That’s My God

It’s the little things in life that never cease to amuse me. Standing at my kitchen window after an hour’s worth of steady rain, looking at the plants I just watered yesterday. A smile came to my lips as I chuckled at the conversation I was having with God in my heart.

The weather forecast wasn’t calling for rain, but I can’t rely on weather predictions. The best way to know the weather around here is by noticing what it’s doing. God wants to be noticed and it was like He was saying, “If you’d waited Barb, you would have seen my plan for those plants.” We have conversations like that more than we should.

I depend on God in every situation, but sometimes I run ahead. One of my most spoken prayers is, “Here’s my life. I lay it at your feet. Your will be done, not mine.” Then I go on about my day with my plans and actions, so I’m grateful when God shows up with a similar plan, only better.

Life is amusing when it comes down to my plan versus God’s plan, and it’s instances like these that continue to amuse me. That’s my God.

The First Step

I woke up at 4am, and couldn’t decide whether or not to go back to sleep. It’s amazing how many tiny choices we make in a day, with each one altering the next.

I began thinking of my French Press and how I haven’t used it very much. It was one of those things Barb ‘had to have’, but I couldn’t get satisfied with the taste of the coffee. I have read articles from coffee experts, and the instructions that came with the press, but this early in the morning, I wanted some simple steps. Google led me to an article by the easy to follow woman behind Gimme Some Oven.

Her way of making it just made sense to me, so I hopped outta bed at 5:00 am, and strolled quietly into the kitchen with instructions in hand, ready to try again. There are several steps involved in making a French Press, but anything that’s worthwhile has steps.

First I had to see how much water the press would hold. It held 4 cups, so I poured the water into the gooseneck kettle and sat it on the stove to bring it to a boil. Then waited. After it begins to boil, the water needs to rest for a minute, so I took it off the burner to rest.

I opened the timer on my phone and set it for 4 minutes, and poured the freshly ground beans into the French Press, just going through the steps. The hot water was poured just over the bed of grinds, about 2 inches, and stirred with a wooden chopstick to wet every grind, and the timer began.

My favorite part is watching it bloom. Putting my face over the press, I inhaled the magical aroma. If it’s really good coffee it should bloom, or foam up. The more it foams, the better quality. After one minute had passed, the rest of the water was poured in and the lid was put into place. The screen rested on top of the water with the plunger standing up.

I watched the countdown of time ticking by with the numbers illuminated blue in color. It was interesting when the timer got down to the last 30 seconds, the numbers turned red.

The one thing that bothered me about using the French press in the past was the feel of the pressing. I know how it’s supposed to feel when you press the plunger down with the palm of your hand. It should have some resistance, and not be effortless. This time it had plenty of resistance, so in the past I hadn’t poured enough in.

Le Creuset Café Stoneware French Press

Lessons learned:

  1. Don’t go back to sleep. The day is waiting for us to step into it.
  2. Keep using what we have and get it right.
  3. Follow some instruction. If the first ones aren’t to our liking, find better instructions.
  4. There’s a waiting period after every step.
  5. Let the water get boiling hot, but don’t let it spew. Anything that gets that hot needs a minute to rest.
  6. Watch the time, and be attentive to the red zone.
  7. Pause and enjoy the bloom. Breathe it in.
  8. When we begin to press through and there’s resistance, it’s normal. Nothing worthwhile should feel like an easy plunge, just continue to gently press.

Was getting up early, and trying once again to make a French Press worth it? You better believe it! That was excellent coffee. Keep trying and be willing to go through some steps to get to where you really want to be.

It all begins with the first step.

A Thrilling Place To Be

A friend found out today that he didn’t get the house he had placed an offer on. He found this house last year, and fell in love with the property. It would be a perfect place to live, and house his business, but God has other plans.

A lot of us prayed fervently about this house.

But, we all prayed in accordance to God’s will.

Sometimes God’s ‘no’, should be our ‘thank you.’

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I told my friend, ‘Answered prayer.’ It may not seem like an answered prayer, but it is. The house was perfect, and maybe it all looked that way to us, but something wasn’t right.

We couldn’t see it, but God could.

What my friend did right was clinging to his faith. He was patient with the back and forth about the house, for months. I’m sure he became frustrated with waiting, but God was watching, and I believe my friend won today.

He didn’t get this house, but he’s better equipped for the next one that comes along. I encouraged him to keep looking, and to follow his heart to what he really wants.

I think that seems too big to us.

But, it’s not too big for God. What He has planned for us is more than we can ever imagine, and that’s a thrilling place to be.

Peonies in December

This particular grocery store has a row of fresh cut flowers on display as soon as you enter. I pause, look and smile. Strolling by the row of buckets, each containing fresh cut bouquets, I stood still and gazed at the last bucket.

