Tag: quiet morning

Farewell to Who I Thought I Was

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It’s Saturday morning in the first week of October and my home is so still and quiet, one could hear my stomach grumble.

I’m supposed to be attending a Jack Canfield, Breakthrough to Success weekend workshop. I was invited by someone who doesn’t know me very well, but sees me as motivated. Friday was the first day I attended, but it reminded me of a Richard Simmons workout, as the spokesman was trying to get the audience pumped up and motivated before Jack appeared.

It was a revelation that my nervous system couldn’t handle the energy of the environment created by the motivational speaker, but 20 years ago I thought I wanted to be him. Now I realize you can make an impact quietly.

Friday, I met a friend for coffee and on the drive over I asked myself if there were any problems in my life that needed to be resolved. The only thing that came to mind was that morning catching the dog with his head in the litter box, eating cat poop. He knew that was not acceptable as soon as he was caught, so that problem had passed. I shared this with my friend and we had a hearty laugh.

Finding people to love and to be loved is connecting with the chosen few who align with your kind of weirdness.

I’m making shifts, creating space, and purchased a book of blank pages to write the next chapter. I’m officially letting go of Letitgocoach, but continue to write. Letitgocoach became a name that others knew me by, but there’s no desire to fill those shoes. It was something I had to prove to myself that I could get certified and did, only to place another check mark on the ‘done’ list.

When I talk with people in my life today, they say, “Tell me about Barb’s world”, and I smile. I’ve been writing on that WordPress site, but want to share with you…I’m letting go of who I was thought to be, and to simply be. Thank you for your love and kind words of support through the years.

You are welcome to join me Inbarbsworld.

The Next Chapter

The Bottom of the Page

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It’s still dark outside my window, and the house is quiet and still. I’ve already written my morning page, and I call it that because I only write one page. Julia recommends three pages of longhand, but that feels like an excessive amount. It’s more enjoyable to pull out one blank page and fill in the empty space. I’ve been noticing a certain feeling toward the page of the bottom.

The halfway mark has a satisfying feel to it, and once you get there, ‘it’s all downhill’ as they say. The pen glides back and forth across the page, making it’s way to the bottom. I always pause when there’s only enough room left for two lines to be written. How do I want the page to end? Sometimes I simply wish myself a remarkable day and sign off.

The page is not about what you write, it’s just asking to be written. It’s become my daily disciple before the day begins. A certainty to be relied upon in this uncertain world. For the past few days there’s a feeling of accomplishment, or completion when filling in the bottom. My soul is at ease at the bottom of the page.

Prop Yourself Up

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My feet were resting on the step as I placed the piping hot cup of Joe beside me on the wooden planks. I was watching the day begin sitting on the front porch, and not even in a chair, but on the porch itself. My gaze shifted to the Hibiscus that showed me something yesterday that I needed to keep in my memory bank. This beauty was still propped up.

The tomato plant was done producing for this season, but I wanted to reuse that planter it was in. I saw a slender piece of bamboo in the middle of the plant, and for some unknown reason decided to keep it. Laying it on the porch, I dug the retired tomato plant up and placed a new plant in the planter, leaving the piece of bamboo resting on the porch.

Afternoon thunderstorms were coming in, as the wind began blowing through the yard. That’s when I noticed the Hibiscus hanging over the edge of it’s planter. Two branches that were connected had broken free from one another but could still flourish on their own. One just needed some support to help it stand up straight again.

I remembered the little stick of bamboo from that morning and grabbed a twist tie. I stuck the bamboo into the dirt beside the weighted branch, stood it up and attached it to the stick with the tie.

It was like a gift to take in the morning in such a simple way. Not knowing at the time why I kept the little piece of bamboo, it’s purpose was revealed hours later. The Hibiscus was saying, “Hey Barb, You know how to prop yourself up.” This is true, but I’m at a point in my life where I would welcome a stick of bamboo.

More Like Him

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Dogs are fabulous creatures, but what makes me smile more often is our cat. His name is Chomby, even though the Vet has him listed as Chungus. When using voice text on my phone, it records his name as Giambi. My daughter and I laughed and call him Giambi sometimes for the heck of it.

This week I watched him everyday just to see if he does this every morning, and he does. As soon as I let him out of his house, he goes straight to the window. This is before food, water, or even the potty box. I found his posture so intriguing and snapped this picture for you. It’s like he can’t wait to see what all is happening in the new day.

