When Grey Turns to Blue

Refining what we have. Paying attention to what’s in front of us and making small adjustments toward better.

I painted a wall, and it wasn’t even a large wall, but it is the first wall you see when you walk in the front door. The paint job has always bothered me. Before we moved in, someone touched up the walls, and used a shiny finish paint, instead of flat. It’s the same color as the wall, just a different finish, so the touch up was noticeable.

Before

Walking by the wall this morning, I’m really glad I only painted the one wall and not half the house. The early morning light made the grey look blue.

The framed note you see hanging on the wall is my newest addition of reminders. I walk by it 100 times a day, and each time I glance at it to remind myself of what’s here.

There’s a lot of grey in the world today, but we hold the paintbrush and can paint our little corner of the world any color we choose. If your world is looking grey, my hope for you today is just like this wall, your grey turns to blue.

After

In The Quiet

The stillness of the morning.

The cat is curled up on an ottoman nearby and the dogs are lounging in the hallway. The quiet is my sweet spot.

Photo by Lisa Fotios on Pexels.com

I was at the pizza place lastnight helping out during rush hour. Music was blaring through the speakers in the ceiling, and the guys in the kitchen where sharing loud banter. The phone would ring and I’d answer, trying to sound composed in all the noise.

The noise level was intense for about an hour and then it all died down. Sitting here this morning I realized I can get the job done within the uproar of the noise, but where I really hear what feeds my soul, is in the quiet.

Let It Bloom

It’s been a life-long love affair with the Hydrangea, but the seasons are changing and it’s going away until Spring. This morning I noticed myself having a bit of trouble letting it go.

My daughter and I were out shopping this week. When I disappeared from view, she knew where to find me. We were near the flower department and there I was staring at the massive bouquet of multicolored Hydrangea. We carried it to the checkout, and when she beeped the bouquet and saw the price, she gave me a surprised look, or maybe it was shock.

I knew better than to meet her gaze and looked away thinking, you only live once. We came home and put them in water.

This morning I walked by the coffee table where they sit. Some of them had drooped overnight, so I grabbed the vase and took it into the kitchen. I laid them out on the cutting board, grabbed a sharp knife and sliced a good chunk of the ends off each stem. I chose a different vase, filled it with cool water and placed them in. They looked pretty sad, but I remained hopeful.

Looking out the window, I saw my neighbors outside, so took a walk around the block for a short visit. There’s nothing like listening to a toddler talk about life. When I returned home, the Hydrangeas were perking up and struggling their best. As I write, all are standing tall and looking refreshed, except for one.

We have a fear of loss and try and fix things to make them last longer. As I saw this one stem not revive itself I thought, well, I can always buy more, but then stopped that thought. It shouldn’t be that easy to replace. I’m just going to let them bloom, stay as long as they wish and move into a new season.

Seasons are temporary and I look forward to seeing the Hydrangea in the spring. Until then, I can have peace in knowing I didn’t try to make it stay. All I did was let it bloom.

Them Three Days

This is the first time, in three days, I’ve turned on my laptop. I pulled back my bedroom drapes this morning, just to make sure there was still a world. I’ve been asleep for 3 days.

Before Chemo, this would never have happened. Oh sure, I could take a nap every now and then, but to allow my body to curl up and just sleep? A toothache was the culprit, but is getting better. I have heard that Chemo is hard on your teeth, but I wasn’t prepared for this.

I lit some of my favorite candles, and just went with it.

Rest-Day-1024x1016

My sponsor told me years ago, a lot can happen in 3 days. She would always suggest, waiting 3 days before making any monumental decisions, or taking action. Something would happen to give me a revelation, or the time would cause it’s importance to fall away.

One thing I wanted to accomplish this week was give my daughter a ‘Birthday week.’ I don’t believe I’ve ever done it before, maybe when she was little, but she turns 17, August 8th. So, I went around to different shops, and collected 7 little things I thought she would like. Little things to remind her of who she is, where we’ve been, and where we’re headed.

I had the clarity of mind, to write a note about the item, which is all the writing I’ve done, up until now. I loved writing her the note more than anything, because the words just flowed from my heart to hers. She got choked up a couple of times, but there should be emotion in our writing. I’m so grateful to have been able to do that for her each day.

Today is Day 3, of her birthday week, and I’m having trouble deciding what to give her next. I’m thinking it will be the LED sign that says, “No Regrets.” I want her to know at this young age, to live a life of no regrets.

That means doing things that scare you sometimes, like Chemo, but I can honestly say, I have no regrets in my life. Just keep living, loving, and learning.

Stay the Path

Today is my last day on “the job.” I received a text lastnight saying they had hired someone to take my place. It’s a good thing I don’t get offended anymore.

