It’s ridiculous how many times I’ve written, “I’m tired but…”, this year. Penzu sent me a journaling memory that was written a year ago and it started with those words. I’m trying to pause pushing myself through tired.
In my 20’s I acquired an over achiever mindset, so by the time I hit my 30’s I had a successful business and did speaking engagements to teach others the secret to success. In my 40’s life changed, or maybe I did. What looked like a successful life was a very large house empty of the most important thing to me. Happiness. At the age of 49, I blew up my life and hit restart.
I still tend to push myself to over achieve at everything I do, but I’m well into my 50’s now. I have a friend who is younger than me and we Marco Polo almost everyday. She get’s so excited about a new idea or venture she wants to partake in, and I smile and Marco Polo her back with encouragement and an experience from my past of something similar. She’s tells me, “I think you’ve done everything at least twice.”
Ah, but lovely, there’s so much more I’m still willing to do. Our maturity is our ticket to spend less time with job/work, and more time in meaningful work, or simply choose to take on everything in a more meaningful way.
My friend sent a Marco Polo recently with an idea that reflects her heart of gold. I need to Marco Polo her in response because it’s obvious God had a hand in lining everything up. That’s what success looks like for me today. When our preparedness meets His timing, and that will entail laying our heart and hand to something a whole lot more than twice.
The quote in the feature photo was sitting at the bottom of the page of my momentum plug-in. Everyday it shows some type of inspiration in big, bold letters on the page, but recently I’ve been steadying my gaze toward the quote at the bottom. It’s smaller font, but has more of an impact.
My week off was spent slowing down a little each day. By Thursday, I felt completely relaxed, yet attentive. On Wednesday my daughter told me I looked more like myself than I had in months. I took some time to ponder gift giving and my favorite type gift to give is something I’ve used and loved. It can be anything such as a candle, a book, or a chocolate bar that was more an emotional experience than a piece of chocolate should be.
I’ve been ordering small items this week with each person in mind. I don’t know if this would be considered early holiday shopping, or if you purchased your gifts months ago, but for me it’s early and feels right. I usually wait until closer to Thanksgiving, but as I Googled each item and placed it in the cart, that still small voice within was saying, ‘Do it now.’
I didn’t wait for a Black Friday sale, or combine all the gifts for free shipping, though some offered it. Each cost less than $20, but big and bold doesn’t equate to meaningful in my world. Love tends to arrive in small packages and will spread to take up every square inch it’s offered. This feels more intentional than previous years, and there’s an element of ease.
I haven’t found the ‘right’, or ‘perfect’ time for anything of worth, but in the past I’ve waited for better timing and it evolved into missed opportunity. Some believe timing is everything, and it’s celebratory when our timing aligns with a divine plan. This year is coming to a close my darling, so whatever you’re meant to do, do it now.
It’s become customary around 2:00 PM to be outside watering plants. My Dad used to say, “It’s the hottest part of the day”, but I’m beginning to embrace the heat. It’s not humid at that time, but it is hot.
As I was out there today, hose in hand with the spray nozzle attached, I noticed the sky getting dark, and clouds rolling in. I had worked my way around the yard and was spraying the last flower bed when I heard the thunder. Dropping the hose, because the nozzle is stainless steel, I rallied the dogs and we went inside.
It was funny but I couldn’t help thinking, if I’d waited 15 minutes before doing the watering myself, I would’ve seen there was a better plan.
Standing at the window, watching a steady rain drench everything I had just watered, the 50 foot watering hose lying in the rain seemed small. I whispered, “I’m sorry I ran out in front of you again.” That has happened on numerous occasions, and it’s a continual education discerning the difference between God’s timing and mine.
Then I felt Him smile and say, “Hey Barb. It was only 15 minutes. You’re doing better.”
The watch went back into it’s original box. The ginormous clock was removed from the bedroom wall and moved to the breezeway. I can still see it from the bedroom, so it will continue to be enjoyed, but it’s out of my room, and there’s no more ticking sound. I want to stop watching time.
This post was in my draft folder, and I realized that folder wasn’t emptied last year like I wrote about here. It went down to two drafts, but I felt a pause in publishing them. They are still in drafts and I’ve been adding to the folder this year, so we are back up to seven drafts!
The first week of January I shared with friends, “I’m taking the month off from life itself.” That’s when I removed the clock from my bedroom, and stopped wearing a wristwatch, but it didn’t last. A week later, the clock returned to my room, just like this draft wound up in the folder. There’s some comfort in seeing time, and knowing there’s a draft, or six, suspended in time.
That’s what January has felt like for me, just suspended it in time. Taking time to organize my life by putting things in their rightful place. Everything should have a place, or it needs to be passed along for someone else to enjoy. Sometimes we acquire items not meant for us, but we can keep them until that person shows up to give it to. That has happened quite a bit in my life. The keeper of goodness to be handed off to someone else along life’s path. That’s a good description of how we should live our lives.
Don’t sweat the draft folder. When the time is right, it will become a published post just like this one did.
Put everything in it’s rightful place, and if it doesn’t have a space, pass it on to who you believe will enjoy it.
Take notice of what comes into our lives. It may not be meant for us, but God will reveal the rightful owner.
When you find yourself anointed the keeper of goodness, that is something that surely must be given away daily.
Whatever it is you wish to pour into this world to make it a prettier place, this is your permission slip to figure out your start. The world is waiting for what you have to offer, so don’t be afraid to take some time.
PS. Just not too much time.
My daughter has gone to meet a friend for coffee. They don’t get to see each other very often, because the friend moved, but she sent a text as soon as she hit town.
I encouraged her to go and enjoy their time. Gave her a hug and said, “Go get filled up.” That’s what friends do.
About a week ago, I received a text from my friend that I meet for coffee at least once a month. If we can manage, we meet twice a month. Once we set the day and time, I don’t let anything stand in the way of meeting her. We meet at the same coffee bar every time and it’s our spot.
About a week ago, she sent me this picture.
I recognized the drink, the table and even the reflection of light on the table before reading the text. We’ve had many a conversation there and I always feel refreshed and renewed when it’s time to go our separate ways.
Not to mention highly caffeinated.
I wonder if it felt strange that day for my friend to sit at the table by herself. She told me that drink was her reward for driving through Austin traffic. You need a medal for that, but I was happy she thought of that drink as a reward.
It’s a rewarding moment every time we meet and we need those in our life. We need friends who fill us back up and we do the same for them. I encourage you to put that mask on that has become second nature and go sit with a friend.
My friend sat at our table by herself that day, but she wasn’t alone. We both know that table is a table for two.
Chocolate makes everything better.
As I’m standing in line with a bag of chocolate eggs, I saw this magazine. Just seeing it poured a bucket of calm over me, so it was added to my purchase.
Trusting where you are today matters for who you’ll be tomorrow.
I believe those words. I’ve watched them come to fruition in my life continually and there are people who remind me.
Speaking with a friend yesterday, he reminded me that I’ve been here before, and to look at where I am now. I’m starting a new job. Well, actually it’s an extension of one of my existing jobs, but I’ll be working for one company instead of two.
It’s unsettling with all the technology I’ll be learning, and the added responsibility, but he tells me I say that every time!
As I was eating brunch yesterday, I read this article of things I know, but needed to see.
I hope this displays large enough to be readable and it covers you in comfort. Our days feel uncertain, but we’ve been here before.
Turning the page, I came upon this.
Hey there Darling…Pause and breathe.