Tag: #perfectionism

In Responsive Mode

I may be a perfectionist. Yes, I’ll admit to it, but I’ve tried watering that down with, ‘I’m picky, or particular’. None of those words sound very complementary, but they are a part of who I am.

I’ve stopped drinking coffee first thing in the morning. Make sure you read that entire sentence, because Barb has no plans of dismantling the coffee bar and giving away her gadgets. It’s taken years to acquire each and every one of them, and to learn how to not only use, but appreciate their performance.

This morning I chose the French press.

But let’s back up a little bit to the comment of not drinking coffee first thing anymore. I drink water instead. This morning I woke up very early and walked through the house drinking my water. I noticed the birdfeeder hanging outside the window, and how it still bothers me it doesn’t hang in the center of the window. (Yes, I bought another one, but that’s another story all on it’s own.)

When I brought the feeder home from the store, I just hung it on an existing hook. The hook was off center and it held the feeder, but it’s bothered me ever since. This morning, I stepped outside to retrieve the feeder, but couldn’t reach it from the front porch. I remembered using a small ladder to hang it there, so I haven’t had any coffee, but I’m going to climb a ladder before dawn. That’s when I heard myself grumble ‘perfectionist.’

The lengths I go to, to line everything up in my life.

Yesterday, I noticed the kitchen island off center of the lines in the tile floor. That was an easy fix because the wheels weren’t locked in place tightly enough, but that’s what I do, I notice when things are off center and then figure out how to fix it. The birdfeeder was an easy fix too. The scariest part was climbing a 3 foot ladder that early in the morning, but I got the feeder down, moved the hook to the center of the window, and now it’s centered.

Two hours later, I sat down at the kitchen table with a fresh cup of coffee and began to type. It’s nice to know I don’t have to drink coffee to start my day, or to successfully climb a ladder and move a feeder. I can look at coffee more like a treat to be savored after drinking my water. My morning devotional reminded me of what each day should look like. It’s okay to have perfectionist tendencies, but I’ll never be perfect and that’s okay too.

“I have prepared this day for you with the most tender concern and attention to detail. Instead of approaching the day as a blank page you need to fill up, try living in responsive mode; being on the lookout for all that I’m doing. This sounds easy, but it requires a deep level of trust, based on the knowledge that My way is perfect.”-Jesus Calling by Sarah Young-March 10th.

Instead of using the word ‘perfectionist’, I’ll just tell myself, “I’m in responsive mode.” That sounds better! Have a beautiful day lovelies. This is Barb, signing off for today, in responsive mode.

That is Enough

I was thinking about her comment while making the morning Chemex. It was in response to this meme I posted for SC Lourie.

She was having a hard time being a single Mom, but what stuck with me the most was, “I feel like I fail my children everyday.”

I want her to know, that’s so far from the truth my darling.

tuesday

I wasn’t paying attention to the pour of the Chemex. The boiling water hit the grounds too fast, and they slid down the filter in spots. It wasn’t pretty, but that’s what distraction does.

It was no big deal. I resolved to drink it, and if it bothered me too much, I’d make another one, because that’s what I do. Start over as many times necessary until satisfied with the end result.

chemex2
The Re-do

The only failure is not trying again.

Just show up, and keep trying your best. Start over as many times needed, and you won’t feel beaten. Kids watch what we do, but they don’t grade our performance. They don’t expect perfection from us, but I think we do. You woke up to a new day, and sometimes my darling, even that is enough.

A Gratitude Jar

I didn’t do my Morning Pages this morning.

It’s all good though. My daughter has classes, and I chose to spend time with her before she left.

we-can-decide

Thank you for your encouraging comments yesterday about These Two Jars. I found a shoe-box and dumped the pieces of paper inside. It lost all appeal. It was like the shoe box covered up the idea. I’d probably forget about writing on a slip of paper a day using the box, so back to the jar we went.

Walking away from the shoe box with jar in hand, I just plopped it down on top of the coffee bar to ponder it’s placement. Seeing the jar sitting there this morning, it looked at home, even though it was not planned. Scooping up the pieces of paper from the box I placed them back inside the jar.

jar3

Sometimes I make things more complicated than they should be. The gratitude jar was a simple idea I read about, and then tried to make perfect.

The first idea is the best idea.

Stick with the original idea. That is called inspiration when the idea of adding something meaningful to our lives first strikes. To hear that still small voice and follow through. Logic is overrated in my opinion because by following your heart there doesn’t seem to be a lot of logic to it.

By  paying attention to what’s around us, we can instill the simplistic beauty of a gratitude jar.

It’s Only Pizza!

Everyday at the pizza place is different.

It depends on who and how many walk in.

When I leave to go home, God shows me a little snippet of why I’m there. Last night was no exception. I made mistakes.

Mistakes (1)

I work the front of the restaurant alone.

Lastnight, several families came in at once.

I was trying to take their order as quickly as possible and get them seated, so they could enjoy their evening meal. I need to stop moving so quickly.

Two families ordered beer with their pizza. The register has changed. You used to be able to tap the name of the beer and it would add it automatically, but we’ve added pitchers of beer along with mugs.

Now you have to choose the size, or it doesn’t know the dollar amount to charge. Just the name of the beer and $0.00 appear. I forgot to tap the ‘mug’ size, so I had just given 4 people free beer. 😦

mistakes

I addressed one couple about my mistake. They didn’t think anything of it. The woman came up to the counter to pay, and ordered two more.

Then there was this sweet, elderly couple sitting over in the corner. Sipping their beer and enjoying the pizza. I didn’t have the heart to tell them!

I told myself that I would suck up my mistake, and cover the cost of their beers, but God had other plans. God doesn’t want us to carry the burden of a mistake. He wants us to learn from it and move on.

The elderly gentleman came up to the counter holding an empty glass. He asked for a refill, and that’s when I apologized and told him I hadn’t charged him for the previous two. He understood and handed me enough cash for all three.

He placed the remaining dollars in the tip jar!

Something like this happens when I begin to rush. I make mistakes, but I continue to learn. The owner of the restaurant doesn’t want me beat myself up. He always says, “C’mon Barb! It’s only pizza!”