I knew it was only temporary. Stepping in when it was needed, and helping to hold together what was in place. My life is full, so doing this alongside everything else was a challenge.

Knowing it was a temporary assignment, I was able to do the best I could, seeing a light at the end of the tunnel. You may laugh at this scenario, because I did, but picture this. I had two laptops set up in the house. One was my own personal laptop, that I write on, encourage others on my Letitgocoach Facebook page, and nurture my world through.

The other was one from this job. It housed everything work related to the job, and made a lot of noise. It dinged everytime an email, or voicemail came into that office. When I first took it into my possession, the lady that had it before me had the sound muted. Now I know why. It constantly beckoned for my attention if I was sitting at my laptop across the room.

It can be noisy, and distracting, but I jumped back and forth, trying to take care of both.

Today I take the laptop back, and hand it to the new girl with glee. Even though making extra money was nice, it was not worth doing it any longer.

My personal laptop brings me so much joy! There is no price tag for that. Everything I do on it, is because I have a yearning to do so. It houses my passion.

Sometimes we veer off the path to learn new things, or to help someone out. I am grateful today that I am quicker to get back on my path, and that I still choose joy over money. Stay the path.

 

This Ain’t Easy

If you had $20 to your name, how would you spend it? Years ago, I would spend that money on diapers. Today, I would spend $13 on my favorite candle, and the rest would be a toss up between a Pumpkin Spice Latte, or actual food.

Does that sound silly? I try to be a good steward of everything God gives me, including money. I think He knows, there are a lot of small things I would rather buy before food. It’s just not that important to me. A home that smells like fall from an amazing candle? The moment of savoring my favorite fall coffee drink? Those are important to me.

faithIt’s not easy living in the calling God gives you. God put a desire in me to write and that is what I do. Is it perfect grammar? I’m from Texas, it ain’t gonna be perfect.

I know one of my God given gifts is an Encourager. God prompted me once my legal separation began to start writing publicly. I have always kept a journal, but He wanted to show people my life. Walking through alcoholism and a divorce wasn’t easy, but it was possible. That is all my daughter and I need. Possible.

It is all thanks to God. He gets all the glory for it and that is what I’m here to share.

I’ve had the life of get up, take kids to school, go to work, pick kids up, eat dinner, go to bed and start all over. When it was time for my son to attend high school, the thought horrified me. He was such a good kid, I was afraid he would be eaten alive, so I homeschooled him. Then my daughters school closed down after her 3rd grade year, and I chose to homeschool her. That was the beginning of quality of life for us.sky

When she was younger, I would take her to work with me. As she got older, employers started to frown upon that, so God opened a door for me to work from home. When she turned 13, the beginning of her teenage years, I worked virtually for a friend of mine in California and still do, part time. It was less hours and less money, but the rewards!

That was when I found it to be true that we can make better choices and have a better life. My daughter took this picture of the sky behind our house. She goes outside almost everyday between 6 and 7 pm. The time she goes out depends on the colors reflecting in the house from outside. It’s the beauty factor that gets her attention.

This morning, I was going through a file I have for her in my email. In it was an email she sent a year ago, wishing me a Happy Birthday. The words that jumped off the page this morning were, “I want to be like you when I grow up.” This humbled me as gratitude just spilled out for this beautiful life God has given us. Once again, this must be God.
 

Stealing My Joy

I had a revelation just now in the kitchen. Maybe my kitchen is the place to be because I seem to find revelation there daily. Yesterday, God showed me what my book is going to look like, just standing at the kitchen sink. Now it is clear.

I have had a page pulled up since early this morning to write this ‘Stealing My Joy’ series, and I had to just place it in drafts. God has shown me two things in the kitchen today, and one of those is…I can steal my own Joy. The other thing was, He has given me a beautiful life and that is what I can encourage others with. People want a pretty life!

blog2Every time I walked by, or sat down at my laptop, I saw the page waiting for me to type. Even though there is something right outside my door that is annoying, I don’t have to let it steal my Joy. I choose not to for now and will write about it once I have a conclusion. I want a happy ending first.

I have an extremely patient man in my life. He always lets me work. This week, I became engrossed in what I do and we lost touch.  Choosing to spend several hours with him today is just what I needed.  He brings pure goodness into my world and my life would not be as pretty without him.

My daughter is playing music and twirling like a ballerina in the den as I walk by. She asks, “Dance with me Mama?” I give her a look because she knows, I don’t dance. As I walk by her, she grabs me and gives me a hug instead. I held her tightly for a moment and just felt that moment. Our life is in constant motion, but we have to stop for these moments. These are precious moments that produce all that’s pretty.

