I didn’t smile anymore and hadn’t even noticed. She knew so now my time was up.

I got sober and found out I was pregnant. My daughter is what we call a sobriety baby. My marriage was over from what the alcohol had done, but God gave me a gift for giving Him my addiction. Being pregnant that first year was so good for me. I clung to the women and the men left me alone.

I stayed in that marriage for almost 25 years, hoping it would work. When you’re drunk the day you get married and get sober 12 years into it, chances are you’re gonna change. Just like my drinking, I had to hit bottom on the happiness meter too. When other people notice how sad you are, it’s bad. Don’t wait. It’s time to do something.

 

blackandwhiteBarbara is a writer and loves being a Mom to her 15 year old daughter. It’s a dream come true for her to be a Let It Go Coach and helping others enjoy their lives. She hosts Workshops, does one on one Coaching and is working on her first book.  You may connect with her via email. Letitgocoach@gmail.com