He’s Always Watching

It’s the weekend, but I’m in full work mode.

I used to think waking up at the crack of dawn on a weekend was horrid, but by 9:30 am, I had showered, dressed, and completed most of my work. For a little while anyways. I decided to go to the hardware store for a change of scenery, and some air.

I grabbed a blouse to throw on over my tank top, and hopped in my truck. I hadn’t worn this blouse in a very long time. It’s the most delightful fabric, like gauze really. I love the way it feels, and the rhinestones complimenting the embroidery.

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It’s very delicate, so I made a mental note…Don’t get it dirty!

It’s a little fancy for the hardware store, because I always browse through the plant area, and of course I found a plant to bring home. Someone struck up a conversation, so I hoisted the plant onto my side, and enjoyed the social interaction.

All of a sudden, I felt dampness seeping through my tank top, and realized the potted plant was leaking water. The bottom of the container was dirty, so I had a nice muddy, wet spot on my tank. I panicked and looked at my blouse.

The blouse had safely moved out of the way before the container landed on my side. I paused a moment and thanked God for protecting my blouse.

He knows when I’m focused on work, and not mindful of my surroundings. I think a lot of times we look for God to move in a big way, or reveal an earth shattering revelation, which He will, but we’re tested in the small things first.

He protected my blouse from a stain that probably wouldn’t come out. That’s my kind of God. He’s always watching.

What Kind of Writer Are You?

I can tell what you read, by how you write.

I have read all of Melody Beattie’s books, and am now finishing up two books by Marianne Williamson. My writing has evolved over time, but this is where I sit. In a calm, quiet space. Allowing the words to fall to the page.

Much like life itself, there aren’t many rules for me.

I’ve tried making a schedule like I do for work, but no joy there. Writing is a large part of who I am, so it comes from the heart. It’s a feeling I get, like I can feel the words welling up inside me. There is no schedule for that.

I’ve tried writing for other people, and that doesn’t work either. I cannot become something I’m not.

When we first moved to this little house near the city, I thought it would be fun to write for a local paper. Not a big one, just a small town vibe.  I called one and gained valuable insight. I spoke with the editor and told him I am a writer and would like to write about the town. I would share my stories with him, and he could place them in the community section of the paper.

He asked, “Are you a journalist, or someone who writes, and calls himself a writer?”

Come to find out, a journalist has to be news savvy. I haven’t watched the news in years and don’t read a paper. I was grateful for our conversation and happy to have spoken with him. He confirmed what I already knew. I’m a writer.

The only thing I need to know that would be newsworthy is, “When is Jesus coming back?” I’m pretty sure we will know.

So, “What kind of writer are you?”

When Stork Stares

IMG_20161128_104228This morning, Stork perched on the railing of this pier. He felt me watching, turned his head and stared straight back. It’d been years since he did that.

The stare was an acknowledgement. “You are sitting still, watching, and I have your full attention. Good!” It was scary, but exciting at the same time! If you don’t know about the Great Blue Heron in my life, you can read more here. Stork is my sign from God that I’m right where I’m supposed to be.

My morning meditation, “You are on the path of my choosing.

To be on the path of God’s choosing. It may begin on a path we choose, but God will come in and straighten it out. He is always with us on our journey, and if we lose our way, we can follow Him. He doesn’t judge, and loves unconditionally.

That is my hope.

 

 

 

 

Complete the Lesson

I love seeing God walk through my life.

I was mopping earlier, and had a revelation. When you are focused on a task, He whispers. It used to happen while vacuuming, but this house has carpet in only one room. He knows it gonna take longer than one room for me to hear Him, so it’s while mopping.

Change starts from within. If you have a situation in your life that your gut, or instinct feels unease about, look in the mirror. How long do we allow it linger before addressing it? I purchased a couple of online courses this year, and didn’t complete them. These courses were offered on a donation basis, so there again, not a lot of money.

There was a time I thought you had to invest a lot of money for it to be meaningful, but I no longer believe that. The lesson is always worth the price, no matter how large, or how small. We just need to complete the lesson.

I saw a shift in my writing after we returned home from Missouri. It’s like I have this new, non Cancerous body, but God is still trying to get down to the good stuff.

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My best guess as to why I didn’t complete those lessons is…I was uncomfortable. They hit something within that I wasn’t ready to see. So, I grabbed my planner, and wrote that in there. Complete the lessons! Then of course my mind was flooded with all the ‘what if’s.’

