To write what scares you.

I have to say, I don’t do that, but am willing to try. The scariest thing for me is an intimate, one on one relationship, with a man. I haven’t been able to obtain a lasting one, so I stopped being open to that.

It’s going to be up to God, not me. I have a list of reason’s ‘not to’ participate worthy of a scroll. Like other women my age, I know what I don’t want. That’s easy, but I’m now at a loss of what I do want. Life is simpler alone, but we’re not designed to be alone.

I had a conversation with God over the weekend about it. I was driving into town, just laying it at his feet. On the way back home, I saw a church marque that said,

God created you for more than what you settled for.

Have I settled into this life?

Last night, I went to our local pizza place to pick up dinner. A gentleman who works there opened the door, and stood there holding it open, even though I wasn’t allowed to walk in. I chatted with one of the cooks, took our dinner, and turned to leave.

The receipt fell to the ground, and I paused to bend down and pick it up.

The stranger holding the door said,

Just keep doing what you’re doing, and you’ll be alright.

I thought that was an odd thing for a complete stranger to say, so it must have been a message from above.

Messages like that are for all of us.