It’s On Them

I receive strange looks at the pizza place.

People don’t know how to respond when they see me standing behind the counter. I’ve been asked by customer’s, “Why are you here?”

The only answer that fits is, “It’s all God.”

When we pray to be used by Him, be willing to just do it. I’ve questioned why I’m there many times, but now I’m starting to see why.

To interact with actual people.

Working from home has it’s positives and negatives. I love the time freedom it offers, but I interact with people through email.

Over time, I lost my actual people skills.

Being a writer, I can respond to emails all day long, but when was the last time I gave someone a hug, or laughed so loudly it echoed in the room? I was comfortable sitting at my desk, which is a big red flag for God.

It seems when I’m comfortable in life, I’m not doing His will because that is usually scary!

selfworth

I posted this on my Letitgocoach FB page.

For my stat loving peeps, it’s received almost 800 reactions, but what’s interesting is the shares. It’s been shared over 600 times.

The struggle with self worth is real.

Lastnight, a man made a sad attempt at conversation while waiting on his food.

He said, “I guess they’ll hire anybody here.”

I raised my eyes to him and could feel them light up with God’s love as I gave him a smile. He began stuttering trying to back his way out.

Know your worth my darling.

If they can’t see it, it’s on them.

Be a Stopper

I’m not very good at quitting. As soon as that thought entered my mind, another thought followed. ‘You don’t have to quit, but you can stop.’

I’m good at stopping.

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In speaking with a co-worker he said something that has been rolling around my mind for a week. We don’t know each other very well, so he had no idea my love for memes. I noticed he never posted a meme on his Facebook page. It was always a photograph with a description of the event.

He said, “People being encouraged by a saying on a meme. That is the most ridiculous thing ever!”

His comment knocked me back for a moment, but I quickly realized I’ve had that thought before.

At the time, I was scheduling an encouraging meme to post automatically the next morning. A lady thanked me for starting her day with something positive, but then I wondered…’Why are you looking through your phone for encouragement?’

I’ve done it too. Whenever I needed encouragement I’d scroll through my own Facebook page. Hah!

In 2017, I taught myself how to make memes. If you google Letitgocoach, and click images, you will see some, but once I learned, I was ready to learn something else. Making memes is a nice tool to have, but they’ve lost their sparkle in my life.

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Smith and I stopped seeing one another. We had a beautiful journey, but we stopped several times. The time between stops got longer until we knew our journey had come to a close. It was a sweet ending and then I saw a meme he posted on Facebook. He announced his single status in a joking way.

He used a meme and it was humorous, but I thought it ironic that the end of our relationship was summed up in a meme. I’m not hurt by it. I know it’s his way to lighten the seriousness of the situation with humor, so I’m happy he can do that.

I may not be a quitter, but I’m a good stopper.

A Satisfied Life

A job is what you do, while nurturing the dream.

I’ve had a job as a Virtual Assistant for the same company for seven years. It was offered to me around the time I was preparing to leave my marriage. It allows me to stay home with my daughter and support us financially.

I’m happy she was never home alone while I worked, but having this job weakened my face to face people skills. It’s easy to be kind from home.

Social media told me it was okay to stay home. I could use it to touch people. That was disappointing.

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In December I was offered a job at our local Pizzeria. I’ve never worked in a restaurant, or run a cash register. I must not really look the part because people are surprised to see me behind the counter.

Heck, I’m surprised to be behind the counter!

It’s the most fun job I’ve had in a long time.

My past jobs have been serious business. They were performance oriented and I tend to push myself to succeed at what’s in front of me. This is different.

I’m there to be kind. Not overachieve.

sucksess

I’ve been there long enough now where some of the same customers come in, and it’s like seeing family.

The kitchen staff is like family as well.

One of them asked me, “What do you do?”

I gave him my list of skills, helping to run a successful company but he didn’t seem impressed.

