Tag: raising daughters

These Two Chairs

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We have thought about buying a couch for as long as we’ve lived here.

I spent time cleaning over the weekend, and then did some rearranging of the den. As I was moving furniture around, I remembered the couch sitting here the first time we saw this house. It sat right underneath the window sill, and ran the length of the wall. Three years later, we still haven’t bought a couch. 😂

Sitting at the coffee table this morning, I looked across the table at her chair. It was empty. She is out, living her life, which I want her to do. She called and was excited about new tires for her Jeep. Her father took her tire shopping, and I sat and listened as she described every detail. That’s my girl excited about tires!

The main reason we haven’t bought a couch is these two chairs. They were designed and made around 15 years ago, for a formal living room which you can read about here. They are extra wide and the cushions are stuffed with down, so you can curl up and never leave. If we get a couch, they will have to go into storage, because neither of us can part with them.

These two chairs have held us up during every ‘love of my life’ breakup. They are wide enough to hold a box of tissues and a blanket. The fabric is formal, so I looked into having them recovered, and because they are so well made, the estimate started at $800 per chair. New fabric is not in their future.

Nowadays, her chair is empty more often than not, but I wouldn’t have it any other way. Through the years, the one place we always felt seen and supported is while sitting in these two chairs.

Feel The Music

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I heard this song last Sunday, and began composing a post after publishing To Be Seen. Unfortunately, I’ve been messing with it every day this week up until the final moment of it’s scheduled publish.

I shared this song with my daughter and told her it’s up next for Feel the Music. It didn’t take her but a moment of listening it to recognize the voice singing is Pink. My favorite part of the song is how she lays down her sword to dive into the pain. I don’t do that nearly often enough, but look forward to the day my sword can retire.

My daughter is my biggest fan, and I’m hers. She is my first like on a post and knows beforehand when one is going to be published. This one was scheduled for 10:00 am, but I haven’t heard from her this morning, so I’ll wait. We always show up for one another, but the timing of our lives doesn’t always align. The timing is not as important as the doing.

If she were here she’d say, ‘Stop rewriting the post!”, but maybe that’s okay. If nothing else she sees that you can rewrite your story down to the very last minute. I do know at some point to stop typing and kick it into cyberspace.

That’s all I know so far.

Let It Bloom

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It’s been a life-long love affair with the Hydrangea, but the seasons are changing and it’s going away until Spring. This morning I noticed myself having a bit of trouble letting it go.

My daughter and I were out shopping this week. When I disappeared from view, she knew where to find me. We were near the flower department and there I was staring at the massive bouquet of multicolored Hydrangea. We carried it to the checkout, and when she beeped the bouquet and saw the price, she gave me a surprised look, or maybe it was shock.

I knew better than to meet her gaze and looked away thinking, you only live once. We came home and put them in water.

This morning I walked by the coffee table where they sit. Some of them had drooped overnight, so I grabbed the vase and took it into the kitchen. I laid them out on the cutting board, grabbed a sharp knife and sliced a good chunk of the ends off each stem. I chose a different vase, filled it with cool water and placed them in. They looked pretty sad, but I remained hopeful.

Looking out the window, I saw my neighbors outside, so took a walk around the block for a short visit. There’s nothing like listening to a toddler talk about life. When I returned home, the Hydrangeas were perking up and struggling their best. As I write, all are standing tall and looking refreshed, except for one.

We have a fear of loss and try and fix things to make them last longer. As I saw this one stem not revive itself I thought, well, I can always buy more, but then stopped that thought. It shouldn’t be that easy to replace. I’m just going to let them bloom, stay as long as they wish and move into a new season.

Seasons are temporary and I look forward to seeing the Hydrangea in the spring. Until then, I can have peace in knowing I didn’t try to make it stay. All I did was let it bloom.

Mama Knew Best

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Harnessing a good night’s sleep became a priority. I took it for granted by assuming going to bed meant sleep.

One night I was watching a show on my laptop in bed. An advertisement came on of an ‘All Natural Sleep Aid’, and it was safe for children. I thought how fitting being advertised here, but we probably wouldn’t need it if it wasn’t for online viewing. The sad part is they targeted children.

How not to get a good night’s sleep. Photo by Ludovic Toinel on Unsplash

Growing up, I never viewed TV in the bedroom. It was a family affair where we all sat in the den and watched something together. It was a big night if we got popcorn and could sit with our drinks in the den. There was only one TV, in black and white, with no remote. (Telling my age) It was literally a box with legs sitting in the room’s corner.

