Tag: #relationships

That’s True Love

My daughter will be gone most of the day, but we begin each day together. She makes a Chemex, because she has it down to a science, whereas I do not. I sit in the den anticipating that magical cup of brew.

This morning she did something so special. She has this coffee cup she knows I love. It’s just the right size, and I use it when she’s not here.  When she is here, she usually uses the cup, but not this morning.

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Blue bottle coffee cup.

She sat the cup on my side of the table.

This was a special moment to receive this cup from her. It was a small gesture, and maybe to some go unnoticed, but it’s how we show our love and care.

The smallest of things create magical moments.

While she is out and about adulting, I began thinking what I could do for her. We have this inside joke now that she is almost 20 years old. I tell her she doesn’t need me nearly as much as she thinks she does, but there is this one thing she loves for me to do. Wash her sheets in perfume wash.

She’s jokingly asked if I will come and change her sheets the rest of my life. Well darling, maybe not every week, but when time allows, I will do that. It was 32 degrees this morning, so her favorite flannel sheets are being washed in perfume for her bed.

For me, it was getting to use her cup in her presence, but for her it will be these sheets.

That’s true love.

Used by God

I logged back onto my Facebook account.

I’ve been away for 6 months, and didn’t miss it.

When I joined SC Lourie on the November Soul Reset, she sent out an email with an invitation to join a FB group. Being a part of a group allows you to be supportive of others. I’ve been able to do that, but social media doesn’t fulfill me like real life.

This weekend, I saw my first commercial where this guy mows his lawn, and it turns out perfectly. He posts a picture on social media, and receives over 100 likes. He is standing there on his lawn, phone in hand, beaming! Is that what life has come to?

hand thumbs up thumb black and white
Photo by Tookapic on Pexels.com

Yesterday, I made a conscious effort to help others. While running some errands, I asked God to use me. Walking into the grocery store, I smiled at people, and a few smiled back, while others looked away.

Once in the checkout line, a lady pulled up behind me in a motorized shopping cart. The front basket was filled to the brim, and I asked if she wanted help unloading it. She hesitated before saying ‘yes’.

As we were unloading her items onto the conveyor belt, I noticed she was moving very quickly, like she couldn’t get it done fast enough. I touched her arm, and said, “Slow down lovely. I’m in no hurry at all.” She smiled in relief and thanked me for my help.

After the grocery store, I went to buy firewood.

pile of wood logs
Photo by Luka Siemionov on Pexels.com

This girl in her 20’s came out to meet me, and we talked about multiple options of how much wood. She ‘liked’ my jacket, and I ‘liked’ hers, so while loading the wood we talked about jackets. I followed her inside the store, and paid for the wood.

Before leaving, I reached over and gave her a hug.

She hugged me back tightly. I don’t recall ever being hugged that enthusiastically by a stranger. She needed that hug. Thank you God for using me.

Feel the Music

Mr. Smith and I have different taste in music.

He doesn’t listen to ‘radio’ music. He will sit at his laptop for hours, headphones in place, and dig until he finds what feeds his soul. I believe music is like a therapy session for him, and I’m all for that. Smith knows the true meaning of  “Feel the Music.”

The Clean Spot

Recently, my daughter told me something that I could have taken the wrong way. She said something to the affect of, “I’m not sure you taught me good things growing up.” Here is her example.

While she was growing up, I didn’t want to get upset over a spill, or if she dropped something on the floor, and it made a mess. I enjoyed showing her the proper way to clean up the mess. Life can get messy, and it was my job to show her what to do if it did.

I’m her Mama, not her lifetime repair woman.

To make light of the situation, I would tell her, “After you clean up that mess, it will be the cleanest spot in the house!”, and that became our motto.

She was at a friends house helping them do laundry.

She spilled some laundry detergent on the carpet.

The detergent was blue, and the carpet was white.

She said as she was down on her hands and knees, scrubbing the carpet, she was shaking her head and laughing at my voice in her head! She said out loud, “This is going to be one heck of a clean spot!”

She had heard those words many times before.

We were newly on our own, and standing in the check out line of a grocery store. The check out line was always a stressful moment because she was hoping I had enough money to pay for the purchases. What she didn’t know was, I had already tallied them up in my head to avoid embarrassment.

She wanted to be helpful, and insisted on carrying the milk to the car. She looked so small, holding that gallon of milk. It was gathering condensation being out of the cooler, and was slippery. She was trying to hold onto it, but it didn’t take long for it to slip from her hands, and go crashing to the floor.

She was sure everyone in the store was looking.

The gallon of spilled milk looked more like a lake.

The cashier sympathized, and called for a clean up.

