Finding That Balance

For brunch, I chose a different chair to sit in at the dining room table. One I don’t normally use. Still disrupting patterns.

This dining room chair offered a spectacular view of the front yard. A warm breeze was blowing, and I noticed the Whirligig, with it’s one side spinning. It’s double-sided, but only one side of it spins. The other side stands still.

My daughter reminded me that the Whirligig fell over in the yard once, so it must be bent. I’ve tried fixing it, to help it spin to no avail, so today I took a more gentle approach, to observe.

whirlygig

I didn’t see anything majorly bent, but it was off balance.

I saw it as two sides of life. Sometimes it’s moving rapidly and spinning freely, and other times if feels as if nothing is happening, and it’s still. I studied one side, and the other, then noticed this difference. The side that spins freely, has some extra space.

Where one set of circles end, and another set begins, there’s a gap. I put some space between the circles on the non-spinning side by gently separating the ends. It began rocking back, and forth, like it could finally breathe and find it’s balance.

Putting space between our thoughts, creates pause between our actions. There’s a balance. If we move too quickly after the thought, it’s an impulsive move. If we keep putting it off, it can fall into procrastination, or soon be forgotten altogether.

I’m using the self trust cultivator to move more promptly with my thoughts. If it seems like a good idea, or something that can easily be accomplished, I do it and it becomes a part of the done list.

balance

But I had to create space first. Up next, creating that space.

The Water Bottle

She drove to the store to pick up a few things. I had written ‘Hydrangeas’ on the list, but she spotted daffodils and instinctively knew which to buy.

Daffodils are displayed on the table.

I have this thing about pretty water.

When I see a pretty bottle of water, I purchase a couple. One for her room, even though she’s not normally here, and the other one rests on my bedside table.

I call it my ‘weekend’ water bottle.

weekendwater

Today, as my daughter was leaving for the store I said, “If you see any pretty water bottles at the store, grab us a couple.”

When she returned home, I couldn’t believe my eyes when I saw the water bottles she had chosen. I think she outdid mine.

But, you know? I can’t help but feel like something really good happened here. She knows what a pretty water bottle is, and she knows what to look for.

waterbottlebay

This shade of emerald green sparkles from across the room as the light hits it.

She’s on her way to a beautiful, adult life my darling. Even with the water bottle.

Maybe You’ve Changed

My daughter made my Chemex this morning. She was getting ready to leave for classes, but paused long enough to do that.

That’s true love.

She stayed home this weekend, so I didn’t make weekend plans. I just wanted to hang out with her in that weekend vibe. Life has her on a rapid schedule right now, so it was different for her to just chill. We went to one of our favorite small towns yesterday and strolled the streets of downtown.

lattes

We walked into one of my favorite shops, or so I thought. There was a day not too long ago I would drive to that town just for that shoppe. It’s full of Artisan goods on display and for sale. One of my favorite Potters has his work there and I soon found his display taking up a corner of the store.

I picked up one of his coffee mugs and cradled it in my hand. It didn’t have the same feel as the mugs we use today. My daughter said, “You know I will slip some of those mugs from Dad’s for you if you want.” I used to collect this potter’s work, but left all of it in the cabinet when we left.

Placing it back on the shelf, I said, ‘Nah.’ Our mugs feel like love when you hold them.

This mug belonged on display.

Leaving the shoppe, I looked down at the sidewalk and told my daughter, “I didn’t see anything in there today that resonated with me. It used to be one of my favorite shoppes, but maybe it’s changed.”

She stood with me in that moment and softly said, “Maybe you’ve changed.”

Trust Your Crazy

I do some crazy looking stuff.

Like molding butter to fit the butter dish.

Yes, I have a Pioneer Woman Butter Dish, and it’s a little wide for one stick of butter to fill, so I buy a slab of butter. Let it get room temperature, and mold it with my hands to fit the dish. It’s crazy, I know! It takes a bit to get all of the butter off my hands, but it’s worth it.

When I left my marriage, everyone I knew gave me a look, or told me, ‘That’s crazy!” Well, we see how that turned out. I’ve had the most fulfilling years of my life to date. When people heard I moved to a tiny house on 40 acres, with my teenage daughter in tow, it sounded crazy, but there again… Best experience ever!

I have friends who own local shoppes that I love to visit when time permits. It’s a no rush type thing, where we catch up, as I look around. I saw this sign a couple of weeks ago, and it made me smile. I told myself, “Barb. Like, you really need one more sign.” So, I left the shoppe without it, but couldn’t forget about it.

I told myself I’d go back the following weekend, and if it was still there, I’d buy it. Well…

trustyourcrazy

It makes me smile every time I see it.

Sitting here on this dreary, rainy day, looking back over the last several years, it’s been crazy. It would seem some of the best paths are. That first step is always scary, and some may call it crazy, but from where I sit, it’s an extraordinary life.

I’ll continue to trust my crazy.

It Pays to Wait

It was New Years eve and my work-space was quiet. I took advantage of the time and thoroughly went through all of the WordPress themes. I saw one I really liked, but it wasn’t free. My daughter liked it too, but when I asked her if I should buy it she said, “You like to change your theme often, so if you buy it you might feel stuck with it.”

