Just Say Yes

I didn’t know she is an artist.

It’s not surprising that she is, but she lives right behind me and I was clueless. She sent me a message via Instagram, and like any good neighbor, I stalked her page. Walking over for a visit, we sat down and talked about her art. She laid out her portfolio, and as I looked through it, I was in awe of every, single piece of paper.

She offered to give me one, and this one really spoke to me. I tell myself no too easily, and don’t say yes nearly enough.

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I brought this one home and sat it above my desk.

Over the weekend, I worked on my bedroom. It needed some attention to resume haven status. I noticed how the room has a gold and silver theme flowing through it. Noticing this reminded me of a small trashcan I saw a year ago, and really wished I’d bought it after looking at my room. It would be perfect!

God reminded me that I saw that same trashcan at a store just a few weeks ago. I hopped in my truck, and drove to the store to see if it was still sitting on the shelf. The shelf was empty. 😦

I kicked myself all the way back home.

There was no real reason not to say, ‘Yes’, the day I saw it. Even a year ago, the first time I laid eyes on it, there was no reason not to bring it home. I really struggle with buying simple pleasures for myself. For other people, I’d buy the moon.

That night, I looked at the website of the store with the trashcan. It was available online and could be here with a few clicks of a button. This time there was no hesitation saying yes.

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Walking by my bedroom, I glance at it sitting there shimmering in the light, and smile. I know it’s just a trashcan, which won’t be used often in the bedroom. It’s a rather frivolous purchase, and that’s where I hesitate in saying yes. The silly things are what I enjoy the most, and are usually the most fun.

Someone recently asked, “What do you do for fun?”

I had to think about that a minute. I’ve been in work mode for over a year, and couldn’t think of anything recently that was just for fun. I responded with, “Nothing. I work.” Work can be fun sometimes, right? That was not the answer he was anticipating, and I don’t want to use that answer again.

There is fun in this life my darlings, if we just say yes.

That is Enough

I was thinking about her comment while making the morning Chemex. It was in response to this meme I posted for SC Lourie.

She was having a hard time being a single Mom, but what stuck with me the most was, “I feel like I fail my children everyday.”

I want her to know, that’s so far from the truth my darling.

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I wasn’t paying attention to the pour of the Chemex. The boiling water hit the grounds too fast, and they slid down the filter in spots. It wasn’t pretty, but that’s what distraction does.

It was no big deal. I resolved to drink it, and if it bothered me too much, I’d make another one, because that’s what I do. Start over as many times necessary until satisfied with the end result.

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The Re-do

The only failure is not trying again.

Just show up, and keep trying your best. Start over as many times needed, and you won’t feel beaten. Kids watch what we do, but they don’t grade our performance. They don’t expect perfection from us, but I think we do. You woke up to a new day, and sometimes my darling, even that is enough.

A Rested Heart

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Taking care of your own heart.

It’s something nobody else can do for you. It’s yours, and can only be cared for by you.

It’s trying to get your attention. What it wants, and what you need, are one in the same.

You just may not realize it yet.

My heart is saying it’s time for rest.

A fresh start with a rested heart.

Calm and Peaceful

My landlord texted me this morning.

He and his wife would be in town this afternoon and asked if they could drop by. It was fine by me, but just for a moment, I felt a slight unease. It was past behavior.

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I sat completely still to let the feeling pass. Glancing around the house, it wasn’t perfect, but it was in order. It wasn’t spotless, but it felt good.

I told him I had plans at 11:00, but will be home by 1:00, and got ready to leave the house. There’s an AA meeting I’ve been going to on Sunday mornings. For now, it’s like church and sober community rolled into one. I missed last Sunday and didn’t wish to miss today.

This was huge progress for me.

A few short years ago, I would’ve been scrubbing baseboards to make a good impression, but today, I placed the coffee cup in the sink and left for my meeting.

Last week, I was reading a lesson from SC Lourie’s Soul Reset about ‘People Pleasing.’ I didn’t really see where I met any of the criteria anymore. I can honestly say, I’m kind, but not on a mission to please others.

Today was proof.

When they arrived, they said the sweetest things and loved what we had done with the house. He told his wife they should take pictures, but I don’t believe what they felt would show up in a photo.

By the time they were walking out the door, he had it figured it. It was all the little touches, and the way my daughter and I choose to live that caused him to say, “Gosh Barb. It feels so calm and peaceful.”

Worth the Wait

The candle display looked sparse.

My friend who owns the local Shoppe had placed an order for new ones, but they hadn’t come in yet. The display looked like it was in waiting.

I went back to the Shoppe a few days later, but still no candles. There was a holdup in the shipment, but I could wait. If there’s one thing Breast Cancer taught me is how to wait. ‘You wait patiently Barb, holding the highest expectation of outcomes.’

There’s goodness in the waiting.

More days passed and I called the Shoppe. They had located the shipment and it was to arrive that day or the next at the latest. A couple of days later, I entered the Shoppe to find a breathtaking display. My friend had ordered so many Voluspa candles, the candle display spilled onto other displays.

It seemed like a natural effect for this much beauty.

I’ve written quite a bit about waiting. We tend to wait for the big things in life, but it’s an accumulation of little things that equal big. The day comes where you sit down to write a Blog, and there’s this knowing that every little thing has been worth the wait.

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Take a Bow

Friday has evolved into my favorite day of the week. It marks the end of the work week and envelopes one’s soul in a subtle satisfaction of the here and now. Every task wasn’t completed, but there’s honor in showing up.

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The Sunflower is easily enjoyed in Texas, but thanks to this meme, my perspective has shifted about them. Normally, I look for the Sunflower standing upright and straight. That’s a difficult find with the stem being long and heavy headed.

Today, I see them in this field taking a bow.

We made it darlings. It’s Friday! Take a bow.

Just Be Sweet

There’s memes floating around this time of year about, ‘finishing the year strong.’ It’s tiresome being strong all the time and I want to finish the year more gently. I’m taking the rest of the year off from being strong.

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I’ve been told, “You come across a little strong.” Well, that’s what I’ve become, but it doesn’t have to be who I am.

I’ve also been told, “You’re so sweet’, and not solely from my daughter. Even though she tells me, I’m not very accepting of it. It’s like the words won’t sink into my skin, they swerve.

This morning I had a message from SC Lourie waiting for me. She’s so sweet and that is why I started following her so closely. I tend to follow the heart I want to have.

There’s two weeks left in the year. In what way do I want to spend it? I’m going to just be sweet.

To Feel Embraced

It may look messy, but this feels needed.

I woke up before the dawn and lit my holiday candle. Strolled into the den to grab my stacks of reading from the coffee table. Brought it all into the bedroom and plopped it on my bed. It’s only Friday, but I’m where I need to be.

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Self care doesn’t have to be pretty.

The beauty comes after the care.

The first thing I read this morning said, “One drop of the Lord’s mercy is better than an ocean of the world’s temporary comfort.”~Lysa TerKeurst ‘Embraced’. I can do all sorts of things to bring temporary comfort, but I know where to find that steadfast love and mercy.

I’ve been swimming in the words of SC Lourie and practicing speaking to myself like someone I love. Here’s what I’ve been using.

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My hope for you my darling is to feel embraced.