Tag: relationship

The Softer Side

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I changed my WordPress Theme again, and will probably keep changing it until I find one the right one, so bear with me. My friend Jeanne over at Still a Dreamer messaged me saying she couldn’t find my previous posts. Taking a closer look I realized there was no footer, just endless posts. Thanks to Jeanne speaking up, I enabled the search feature in the footer.

While there, I changed my tagline, and I knew a change was coming, just didn’t realize it’d be so soon. My previous tagline came from a small poster I purchased locally almost a year ago. It hangs by the coffee bar as a reminder to, “Never settle. Don’t even think about it.” I was looking at it the other day and it’s safe to say I have that one nailed, because I’m still single! 😂

One of my favorite women of the world was and still is Kate Spade. I have to be careful going down the Google rabbit hole because eventually I’ll start seeing some of her stuff. I love her style, it suits me, and Google knows it. I saw a quote by her recently, and this quote feels more like me.

The rabbit hole led to Etsy.

It’s softer and I want to nurture that softer side.

Considering I just went to the grocery store to purchase flowers, there is a softer side. I picked up a few groceries as well, but my main objective was flowers. I wanted to end my day by seeing flowers and start the day seeing flowers and who knows, a year from now maybe I won’t be single if I funnel some of the energy from being a strong woman over to the softer side.

A Good Sign

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Three weeks ago, I reactivated my Bumble dating app, and it was similar to flipping a switch on a revolving door of men. There’s so many men named Michael, I had to start categorizing them by the town they live in. There’s a few things I’ve noticed at this stage of my life in finding the right one.

  • There’s no rush. The tricky part is finding a human not in a rush.
  • I’m still willing to drive the distance, but under an hour is sweet.
  • Someone who loves their life, but would like for you to join in.
  • My prayer before each date is, “Keep my ears open and mouth shut.”
  • Laugh your asses off together, and in the same moment.

The hug is the litmus test, and it shouldn’t be quick. It’s when you’re willing to hold each other as long as possible, before it becomes awkward. Where you simply relax in each others arms, and breathe it in. That’s a hug.

Looking back at the men I’ve hugged there was one thing I always did near the end. For some reason, my hand would automatically pat him on the back. It was an odd feeling, and the men didn’t appreciate it, but eventually I’ll hug someone, and my hand won’t automatically pat him on the back.

That will be a good sign.

P.S. If you haven’t met Michelle GD, you need to. She’s a blogger here at WordPress and she hosts a monthly workshop entitled, ‘The Quiet Page.’

To Be Bothered

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I’ve been told, “Life isn’t a fairytale”, but I live like mine is. The people who are a part of my life see it. Every now and then, I watch a romantic movie to be reminded of the love I know is out there, because I’ve lived it.

I may have recently watched the Nicholas Sparks movie, ‘The Choice’. The kind of love portrayed in this movie is rare and not for the faint of heart. It’s difficult to find someone willing to fight for this kind of love. When they wrap their arms around you and hold you tight, your entire world falls apart and lands at your feet, but the pieces pull back together better than before.

I work a lot, so the man will need to insert themselves into my life and not be afraid to take up space. I know he’s there because I’ve had the kind of love described here. The kind that when you spend time together, you could write for days because your heart is so full it wants to spill all over the keys.

Back to the movie, they are neighbors and bother one another to no end. He plays music loudly while she’s trying to think and gives him hell for it. In one scene, he starts walking slowly toward her, and she’s becoming uncomfortable that he’s walking so determined and with intention. Once he reaches her and they’re standing nose to nose he says, “You bother me.”

The other day a man called, and I didn’t hear my phone ring. I sent him a text, telling him I was sorry to have missed his call, but he’s welcome to call back. He said, “Well, I don’t want to bother you.” To get to the fairytale, I want to be bothered.

Feel the Music

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Okay lovelies, this is about as country as I can get. I’ve been following this little guy for years, and he’s finally becoming more well-known. Here’s his new release and my December theme song.

I begin pondering December in November, and now that we’re fully into December, I’m relishing it! Taking stock of what this year has brought, and discerning what follows me into next year, but making sure to leave ample room for new. December is opportune time to make edits to your story, and I’ve been making minor adjustments and tweaks to mine, but there’s one thing I know for certain. A non-negotiable and this song says it all.

If you can’t put your heart into it, for the love of God don’t do it! If you’re in it, you’d better be in it, for the love.

Charlie Worsham
Charlie Worsham-For The Love

I Need To

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Earlier this week while writing my Morning Pages, I noticed the final paragraph was filled with these three words, I need to. There’s a smallish list of things I’ve been setting aside that my heart wants to do.

I need to write some letters to friends, and have been wanting to for weeks. I need to fill out an application for free parking at the lake for my truck, and hopefully have my paddleboard in tow. My board hasn’t been dropped into the water all year. I need to keep calling around about a new windshield for my truck that was hit by a rock and cracked. Things like that.

This month I’ve been looking at commitments, and diving deeper into them. It really made me take a look at what I’m committed to and the quality time I give those commitments. I need to recommit to dating because right now it feels like men are making an appointment to see me. My two jobs are taking all of my commitment, but that’s not good for the mind, body, or spirit in the long run. We need to carve out time for what feeds our hearts.

That night I was reading my Magnolia magazine during a huge thunderstorm. What began as a distraction from the thunder and torrential rain became just what I needed. I didn’t realize this month’s issue was focused on commitment, until I read what’s posted below by Joanna Gaines. This year, I’ve learned to have commitments without projecting any particular outcome and it’s a very freeing experience to just remain committed, no matter what.

“So, as I sit here now, thinking about the pursuits and the people I’m committed to, I’m not worrying about outcomes, or how they should look through the lens of a culture that so highly values results. Because maybe the true purpose of being devoted to something isn’t found in how it ends, but in the way it takes shape~~or even ends up shaping us~~along the way.” ~Joanna Gaines.

So, my lovelies, this weekend I’m going to find some stillness to hear my heart and do what it says I need to.

Love Me Back

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A member of Fearless Warrior reached out to me wanting to know my whole story. She had read the About page on my Blog and said, “There’s a gap between leaving your marriage and where you are now.”

I tried to summarize the woman she knows today on a Zoom. There’s over 800 published posts between where it began and what you’re reading now. With every click of the publish button, I left ‘that me’ on the page. Each new day brought a newer me, so I told her, “It’s all in the Blog.” Writing is my therapy.

About a week ago, I found this meme and it pretty much sums up my life. When we leave a broken marriage, unhealthy relationship, or anything that’s not suited for our needs, there’s going to be a gap. It’s up to us how we choose to fill the void.

The options are endless, but you know I like to keep things simple. Instead of pulling something or someone from the outside in, I poured what I already had on the inside out. When I chose everyday to love my life, one day life decided to turn around and love me right back.