On the way out of the kitchen I commented, “And I’m a writer.” He raced out front and said, “Now you have my full attention!” Isn’t that funny?

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It’s only two evenings a week which is perfect.

God pushed me out my front door and into this Pizzeria. I’m in training to be consistently kind. I pray ‘to be kind‘, before walking in the door.

My idea of a successful life, is a satisfied life.

Battery Saving Mode

pexels-photo-733758

In the morning, I unplug my laptop to sit at the coffee table and read, or catch up with friends. 

I use it’s battery as my timer.

Doing things online drains our internal battery along with the laptop.

Right before the battery dies, it gives me a warning and goes into battery saving mode. At that point, I finish what I’m doing and plug it in to recharge.

While it recharges, so can I. 


My daughter and I were standing in line at a restaurant. It’s a very popular one around here, and it was lunchtime. Almost every person in line was scrolling through their phone. It was a sad sight.

How many were in battery saving mode? 

What would happen if we spent that time with the person standing next to us? Engage in conversation, or simply ask, “How are you today”, and really listen. 

This morning, a friend wrote a Blog about social media being draining. That is the biggest time and energy vampire of all. She set boundaries around it, and you can ready her inspiring post here

Writing this post used 60% battery. Step away from the screen and enjoy real life. Don’t live in battery saving mode. 

Used by God

I logged back onto my Facebook account.

I’ve been away for 6 months, and didn’t miss it.

When I joined SC Lourie on the November Soul Reset, she sent out an email with an invitation to join a FB group. Being a part of a group allows you to be supportive of others. I’ve been able to do that, but social media doesn’t fulfill me like real life.

This weekend, I saw my first commercial where this guy mows his lawn, and it turns out perfectly. He posts a picture on social media, and receives over 100 likes. He is standing there on his lawn, phone in hand, beaming! Is that what life has come to?

hand thumbs up thumb black and white
Photo by Tookapic on Pexels.com

Yesterday, I made a conscious effort to help others. While running some errands, I asked God to use me. Walking into the grocery store, I smiled at people, and a few smiled back, while others looked away.

Once in the checkout line, a lady pulled up behind me in a motorized shopping cart. The front basket was filled to the brim, and I asked if she wanted help unloading it. She hesitated before saying ‘yes’.

As we were unloading her items onto the conveyor belt, I noticed she was moving very quickly, like she couldn’t get it done fast enough. I touched her arm, and said, “Slow down lovely. I’m in no hurry at all.” She smiled in relief and thanked me for my help.

After the grocery store, I went to buy firewood.

pile of wood logs
Photo by Luka Siemionov on Pexels.com

This girl in her 20’s came out to meet me, and we talked about multiple options of how much wood. She ‘liked’ my jacket, and I ‘liked’ hers, so while loading the wood we talked about jackets. I followed her inside the store, and paid for the wood.

Before leaving, I reached over and gave her a hug.

She hugged me back tightly. I don’t recall ever being hugged that enthusiastically by a stranger. She needed that hug. Thank you God for using me.

Feel the Music

In the past four years, I’ve had the pleasure of loving two men. I don’t talk about it much, but love has been on my mind this weekend, as you can see from yesterday’s post.

When I began this Blog it was for a couple of reasons.

One-I wanted my daughter to have a place to go, and read about our life together. Two-I wanted to change somebody’s perspective on life. Not the world, just one persons world.

There is a comment sitting in my comment folder that I will not publish, but this Blog changed her world. There is an email sitting in my Inbox from the son of a dear friend. He found this Blog, and was impacted what I wrote in honor of his Mother.

Hearing this song made me think of the people I’ve loved. It was love that changed their world, and loving them changed mine.

I love to love. That’s what I do. One post at a time.

Rooted in Real

After I Bled Out, a shift happened, and I wanted real.

I’ve been a part of and seen the effects social media has on well-being. It wasn’t healthy for me, so I stepped away, and have no desire to go back. This Blog hasn’t been connected to any social media for weeks, but people are finding it, and reading it. My stats didn’t bottom out from no connection.

