A Thrilling Place To Be

A friend found out today that he didn’t get the house he had placed an offer on. He found this house last year, and fell in love with the property. It would be a perfect place to live, and house his business, but God has other plans.

A lot of us prayed fervently about this house.

But, we all prayed in accordance to God’s will.

Sometimes God’s ‘no’, should be our ‘thank you.’

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I told my friend, ‘Answered prayer.’ It may not seem like an answered prayer, but it is. The house was perfect, and maybe it all looked that way to us, but something wasn’t right.

We couldn’t see it, but God could.

What my friend did right was clinging to his faith. He was patient with the back and forth about the house, for months. I’m sure he became frustrated with waiting, but God was watching, and I believe my friend won today.

He didn’t get this house, but he’s better equipped for the next one that comes along. I encouraged him to keep looking, and to follow his heart to what he really wants.

I think that seems too big to us.

But, it’s not too big for God. What He has planned for us is more than we can ever imagine, and that’s a thrilling place to be.

Peonies in December

This particular grocery store has a row of fresh cut flowers on display as soon as you enter. I pause, look and smile. Strolling by the row of buckets, each containing fresh cut bouquets, I stood still and gazed at the last bucket.

There stood our favorite flower.

The Peony.

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This flower is prevalent in summer.

Sitting at the coffee table this morning gazing at the Christmas tree, through a vase full of Peonies. It’s fabulous as cold as it’s been to have a moment like this in December. Unrush my darling. Moments are waiting for attention.

peony

Peonies in December.

Give it Time

I wish to encourage you today. No matter where you are in your journey…give it time. Time heals all.

After 14 years of Blogging, a woman is finally where she yearned to be with her Blog, and her writing. This is only my fifth year. I’m going to give it time.

When I begin a new venture, such as working part-time at the pizza place, I tell myself to go with the flow for at least 30 days before forming an opinion. I’m well past 30 days, and it feels like home.

I’ve been hard on myself recently about The Morning Pages. I just can’t seem to be consistent writing in a notebook every morning. Some day I wants to and other days I just look at it with a smirk.

Maybe it’s not the right time…

Everything-Comes-to-you-at-the-Right-Time.-be-patient

Patience. Smith taught me that. I can’t tell you how many times I hit the ‘pause’ button on our relationship. Too numerous to count, but Smith is extremely patient. He gave me time and space to be alone. To figure things out in my own time.

It takes time to have a lasting relationship.

No matter where you are today my lovely.

Just give it time.

They Are Mailed

SC Lourie designed Christmas cards this year. I saw them online after Thanksgiving and fell in love. I was so excited about the cards I overlooked the shipping method and she sent them regular mail.

They arrived last weekend from the UK.

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SC Lourie Christmas cards.

I have fond memories of Christmas cards as a child. Mama would tape them around doorways.

They have become a lost art so I’m grateful for the creative souls who are bringing them back to life.

I realized this year I missed them. You give what you wish to receive. The last one was mailed today.

deer

Years ago, my then husband and I had cards printed and engraved with our family’s names and mailed by a mail house right after Thanksgiving.

I don’t know if I’m bending the rules to the point of nonexistence, or if they just broke when my marriage did. It didn’t bother me one bit to mail these cards the week before Christmas.

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For my daughter the day she left for England. 

They are full of love and they are mailed.

You’re Not Alone

I published a Blog yesterday, and went back into my Blogsite and deleted it. The same thing happened today. Write, edit, publish, and an hour later, delete. To the 5 people who read them both, “I apologize if I scarred you for life.”

My email followers received notifications of the posts. Clicked on the link, and stared at air. I apologize to you too. I have discovered that waiting on this appointment next week causes me to feel vulnerable. I don’t mind being vulnerable, but to let someone read about it, amplifies the feeling.

If you’re a writer, maybe you do the same thing.

Publish a Blog, and then delete it, or maybe you have some in drafts that you can’t bring yourself to finish, and publish. I have some of those too, but there is something I’ve learned.

No matter how sucky I think that published Blog may be…it’s going to help someone. It’s going to have something in there that someone needs to see. So, maybe if I write this at night, hit publish, and go to bed, you can read it while I sleep. Because waiting on Tuesday to arrive is not working.

My instinct is to disappear for a few days, and become quiet.

To remove myself from the lives of the people I love, so they don’t have to be a part of what I’m going through. That is my way of protecting them. Well, the last time I checked, my circle of people are some brilliant, grounded adults who can decide whether they need protection or not.

I believe you are only as alone as you allow yourself to be.

I don’t feel alone, so thank you, for not leaving me alone.