 

blackandwhiteBarbara is a writer and loves being a Mom to her 15 year old daughter. It’s a dream come true for her to be a Let It Go Coach and help others enjoy their lives. She hosts Workshops, does one on one Coaching and is working on her first book.  You may connect with her via email. Letitgocoach@gmail.com

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Enjoy The Plan

I love how life flows. Sitting here at my desk, looking out the window, and seeing a beautiful day in store. Texas has had a lot of rain, so the sunshine feels good. The house was perfectly still a moment ago, until Gus, our Blue Heeler,  decided to jump up and start barking at something unseen by me. Our home can be still and become startling  in an instant.

reason

I saw this post this morning and thought it was just beautiful. I tried to post it full size so you could enjoy every ounce of it’s splendor along with me. That didn’t work too well.

Coffee in hand and bread rising in the oven is the start of a great day. Taking a peep out the front door, I see Gus has lost his spot on the front porch. It is has been taken by Mama cat and her four kittens.

My desk has a reasonable order to it this morning. My morning devotional sits beside my left arm with my reading glasses resting on top. It was read at the very start of my day.

To the right is my cell phone, coffee, notes, books and my vaping supplies. Yes, I quit smoking last year and now enjoy vaping. It’s still a habit but I believe it’s healthier and cleaner than cigarettes.

I am surrounded by several of my favorite things on my desk. It is much like my life in general.

Surround myself with people and things who will love me, help motivate me, encourage me, inspire me, enhance me and bring happiness to my world. This is as far as I’ve gotten into today. There are things I want to accomplish, like setting up a schedule for my daughter to continue with her home school courses through the summer.

If we stay in the present moment and enjoy the plan before us, it’s not a lot of work. I love the verse that says, “Be still and know that I am God.” Today’s devotional from Jesus Calling by Sara Young said, “Let Go, relax, be still and know that I am God.” I love what He is doing and I love the people He has placed in my life to share the journey.

Bruised, not Broken

Almost a year ago I received my Letting Go Coaching Certification. This process can help anyone who desires quality of life.

We start by adopting the perspective of our nervous system. You see, the body knows how to be healthy. If you spent time each day resting, remaining calm and you led a peaceful life, your body would remain balanced and healthy. This is because the space of rest allows the body to express its most authentic inner energy, the power of homeostasis (inner balance).

Your nervous system makes decision on your behalf. If you put your hand on a hot stove, the information travels up your arm to the spinal cord. The spinal cord nerves process the information and sends a command to your arm to pull the hand back. All of this occurs without the brain. It is the nature of the spinal cord to make an immediate decision on your behalf, much faster than it registers in the brain.

Have you ever touched something hot, recoiled and wondered why you did that? Your brain is processing what your nervous system already knew.

Have you ever noticed a bruise on your body and wondered where it came from? The moment it happened, it was painful and the brain took assessment of the pain. Life is a lot like that. We take on the painful experience, assess and move on to the next thing. What happens to that painful experience? It leaves a bruise.

My goal as a Letting Go Coach is to fine tune your awareness of what the body is telling you in the moment.  Our bodies are designed to heal themselves given the proper care and attentiveness. Letting Go of past experiences allows the bruise to heal quickly and you will begin to realize, it was only a bruise. You are not broken.

 

 

 

Find Your Voice

I’m sitting here before I retire for the evening and just wanted to write. People ask me what I do and I tell them about my jobs and then add, “I’m a writer.” They find my job status interesting enough, but they always look up at me with a smile when I add the ‘writer’ part.

trust

I found myself coming full circle today on trusting God. There was a season in my life, not that long ago, that I trusted Him just to wake me up the next day. He always did. Not knowing what direction my new life should go, I trusted Him for every step and sometimes every breath.

Making decisions with business throughout the day, it’s easy to play decision maker in my life too frequently. I trust my choices. My life has been calm and peaceful for almost 2 years now, however, a part of my long ago past that I didn’t use my voice on is coming back to haunt me. I didn’t have a voice back then and wasn’t given many options, but today I have a voice, and my God is BIG.

When I first moved here God told me, “Just trust me.” That is all I heard and all I knew to do. He has blessed me beyond belief just for trusting Him and being the best I can be. So, with this too I will trust Him. I can trust Him with the big things when they roar up like a giant sea serpent, all the way to the things I take for granted like waking up tomorrow.

The hardest thing I had to learn was to wait, but don’t get too good at waiting because He wants quick obedience. I’m still not as good as I should be waiting on people, but I will wait on God. My morning meditation said, “I am with you and for you. You face nothing alone~nothing!” Little did I know this morning that I would need to be pouring this on me tonight. Thank you God. I’ll just trust You.