Giambi/Chomby

This week, I’ve seen myself doing something similar as Chombs. As soon as I wake up I find a window to look out of, but that wasn’t enough. I wanted to be outside. Yes, it’s hot, and humid, but I’m not willing to let that stop me. The sweet spot outside is found early in the morning. The flowers I planted in March and April aren’t going to care for themselves.

This morning, I noticed the flowers planted in the Vintage Flower cart looked sad. They weren’t getting enough water, or if they were, it was draining right through. I pulled them out and planted them in the shade. The flower cart was empty again. I’ve tried placing it in various places all over the yard, but this time I stood still and waited for the answer to come.

I spotted a bare patch of ground where the birdseed is poured every morning, so I rolled the flower cart there. Immediately I knew the birds would use it as a perch while taking turns eating the seed scattered below. For now, it serves a purpose empty, but we have a purpose to fulfill and empty won’t cut it. We can tap into what we know will fill us back up.

Seeing our cat faceplanted to a window reminds me to be excited for a new day. Let’s strive to be more like him.

In The Quiet

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The stillness of the morning.

The cat is curled up on an ottoman nearby and the dogs are lounging in the hallway. The quiet is my sweet spot.

Photo by Lisa Fotios on Pexels.com

I was at the pizza place lastnight helping out during rush hour. Music was blaring through the speakers in the ceiling, and the guys in the kitchen where sharing loud banter. The phone would ring and I’d answer, trying to sound composed in all the noise.

The noise level was intense for about an hour and then it all died down. Sitting here this morning I realized I can get the job done within the uproar of the noise, but where I really hear what feeds my soul, is in the quiet.

Everyday is Orchestrated

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‘Take what you have and use it’. That was my first thing in the morning thought. My daughter went to college via Zoom, I went for my walk and that’s where I saw it.

I wasn’t using my meditation app as intended.

Photo by JD Mason on Unsplash

It’s easy to envision mediation as the photo above.

It can be that way, but I enjoy walking and mediating. I’ve been using the free version of the Simple Habits app this year, but mainly for relaxation and sleep. I told myself if I upgraded to a subscription, I could download a mediation to listen to anywhere, anytime, and even while walking.

I rarely take my phone with me on a walk, but today I popped in one earbud, and left the other one out. Barb being Barb wants the best of both worlds. To be able to hear nature while listening to the mediation.

It was surprising how many of them began with, “Find a comfortable position, whether it’s sitting, or lying down.” I was halfway through my walk before finding what I need.

It wasn’t surprising that it was a prayer meditation by Westley West entitled, “Uplifting Morning Prayers”.

It was like being on a movie set where everything was perfectly orchestrated. As I turned the corner onto a straightaway, the clouds began to thin and the sun came streaming through. Stepping onto the street leading up a hill, I felt a light breeze and there was a spring in my step that made the hill less effort.

Photo by Karsten Winegeart on Unsplash

By the time I reached my street, I was refreshed, energized and grateful for a new day. That short morning walk helped me realize, my higher power has everyday orchestrated, if I’ll take what I have and use it.

Don’t Shrink Yourself

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I awoke by what sounded like a blender.

Then that familiar scent entered my room.

My WordPress friend, Still a Dreamer, gets this moment. She refers to it as the Nectar of the Gods. Yes my darling, I woke up to the smell of a freshly brewed Chemex! Life doesn’t get any better!

chemex

My daughter is a master of the Chemex.

She taught me how to make one, but mine are never as good as hers. She has it down to a science. She has class this morning, but took time to make one knowing it would be a beautiful way to begin this day. I was giddy holding this cup of magical brew.

Yes lovely, happiness is really that simple.

As my daughter was getting ready for class, she couldn’t decide what shoes to wear. She wanted to wear her new boots, but I could sense reluctance, so I questioned her quandary. Her response wasn’t what I thought it would be. It wasn’t so much about the boots, but how tall they made her look.

She is giving a presentation in front of her class. She is 5′ 8″ tall, just a little shorter than me. As she slid on her Converse sneakers I gave her a word of advice. You see, I felt the same way at her age.

I was taller than all the boys in school and wearing heels makes me look even taller. She doesn’t want to bring attention to herself, but today I know this…

shrink

Boots on my darling. Don’t shrink yourself.