A Simple Habit

There’s a purple, leather notebook laying open all day. A silver and purple pen rests on top of the pages ready to write. The dark purple ribbon lays across the page marked with today’s date.

This is where I write my tiny things attributing to the self-trust cultivator, or as you fondly call it, The Done List. I’m moving into week 4 of self trust, and week 3 was THE best week. It was the week that I could see it becoming a habit.

Procrastination has left the building. Now, to stick with it.

success

They say it takes 21 days to form a new habit, and I believe that. What they don’t elaborate on is how long it takes to instill it. How long do we have to continue before it becomes a new portion on our plate of life? Well my darlings…it takes months.

Week 4 will be interesting. That is the week the newness wears off, and the excuses arise. I’m going to stick with it though because I’m building to Month 2, where I get to do it all over again!

After 2 months, it will be a habit, and feel natural.

I’ve been thinking a lot about habits. What works for me is to start off small. I would like to have more physical activity in my life, like walking. Yes, it’s been hot, but that shouldn’t keep me from walking. I start out small, and tell myself, “Just walk to the end of the street Barb.” To the end of the street is simple.

As a matter of fact, I did that, but got to the end of the street, and the over achiever in me showed up. Instead of turning around and walking back home, I took a left and walked another few blocks. That killed it because it started to feel like exercise. Here I was with no water bottle, sweating and panting my way home!

Round 2: Barb tries again and keeps it simple.

consistency

I walked to the end of the street, turned around and walked home. No hesitation at the intersection this time, just followed the simple instruction. Victory! It was amazing the difference in the way I felt. It wasn’t that I had completed a marathon.

It was that I kept my word, and didn’t disappoint myself.

We make it a priority to keep our word to others, but what about the one in the mirror? I encourage you to stop putting your desires last on the list. You get this one life, so make room for yourself by creating and implementing a simple habit.

Putting It Off

I finished going through my archives.

I stopped at 2019, but will glance through those as well. Reading each post from 2014-2018 was like reliving Breast Cancer, and seeing how much I loved Mr. Smith, all over again.

It was worth going through twice.

I no longer cringe when people read my archives. I know what’s there, and am happy with the woman who emerged. Going through my archives is something I’ve put off doing for a long time.

I’m done putting things off.

did

It’s funny how they start off small.

Like, taking a shower. I can put something in front of that small task all day long, until I’m sitting here at night with no shower. Running the vacuum. Every time the sunlight hits the floor I see the dog hair, but continue on with my day.

I got my nose pierced. A small thing I’ve been putting off.

Doing the big things, but ignoring the small ones. It’s time to spend the next 30 days cultivating self trust. When a small thing needs to be done, I’ll just do it, and write it down once it’s complete. Instead of a ‘to-do list’, it will be a ‘done’ list.

No more putting it off.

Recharge Your Battery

I crawled into bed, turned off the lamp and noticed my room pitch black. The nightlight was off. My daughter and I have this thing about, “As soon as you get into bed, you notice the nightlight is off and it’s across the room!”

The nightlight is a battery operated candle, and I love the glow it gives the room at night. It’s very soothing, until the batteries die. I got out of bed, walked across the room, pulled it down from it’s shelf, and jiggled the switch.

Nope. It was dead. (Dramatic music)

I walked into the hallway for batteries.

I remembered from previous experience, the batteries are a tight fit. A screwdriver helped pry them out. It’s not worth breaking a nail over. Once the batteries were replaced, it was ready to shine.

nightlight

My thought was, I wanted my batteries to be changed as easily as this nightlight. Just pop out the tired ones, and replace with new. Ours are a little more complex, but I bet you know some things you can do this weekend to recharge.

Learn to rest and not quit. Take some time to recharge your battery.

tired

Get Over Yourself

That’s what my sponsor would say. When I felt alone, or decided to have a pity party, she would encourage me to look outside myself.

To find a need and fill it.

Not my own need, but the needs of others.

today

The first line in one of my favorite books, ‘The Purpose Driven Life’ says, “It’s not about you.” I’m continually reminding myself of that.