Mama turned it off at a certain time for all 4 of us to get ready for bed, but I knew Twilight Zone came on at 11:00 pm. That was the scariest show on TV in my day, which is lame compared to now. After everyone had gone to bed and the house was still, I tip-toed into the den in time for Twilight Zone and clicked on the TV.

I sat on the floor as close to the TV as I could get, to keep the volume low, but still hear it. You’ve probably already guessed; I didn’t get away with this. Mama got up to check that we were asleep and saw the glow of the TV screen. I don’t know which was worse, getting caught by Mama, or being scared shitless by watching The Twilight Zone at a young, impressionable age.

It’s hard for me to watch scary or intense shows before bed, so I choose a calm one. It helps to stop watching shows in bed altogether. If there’s something I want to watch, I sit in the den, or at the kitchen table to enjoy, but I’m mindful to shut it down at a reasonable hour. I want my bedroom to be a haven for sleep. It loses that peaceful aura when I walk in with a laptop.

Our Munchkin cat ‘Chombus’ has no problem sleeping on my daughter’s bed.

This is just one of the many instances in my life where once again, Mama knew best.

This is Part Three of how I achieved a good night sleep. Part One is A Good Night’s Sleep, Part Two is Know Your Flow.

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Faith than Fear

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To be a Badass woman, you gotta have a mentor. Another badass woman.

My friend sent me this meme this morning. It was in her FB memories, and I had tagged her on it two years ago. Today she returned it and it’s just what I needed to see.

blossoming

This is the same friend I meet for coffee when time allows. I wrote about her in Women Like Us. I aspire to be her level of badass. The words that jumped out at me this morning were, ‘more faith than fear.’

It’s as simple as that.

My daughter is home from England.

She flew there March 11th and three days later, all flights were canceled. It would have been easy to let fear creep in, but I’m too stubborn for that. My Mama was a badass woman and she raised one.

I had faith my daughter would return home eventually, but with each passing day I didn’t see any indication from the airlines. That is when my talks with God became more ‘high spirited’ and I laid all that fear at His feet. My fear was overcome by faith.

When my daughter’s text came in that said, “Virgin is still operational, I’ll be home tomorrow night.’, I burst into tears!

The tears were a combination of relief and joy. I knew God had heard me and He knew I couldn’t take much more. I reached out to my friend and asked her to ‘pray that girl home with me’, and she jumped on it. I’m grateful to all of you for praying.

Thank you my friend for reminding me to continue blossoming into a Badass woman with more faith than fear.

Google Can’t Laugh

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I bought the most obnoxious wreath. I had to warn my daughter that my crazy was unleashed and sent her this picture.

wreath

She’s in England and I was going to let it surprise her when she walked up to the front door, but couldn’t resist sharing it.

Today, I’m not sure when she’s coming home. Her flight from England was canceled. I have to let it go and lay it at His feet. God has a plan, I just can’t see it yet.

She messaged me this morning and asked if I was okay. Of course I am, but I told her, “Google doesn’t laugh with me.” (We have a Google Home Mini) My daughter has the app on her phone and she loves reading my history of what I’ve asked. Now, I’m wondering what all I’ve asked! 😂

About a week ago, the power went out. I found myself saying, “Hey Google? Is there a wreck nearby?” My daughter just screamed out laughing. We both did. FYI…If the power goes out, little Google Home dies. I’m still laughing while typing this.

crazy

We laugh all the time. It’s not something we try to do, it’s just part of living this life together. It’s fun! When I asked Google, “Hey Google? Can you laugh?”, it said, “Sorry. I haven’t learned that yet.”

Poor Google. You need to learn to laugh.

Dear Team at Google. Google can’t laugh.

Rise Above It

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My daughter is in England. She messaged me this morning, “We are on the coach heading to Manchester!” I said, “Are the horses pretty pulling the coach?” 😂

I appreciate all of your suggestions for Name This Meeting, but I’ve placed it back in drafts. That’s not how it’s done. The name of the meeting is chosen by the group, so for now it’s called Women of AA.

♥ ♥ ♥

My daughter loves to fly.

When I took her to the airport yesterday, it was empty. The media will cause fear and panic. Fear is like a flame that spreads like wildfire, but this made our experience better. She wasn’t on a crowded flight.

Women like us don’t follow the masses.

We stand our ground for what’s right.

We make mistakes, but learn from them and move on. We’re not too proud to admit we got it wrong because we are willing to turn it around by doing what’s right.

My daughter reminded me of this.

It may look dark and cloudy, but once the plane rises above the clouds, you can see the sun. It doesn’t stop shining, and my God doesn’t stop handing out grace.

If a storm is brewing in your life, let me encourage you to rise above it.

inflight
Photo cred. Simplysemloh