My first purchase was a couple of years ago with the personal plan, just to get rid of the annoying adds.

There’s over 450 themes to choose from and was close to giving up, when I spotted this one. I imagine it was entertaining for someone visiting my Blog during this marathon of themes. It changed every few minutes. This one was free and met all the criteria, but the final test was to see if it was mobile friendly.

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It passed!

 

This morning, I received an email from WordPress. It was almost time to renew this site. I’ve been pondering moving from personal to premium, so today I did.

I knew I’d have more options with the premium plan, but what I didn’t know is, all of the themes are free!

I’m glad I waited and didn’t purchase the theme. For a few more dollars, I have the premium plan and can choose from any of the themes. I really like this theme and won’t change it anytime soon, but it’s nice to have that option. It pays to wait.

The Disco Ball

I let it go years ago, but it came back into my life this Christmas. It was introduced in one of my very first posts in June of 2014 entitled, A Little Bit of Everything.

Releasing it from it’s hook attached to the old oak tree, only to discover it crawling with ants. They had began living inside the Disco Ball and made themselves at home, so I left it by the tree and stepped away.

It wasn’t easy to let go of. I thought about exterminating it and bringing it with us to our new home, but not everything travels from one journey to the next.

That was two houses and four years ago.

My daughter knew I loved that Disco Ball and she gave me a new one this Christmas. It’s not silver like the last one. This one is made of color. My life is more colorful now.

discoball1

It’s hanging out front and when the light hits it, colorful dots dance everywhere.

Why wasn’t it replaced before now?

We lived in the country, so there were trees. The disco ball isn’t expensive. It costs less than gas for my truck each week, but I believe it was the timing of it all.

What makes our heart happy doesn’t leave. It’s rooted there and waits. When the time is right, it’ll rise to the surface, even better and brighter than before.

Just like the Disco Ball.

settling2

Two of Everything

When my daughter and I first began living this life together, you could look around and see two of everything. The house has two bedrooms. There’s two overstuffed chairs in the den. Two blankets on a nearby shelf readily available.

We created a life for two.

built

It’s time to open my heart for more.

I have these two bowls. They each have a plate that matches and I bought them years ago.

While shopping, I pay attention to other bowls that might match. The shape is so hard to find. They are shallow and wide. I wasn’t overly focused on the color, as long as they complimented one another. Then it happened. Strolling by a shelf full of bowls, that color caught my eye.

There was only one on the shelf.

bowls

My daughter and I always use place-mats, cloth napkins and real dinnerware. We set the table for every meal, but maybe that’s not normal for most. What’s normal to us may look like a lot effort to others.

Today my darlings, if you set down at our table and see a bowl that fits, but doesn’t quite match…that’s the extra effort. I’m adding to the two of everything.

It Was Time

“Do you want a new Christmas stocking?”, she asked. I hadn’t thought about it till that moment.

secret

I haven’t had a new Christmas stocking since the divorce. The one I brought with me is laying in a box of unused Christmas items. These items that at one time, we enjoyed having, but they no longer resonate. That was my stocking.

Letting go of what you once were makes room for the new.

stocking

My new Christmas stocking is completely different than the other one. This is how my daughter sees me today. She knew before I did that it was time.

Just Be Sweet

There’s memes floating around this time of year about, ‘finishing the year strong.’ It’s tiresome being strong all the time and I want to finish the year more gently. I’m taking the rest of the year off from being strong.

theend

I’ve been told, “You come across a little strong.” Well, that’s what I’ve become, but it doesn’t have to be who I am.

I’ve also been told, “You’re so sweet’, and not solely from my daughter. Even though she tells me, I’m not very accepting of it. It’s like the words won’t sink into my skin, they swerve.

This morning I had a message from SC Lourie waiting for me. She’s so sweet and that is why I started following her so closely. I tend to follow the heart I want to have.

There’s two weeks left in the year. In what way do I want to spend it? I’m going to just be sweet.

Life is Complete

I saw a paper tree with lights for our coffee bar. The display was magical at the store, but once I got it home and on the bar, I didn’t like it.

I gave it some time to see if it would grow on me. There’s so many shiny things that get my attention this time of year. The paper tree is going back in the box and back to the store.

Surprisingly, I had the right tree all along.

whitetree

It’s a crazy looking little tree made up of tinsel and red lights.

We bought it the first year my daughter and I were out on our own. It was sitting in a treasure/junk shoppe in Elgin, TX for $5.00. After all the moving around we’ve done, it’s made it through unscathed.

Now, plugging the tree in is an adventure.

You never know what you’re gonna get.

Sometimes the lights behave and stay solid red. At any given moment, they’ll start flashing, but after a while go back to solid red. They all work, you just never know in what way. It’s part of it’s charm.

Like so many things at Christmas, it’s not about the tinsel tree. It’s the moments wrapped around it.

And just so you know…

present

There’s Christmas wrapping paper with Unicorns and Rainbows. Life is complete. 🙂