There stood our favorite flower.

The Peony.

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This flower is prevalent in summer.

Sitting at the coffee table this morning gazing at the Christmas tree, through a vase full of Peonies. It’s fabulous as cold as it’s been to have a moment like this in December. Unrush my darling. Moments are waiting for attention.

peony

Peonies in December.

Waiting for Autumn

autumn

Fall in Love

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Give it Time

I wish to encourage you today. No matter where you are in your journey…give it time. Time heals all.

After 14 years of Blogging, a woman is finally where she yearned to be with her Blog, and her writing. This is only my fifth year. I’m going to give it time.

When I begin a new venture, such as working part-time at the pizza place, I tell myself to go with the flow for at least 30 days before forming an opinion. I’m well past 30 days, and it feels like home.

I’ve been hard on myself recently about The Morning Pages. I just can’t seem to be consistent writing in a notebook every morning. Some day I wants to and other days I just look at it with a smirk.

Maybe it’s not the right time…

Everything-Comes-to-you-at-the-Right-Time.-be-patient

Patience. Smith taught me that. I can’t tell you how many times I hit the ‘pause’ button on our relationship. Too numerous to count, but Smith is extremely patient. He gave me time and space to be alone. To figure things out in my own time.

It takes time to have a lasting relationship.

No matter where you are today my lovely.

Just give it time.

They Are Mailed

SC Lourie designed Christmas cards this year. I saw them online after Thanksgiving and fell in love. I was so excited about the cards I overlooked the shipping method and she sent them regular mail.

They arrived last weekend from the UK.

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SC Lourie Christmas cards.

I have fond memories of Christmas cards as a child. Mama would tape them around doorways.

They have become a lost art so I’m grateful for the creative souls who are bringing them back to life.

I realized this year I missed them. You give what you wish to receive. The last one was mailed today.

deer

Years ago, my then husband and I had cards printed and engraved with our family’s names and mailed by a mail house right after Thanksgiving.

I don’t know if I’m bending the rules to the point of nonexistence, or if they just broke when my marriage did. It didn’t bother me one bit to mail these cards the week before Christmas.

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For my daughter the day she left for England. 

They are full of love and they are mailed.

You’re Not Alone

I published a Blog yesterday, and went back into my Blogsite and deleted it. The same thing happened today. Write, edit, publish, and an hour later, delete. To the 5 people who read them both, “I apologize if I scarred you for life.”

My email followers received notifications of the posts. Clicked on the link, and stared at air. I apologize to you too. I have discovered that waiting on this appointment next week causes me to feel vulnerable. I don’t mind being vulnerable, but to let someone read about it, amplifies the feeling.

If you’re a writer, maybe you do the same thing.

Publish a Blog, and then delete it, or maybe you have some in drafts that you can’t bring yourself to finish, and publish. I have some of those too, but there is something I’ve learned.

No matter how sucky I think that published Blog may be…it’s going to help someone. It’s going to have something in there that someone needs to see. So, maybe if I write this at night, hit publish, and go to bed, you can read it while I sleep. Because waiting on Tuesday to arrive is not working.

My instinct is to disappear for a few days, and become quiet.

To remove myself from the lives of the people I love, so they don’t have to be a part of what I’m going through. That is my way of protecting them. Well, the last time I checked, my circle of people are some brilliant, grounded adults who can decide whether they need protection or not.

I believe you are only as alone as you allow yourself to be.

I don’t feel alone, so thank you, for not leaving me alone.

The More I Learn, the Less I Know.

I’ve read more books this year, than three years combined.

I’m reading Melodie Beattie’s, Finding Your Way Home, for the second time. It made me desire for more people to have this level of self-awareness, and self-love. When I began this Blog, it was to show people that a beautiful life is attainable. That was my goal, so now that it’s achieved, what’s next?

I really don’t know, but I’m willing to be patient, and find out.

This year, I detached from Social Media. It was very difficult to do, but it’s done. Three times last week, I left the house without my phone. I didn’t turn the truck around to go get it, and had a beautiful time in town connecting with people.

I’ve become a part of the AA community again. Online is not the same as in person. You get to laugh, and hear others laugh, and that hug at the end of a meeting is irreplaceable.

Technology is helpful in the world, but it can’t replace the human touch.

I found it to be easier to post an encouraging Meme everyday, than to spend time sitting with an actual person.

Memes are not moments.

Every new beginning, starts with an ending. Are people willing to draw a line in the sand, and end the life they have to begin again? I don’t know. It takes grit and grace to do so.

The list is long of what I don’t know, but time reveals all. If you asked me, “How long does it take to attain a beautiful life?”, my initial answer would be, “Five years.” Thinking about it more in-depth, it took my whole life up to this point.