The More I Learn, the Less I Know.

I’ve read more books this year, than three years combined.

I’m reading Melodie Beattie’s, Finding Your Way Home, for the second time. It made me desire for more people to have this level of self-awareness, and self-love. When I began this Blog, it was to show people that a beautiful life is attainable. That was my goal, so now that it’s achieved, what’s next?

I really don’t know, but I’m willing to be patient, and find out.

This year, I detached from Social Media. It was very difficult to do, but it’s done. Three times last week, I left the house without my phone. I didn’t turn the truck around to go get it, and had a beautiful time in town connecting with people.

I’ve become a part of the AA community again. Online is not the same as in person. You get to laugh, and hear others laugh, and that hug at the end of a meeting is irreplaceable.

Technology is helpful in the world, but it can’t replace the human touch.

I found it to be easier to post an encouraging Meme everyday, than to spend time sitting with an actual person.

Memes are not moments.

Every new beginning, starts with an ending. Are people willing to draw a line in the sand, and end the life they have to begin again? I don’t know. It takes grit and grace to do so.

The list is long of what I don’t know, but time reveals all. If you asked me, “How long does it take to attain a beautiful life?”, my initial answer would be, “Five years.” Thinking about it more in-depth, it took my whole life up to this point.

Give It Time

We have talked about time, patience and waiting patiently, but I am learning, time does reveal all. The big challenge for me is, don’t jump in and start doing. Just be present.

Something interesting happened because of the ‘Box of Love’, this week. This guy taking up space in my daughters heart and mind, sent a couple of his favorite t-shirts in the box. She wore one yesterday, and that evening, she came over to sit beside me in the swing.

She said, “You know what sucks about wearing this shirt? It smells like him and makes me miss him.”

My heart hurt for her because I know that pain. I don’t enjoy missing people. It’s normal, but when it causes more pain than goodness in my life, it’s time to re-access.

Today, I am seeing that every person has a reason and a season in my life. I’m not afraid of being hurt because I know it will make me better. Letting Go is a must to keep growing.

Pain can be healthy if we allow it to do it’s job and then let it go. Don’t take is so personally.

Are you familiar with The Four Agreements? I have been pondering them this week, and they have reaffirmed a few of my beliefs. They are #1. Be impeccable with your word. #2. Don’t take anything personally. #3. Don’t make assumptions. #4. Always do your best.

Melody Beattie says, “We will be guided into understanding, and what we need to do to take care of ourselves. We will begin to trust our instincts, our feelings, our thoughts. We will know when to go, to stop, to wait. We will learn a great truth; the plan will happen in spite of us, not because of us.” Thank you God in advance for Your plan and not mine.

Stay present and give it time.

No Plan B

I write to understand my life, is a quote I saw this week. That is what you will find here. Stories of my life and the people in it. Some are here and some have passed through. If you’re reading one of these and can relate, you’re either going through something similar, or you were there. I rarely mention a name but if you were there, I thank you now.

I was once leery of writing about the men in my life. There hasn’t been many, but I am thankful today for each one. You already know I was married half my life, but did you know I was in a relationship for a year and a half after the divorce? He follows my Blog, or used to. I think it was too much for him to read. His name was not there but he was.

blogHe used to always tells me, “There needs to be a Plan B.” If we are following God, does there need to be a Plan B? I don’t think so. That would be making a plan in case God failed. God never fails. We fail God.

I learned so much in that relationship. You have seen snippets of it here without even realizing it and you will see more. It doesn’t take a lot of people to write your life story. It takes a lot of lessons learned over time.

I don’t say that to be harsh. I have learned from every person in my life. God works through people. They come into our lives to teach us and that makes us the person we are meant to be. You need more patience? Oh my.

God will use people and situations to help! There is a saying, “Don’t pray for patience or you’ll get it.” It’s a painful practice for me but necessary. Waiting on God takes a huge amount of patience. Otherwise, I would do it myself and that’s even more painful.

When your time is up with that person it shouldn’t be painful. So many people are mourning broken hearts and that is the main reason I am a Coach. To help people get past the pain and learn to live. You had a life before them and it should be better because of them. It may hurt because they are gone but if they were meant to stay they would still be there. ‘God’s got a plan.’ My daughter at 15, reminded me of that today. She has learned what she has been taught.

 

blackandwhiteBarbara is a writer and loves being a Mom to her 15 year old daughter. It’s a dream come true for her to be a Let It Go Coach and helping others enjoy their lives. She hosts Workshops, does one on one Coaching and is working on her first book.  You may connect with her via email. Letitgocoach@gmail.com