Be the Mama

I try not to rush anymore, but recently I found myself getting sucked into life’s frenzy.

This morning it was time to stop.

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Photo by Riccardo Bresciani on Pexels.com

I’ve been watching my daughter.

At 19 years old she has wisdom and discernment, and makes sound decisions. I’ve stepped back to let her practice running her own life. Watching how she manages it, and giving her plenty of space. She’s been adulting very well except for this one thing….

She’s exhausted.

Mentally and physically.

Time For a Change

I took a long look at how busy she has been. We both have, but I could also feel a disconnect. We are more than roommates. We actually do this life together, but when she came home Monday from her Dad’s, she sat down and fell asleep in her chair.

Her visits with her Dad haven’t changed since the move, even though the distance has.  He’s only ten minutes away now instead of an hour, but she still packs her duffel bag every Friday, and heads to his home. Stays the weekend and comes back here on Monday. She has three days before doing it all again.

I’m Still the Mama

She communicates with her Dad, and they make their own plans, until this morning. While she slept, I texted him and told him she is staying home this weekend. It was time to step in and be the Mama.

When she awoke, I told her what I did, and she looked mortified that I had stepped in, but you know what else I saw? Relief. And a slight smile.

This weekend she doesn’t have to be an adult. We will spend time together doing whatever we choose.

Today was a good day to step in and be the Mama.

Find Your Dosha

I didn’t complete all four of the stained glass classes.

During the first class, I was with a group of ladies more mature in years than me. The teacher asked us to take turns introducing ourselves, and say why we’re here.

Each lady gave a similar answer. Their kids were grown, had left the nest, and they were looking for something to do.

When it was my turn, I said, “I just want to make something pretty!

I felt odd being there, and didn’t feel I was at that stage of life yet. I’m happy I went, and love trying new things.

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My friend Paula reminded me of this.

I left the class with what I need to make a piece of stained glass. It’s sitting in a box, on a shelf, waiting for the day that the time is right. We have time, but we spend it wisely.

When I took the Ayurveda class, we learned our Dosha’s.

Again, the teacher was a woman more mature in years than me, as was the majority of class attendants. She is a beautiful soul, and I will go back to attend her Yoga class. While taking the test to see which of the three Dosha’s we were, she said, “Most of you will rate high as Vata, or Kapha, and that is normal for our age.” What is normal for our age?

I guess being over 50, it isn’t normal to rate high as Pitta, but I recall sitting in that class, feeling a fire burning within. Finding my Dosha explains a lot, like why I can’t tolerate spicy food, or stand in the sun for very long. Fire meets fire.

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I rated high Pitta, with some Vata, and that is most likely due to my age, but that doesn’t stop me from trying new things. I believe we need to be on a continual journey of learning, otherwise we are stuck with old beliefs.

Marianne Williamson refers to these years as, “Re-greening.”

Sure, we slow our pace, and cannot physically do what we did when we were 20, but I don’t want to be any younger. I don’t know about you, but I finally have time to think!

“Internal work is sometimes done more easily while sitting there thinking than while busily running around. A frantic schedule helps us avoid taking a deeper look at ourselves, but by midlife such avoidance simply does not, and cannot work anymore. Slower lifestyles, candles, and soft music in the house, yoga, meditation, and the like are often signs of an internal re-greening.” (The Age of Miracles, M.W)

Thank you Marianne Williamson, for describing where I am, except the music part. I still listen to it way too loud.Travel-Photo-Quote

If you would like to find your Dosha, shoot me an email. I will be happy to send you the test. Letitgocoach@gmail.com

 

I Don’t Wanna

I didn’t really wanna write today. This is Day 20 of challenging myself to write everyday for 30 days. It comes very easily for me now, but as you can see, I waited all day to do it!

I woke up this morning physically tired. It’s not unusual for a Friday because I just had 5 straights days of driving back and forth to Radiation. It’s a 45 minute drive there, and back, for a 15 minute appointment. Today, I slowed way down, and took some time for myself.

More life. Less rush.

Yesterday, I thought more coffee was the answer to get me through the day. After leaving Radiation, I drove to one of my favorite coffee shops downtown. Beside the coffee shop is one of my favorite shops. It’s owned by a mother, and daughter, and they have some of the prettiest things! They have a floral department in the back, so I popped in there first.

I have become friends with the mother, and she knows all about my Breast Cancer Journey. We talked, and got caught up on each others life. By now, I am standing in front of the cooler gazing at the flowers. I asked about the purple Hydrangeas, but she wasn’t sure they would last long. There were three of them, and one had started to wilt, so the others would too.

She said, “They might last a day.” I told her I would take them and love them for today.

She opened the cooler, and pulled them out. We walked over to the counter where I was ready to pay her for them, but no. She handed them to me with a wink and a big smile.

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I leaned over the counter, gave her a hug and whispered in her ear, “I love you!”

She responded with the same, and I made my way over to the coffee shop. I brought them home, cut the stems short, and put them in water. By the look of them, I knew they would be pretty for at least one day, but I wasn’t sure if any longer than that. When I saw them this morning, they were more beautiful than yesterday! They had perked up and in full bloom!

“When a flower doesn’t bloom, you fix the environment in which it grows, not the flower.” ~Alexander Den Heijer~

 

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Barbara is a Writer, a Letting Go Coach, a Mom to her 17-year-old daughter, and she loves God. When she started this Blog in 2014 Letitgocoach was the name that stuck. She enjoys helping people Let Go of what is holding them back from having a beautiful life. She found out in March of 2016 that she had Breast Cancer. She has completed Chemo, and is going through Radiation. Her life is beautiful, and an example of Letting Go and Letting God. You may connect with her via email. Letitgocoach@gmail.com

 

 

 

Fast or Slow

I used to be afraid of aging. Back then, it was for vanity reasons, but I’m not afraid anymore. I like growing up, and learning new things. Now, if I can just process it all.

I woke up at 6:00 am, grabbed my water bottle, and stepped outside to sit in the porch swing. We have a feral cat that has hung around for a while now. We feed it, but have never been able to get anywhere near it. It looks like she may be pregnant, and as she hopped up on the porch, I heard her purring. She was full of love, and wanting to share it with me.

It took a while, and much circling on her part, but eventually, she hopped up into the swing. I was amazed at being this close to her, so I reached out and lifted her into my lap. She didn’t know what to do. She started kneading my robe, and lifting her face up toward mine. It was scarey for both of us. I wanted to keep my face in tact, and she wanted to love.

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My daughter has me hooked on fresh pressed coffee. I know right? Always the Keurig, but not today! She gave me precise instructions lastnight, so I tried to recall it all this morning.

Get the kettle of water almost to a boil, then take it off to rest a minute. I measured the beans, and placed them in the grinder. Kept looking at them to make sure they didn’t turn to dust. Dumped them in the carafe, poured in the water, and the lid went on with a slight press. It didn’t look right. It wasn’t as dark as hers, but I am learning.

Once it was done, it was a robust cup of coffee. When I poured the cream in, I had to use a spoon to stir it. That was new. Normally the cream would just mix right in, but this stuff was thick! It seemed to take a long time to go through a lot of steps to enjoy this fine cup of brew. It was more than worth it. Maybe not something I do every morning, but I’m happy I did.

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I have spent many years rushing through life. Climbing the ladder of success in one venture, or another. Ignoring my life, and what was happening, woke me up to a failed marriage, and sad children. I had plenty of material objects, and money, but no love.

Today, it’s all about the love, and my cup runneth over.