Yes, there has been a pattern to my life. In a society focused on self-care, we tend to focus on ourselves a little too much. ‘Take care of yourself first, so you can care for others’, but I don’t believe self-care was meant to turn into self absorption.

I’m glad I had a sponsor who would tell me to get over myself. Anytime I feel that tilt in the scales of, ‘What about me?’, I hear her voice. To live a life on purpose means living outside of ourselves and it’s not always convenient. I’m learning that.

My weekend’s have been spent taking care of me to better prepare for the workweek ahead. Pondering the possibilities of the weekend, I hear that sponsor say, get over yourself.

To Feel Embraced

It may look messy, but this feels needed.

I woke up before the dawn and lit my holiday candle. Strolled into the den to grab my stacks of reading from the coffee table. Brought it all into the bedroom and plopped it on my bed. It’s only Friday, but I’m where I need to be.

messybed

Self care doesn’t have to be pretty.

The beauty comes after the care.

The first thing I read this morning said, “One drop of the Lord’s mercy is better than an ocean of the world’s temporary comfort.”~Lysa TerKeurst ‘Embraced’. I can do all sorts of things to bring temporary comfort, but I know where to find that steadfast love and mercy.

I’ve been swimming in the words of SC Lourie and practicing speaking to myself like someone I love. Here’s what I’ve been using.

affirmations

My hope for you my darling is to feel embraced.

Redefining Self Care

Self-care began as a weekend treat, but now it’s a part of my everyday life. My neighbor saw me sitting outside and asked, “What are you doing Barbara?”

Me: “Staring at a page with a question in the middle of it! It says, ‘I want to say thank you to myself because…'” He just nodded his head and said, “Okay Barbara!” 🙂

It didn’t phase him one bit. He thought it was normal for me to be doing that. I still haven’t filled in the page. How often have I said, ‘thank you’ to me?

thankyou

I can recall a handful of times.

This month I can feel a shift.

I show up for myself everyday, no matter what happened the previous day. To just continually show up and remain present. “Be still and know that I am God”, is one of my favorite verses. A season of stillness is where I am and so thankful to be aware and acknowledge it.

And be good with it.

I can begin filling in the page with, “Thank you Barbara for being still and standing calmly in place.” Just by showing up every day, no matter the circumstances, is a redefinition of self care.

To Be Alone

It’s been an off day.

Friday I told a friend how good I am at being alone. Saturday morning I woke up feeling very alone and I wasn’t very good with it. 🙂

Friday night, I saw this meme before bed.

alone

Walking through my day and going to some of my favorite haunts didn’t do much for me. I read a Blog about online dating and looked at a couple of sites. That was a no.

Trying to find my groove, I hopped in my truck and drove down to the lake. The leaves are changing color and fishing boats were being launched. A woman and her dog were walking to the same spot as me. She smiled, offered an extra chair and we sat.

After introducing ourselves we began to chat.

Her name is Christine and her dog is Cowboy.

She could tell I had a mind full. I told her I’ve been Blogging about self care on Sunday’s and thought sitting at the lake would be inspiring. As I sat there with Christine and watched Cowboy swim around it soothed me.

She said, “What we’re doing is self care, but it’s Saturday and you don’t have to be alone.”

The Care List

The tag was attached to a new pair of jeans. It wasn’t noticeable the day of purchase, but it spoke up weeks later as I slipped them on.

Is it really referring to denim?

To finish this year victoriously, we gotta keep it slow and steady. As the busiest time of year approaches, be aware of time spent.

Make sure you’re on the care list.

tag

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A Peaceful Sunday

My camera roll reflects my life. The caption for this photo would read, “Happy Sunday. It’s ‘be good to you’ day. Which should be everyday, but it’s a little bit sweeter on a Sunday.”

chemex
The Chemex

It’s how this day began.

Sunday has rapidly become my favorite day of the week. What I do today and the care I take, sets the stage for tomorrow. There are no plans for today and no ‘to do’ list that needs checking off. The list will be looked at tonight.

This meme by SC Lourie watered my heart and describes this Sunday feeling spot on.

sunday

It reminded me of the quote, “Enjoy where you are on the way to where you’re going.” My hope is no matter what you do today, enjoy it.

Have yourself a peaceful Sunday.