I’m going to stifle the ‘what if’s’ today, and roll in obedience to God. Whatever it is I wasn’t willing to see before, I am ready to see now. To begin any change, acceptance is a good place to start. I want to make sure to complete the lesson.

To Be Seen

We are only given one life. God gave me this Blog title before I fell asleep lastnight. Facebook revealed to me this morning, it was 3 years ago today that I wrote my first Blog.

It doesn’t feel like 3 years ago, but looking at my life today it makes sense. I have simplified my life so much, and I’m still doing it today. My daughter and I have this joke about driving, and getting distracted by the sunset. She would be the one arriving home late because she was taking pictures of the sky.

It takes time to unlearn what we’ve learned.

When my daughter and I starting living together on our own, I recall a moment of us getting dressed and ready for the day. She was frantically trying to get ready, and out the door, as I stood there feeling a building pressure of being late again. Then I had a life changing revelation.

I looked her way and said, “We’re not in a hurry.”

After spending most of my life rushing, this was huge. We were not on anyone else’s timetable anymore, so we got to choose how to live our lives. Our lives were pretty much a blank canvas at that point, so we had the opportunity to fill it in as we pleased.

We stopped rushing, and began enjoying our life.

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When I see my daughter rushing today, I still tell her, “We’re not in a hurry.” I think I say it outloud for my own sake as well. It’s like a reminder for both of us.

This took years of downsizing, and my flesh having fits because I thought I needed that ginormous house. God gently moved us from one house to the next, each time they got smaller, and we were forced to let go of more things. When my daughter and I moved for the first time into our own little house, that was a defining moment for me.

We only took the things we loved.

There was so much stuff in that house, you couldn’t tell anything was missing when we left. We have moved twice, so we have given away a lot of what we thought we loved. We continue to simplify our lives.

Yesterday, I rearranged the furniture in our den. I woke up this morning excited about walking into a newly designed room. It caused me to take notice of something that has not been used in a while. My daughter’s desk. She has been doing her schoolwork at the dining room table this year, when she has a perfectly good desk. It’s just cluttered up.

To see our lives, and all the opportunity it holds, will take some uncluttering. She has a bookshelf behind her desk that can be made more useful. When she returns home tomorrow, she will have a clean, inviting desk, and a bookshelf housing what she needs.

Enjoy your life. It’s waiting to be seen.

Stay the Path

I slept through the night. That in itself is a miracle.

I woke up thinking about a Blog I wrote lastnight before bed entitled, How to Fly. I wanted to pull it up, and delete it because I wasn’t happy with it. Since when is this Blog about me? I just write what’s on my heart.

It’s Tuesday, but I don’t have Chemo. Week two begins of the three week break. There is no feeling of dread this morning. No dark cloud following me around. It’s a new day full of possibilities, and more healing.

If there’s one thing I’ve learned about life it’s this. There is a reason, and a season for everything. God doesn’t reveal the reason for the season while you’re in it, but as you stay the path, it becomes more clear.

A season can last a long time.

I have a friend that has been battling Breast Cancer a lot longer than me. To look at her circumstances, it seems to be getting worse, and not better. Let me tell you that God gives His biggest battles, to His toughest soldiers.

When her battle is over, it’s going to be obvious that God did for her what she couldn’t do for herself.

I have another friend that is in a season of quiet. She doesn’t feel she is being used by God.

This woman has been used by God her entire life. She introduced me to a church that reconnected me to God, and she was my daughter’s Nanny for a short time. She brought joy and laughter to our lives, and years later, she still does.

When you are in a season of quiet, that stinkin Devil will walk in and make you doubt every aspect of your life.

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I have been in a season of quiet for a long time. Going through Chemo has made it challenging to write. The toxins alone mess with your mind and body, and give ample opportunity for the devil to kick you while you’re down.

I started questioning my mission, and pondered maybe I should stop writing. Am I reaching people, or helping them in any way? I have to believe that God will use this Blog to encourage others. Even if I just reach one.

That same friend that isn’t feeling used by God, took time to encourage me yesterday.

She said she’s encouraged by my Blog.

She has said in the past that she always gets something out of it, and sometimes it feels like it’s written specifically for her. Well my friend if your are reading this, let me assure you that God is still using you. This writer that was doubting her ability to keep writing, has just written another Blog.