I placed my arm around my daughter’s shoulders and guided her mortified body to the exit saying, “That’s gonna be one heck of a clean spot.”

I Scare People

I love on people. That’s what I do. It’s scary to some.

I refer to almost everyone who crosses my path as ‘lovely’. If you’re a man, you will be called, ‘darling’. If I see you in person, you’re going to get a hug. In today’s world, this can be misinterpreted as flirting.

This is why it took so long for me to reply to comments. If you comment on my writing, you’re going to receive a bucket of love dumped on you. That’s just who I am, so consider yourself warned.

It’s my way of giving to the world through love.

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Photo by Nathan Lemon on Unsplash

I have a male Blogger friend with a lovely wife.

He commented on one of my posts, but when I responded, he was very quick to tell me how much he adored his wife. Haha I knew he was married, and respect what they have. Once he saw it’s who I am we became friends, and I adore him to this day.

What this Blogger did for me is immeasurable.

He let me practice responding to his comments.

We became soulmates in this virtual community. All of our comments were not published because they would be misconstrued. We encouraged one another to become our authentic selves. He hasn’t Blogged all summer, so I hope he’s writing a book.

Even though he’s not here, what he taught me is.

To the waiter in the restaurant, I say, “Thank you darling.” To the cashier behind the counter, “Have a glorious day lovely!” I can feel them being lifted up.

And to the soul reading this, ‘Welcome to my world’, but don’t be afraid. You’re supposed to feel loved.

How You Leave

When you leave a relationship/marriage, it’s important how you leave. When the day came for me to leave, I was thoughtful. We had spent half our lives together and I didn’t want it to look like a wreckage. He already felt like his world was ripped apart.

We have to show life how we want to be treated, so life knows how to treat us in return. Do the next right thing.

It was my choice to leave. He was in denial, and it took time for him to be okay with how things landed. The amount of time is per person.

change

My daughter and I discussed what to take with us. We didn’t need a lot of ‘things’, to make a new life.

We chose a few furniture pieces we loved, and wanted to live with. We still have those foundational pieces, but after we left, you couldn’t tell.

The cabinets held the most difficult choices.

We had collected a lot of beautiful things in our time together, but I wanted to leave some beauty. We collected pottery by Bill Campbell, and had full place settings by him. I left them in the cabinet. We had professional grade cookware, but I only took half.

We had two of a lot of things, so I left the one he liked best, all the way down to the measuring cups.

I couldn’t bring myself to pack up in front of him, so I waited until a few days before the move was scheduled, and packed. He stayed away during the move, but he hired movers to get us moved safely.

The moving truck arrived at our new home before my daughter and I did. They were on a schedule, so they unloaded the truck without us being there.

My daughter still talks about that day, and laughs about what we walked in on. Everything that was on the truck, was sitting in the middle of the house!

It looked like a big ball of furniture and boxes!

The movers looked at us and said, “We didn’t know where you wanted everything.” We didn’t know either, but in time we unraveled that big ball and created a world we wanted to live in, and we do!

Recently, I was at my ex husbands home, and he was at the kitchen sink washing some of those pieces that were left. He thanked me for leaving them, and especially his favorite measuring cup.

Time does heal. They just don’t tell you how long.

Be mindful of how you leave.

Smells Like Love

My daughter left yesterday to spend the weekend with her Dad. This morning, sitting where we usually sit together, I had an odd thought. “I’m gonna miss hearing, “I love you.”

I had an appointment to get to, but when it was over I Googled the nearest location of Bath and Body Works. When my daughter gets home Monday, I want her to know I was thinking of her. A couple of weeks ago, she walked into my bedroom and said, “Wow! It smells so good in here!” It was a new Wallflower of one of my favorite scents, but I unplugged it and put it in her room. It is now empty.

I’m really big on smell. It’s important, and it seems to be a large part of who I am. From giving people a hug, to someone walking into my home, it brings me joy to hear, “Wow! You smell good!”, or “It smells so good in here!”

It’s a combination of things. Our lotion is made by a woman locally, and smells amazing. Every now and then we wash our clothes in Tyler Wash, and that’s like washing them in perfume. It takes time for this to happen, but it’s pure magic when a room envelops a fragrance, and it fits that room. That is what happened when I gave my daughter the wallflower. It was my favorite scent, but became hers.

You want to stand in her room and inhale deeply.

Standing in front of the display of Wallflowers, it took a while to find the right one. Scanning the display for the name of the fragrance, my gaze froze when it landed on this. A candle was sitting to the left of the display, and I picked it up to purchase without even smelling it first!

iloveyou
Photo cred. B&BW.

Now, I can walk by the candle, see those words, and say it to myself. Smelling the candle burn, it sure smells like love.