My soul bottomed out while it was connected.

I stopped downloading books on Kindle, and ordered real ones. The kind you can hold in your hands, and mark up a page if needed. I ordered some magazines for the first time in 20 years for the same reason. Not to mention they are pretty laying on the coffee table for everyone to enjoy.

My screen time is minimal, but present moments abound.

I don’t have to check my phone before bed, and when I awake.

I check in with God instead.

When I started this Blog, it was to have a space that held a recap of our lives for my daughter. I’ve done that, and we are on a new chapter. This new chapter will be in book form, that you can hold in your hands, and feel something real. I want every area of my life to be rooted in real.

These Three Gates

The privacy fence around the backyard has four gates.

One is at the end of the driveway. It has a vine growing along the fence, and up a small arbor, waiting to bloom.

I haven’t discovered yet, where the other three lead.

gate
Gate to driveway.

Whoever built the house, and fence, had a reason, but it’s a mystery to me. I have a neighbor on each side, and one behind me, and a gate opens into each of their backyards. This fence was probably built before social media replaced human interaction. I haven’t had a neighbor in 5 years!

I haven’t written much about the effects social media had on my life, but it wasn’t healthy. God started working on me last year, after ‘I Bled Out‘, and I found myself bucking the trend of social media. There are still no social media apps on my phone, and I rarely take my phone when I leave the house.

This from a woman who spent years promoting a Blog, and encouraging others via social media.

A couple of weeks ago, I disconnected this Blog from all social media outlets. It doesn’t automatically post, once published. It sits right here in the WordPress world.

dwell-as-near-as-possible

I want to dwell as near as possible to where life flows.

I will let you know what is on the other side of these three gates.

It’s Old School

I visit people almost daily. Just to ask how their life is going, and then listen. Sometimes, it’s just for a hug if I sense they need one. Never turn down a heartfelt hug. It’s healing.

It’s old school, and that is where I enjoy being today.

Every now and then, I leave my phone at home on purpose, just to check and see if I miss it. Can’t say that I have. The person I’m with is more important than what my phone is doing. It’s like saying, “I love you more than my phone.”

I wrote this a couple of nights ago:

My daughter and I are sitting here quietly typing on our laptops. She has Classical Piano softly playing in the background. It’s peaceful, and the kind of moment you want to last indefinitely. I appreciate at her young age that she effortlessly creates moments like this. She will pass them along to her family, and they will have moments.

Breaking the ties to my phone, and social media is one of the best things I’ve done all year. To be present, and enjoy what’s happening in the now. My daughter told me in June, “You are always staring at that phone!” Now she tells me when it makes a noise, and I can’t remember where it is.

She doesn’t see my hunting for it, over spending time with her. As Gibbs would say, “It’s old school.”

Mark-Harmon
Gibbs is portrayed by Mark Harmon on the TV show, NCIS.

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The More I Learn, the Less I Know.

I’ve read more books this year, than three years combined.

I’m reading Melodie Beattie’s, Finding Your Way Home, for the second time. It made me desire for more people to have this level of self-awareness, and self-love. When I began this Blog, it was to show people that a beautiful life is attainable. That was my goal, so now that it’s achieved, what’s next?

I really don’t know, but I’m willing to be patient, and find out.

This year, I detached from Social Media. It was very difficult to do, but it’s done. Three times last week, I left the house without my phone. I didn’t turn the truck around to go get it, and had a beautiful time in town connecting with people.

I’ve become a part of the AA community again. Online is not the same as in person. You get to laugh, and hear others laugh, and that hug at the end of a meeting is irreplaceable.

Technology is helpful in the world, but it can’t replace the human touch.

I found it to be easier to post an encouraging Meme everyday, than to spend time sitting with an actual person.

Memes are not moments.

Every new beginning, starts with an ending. Are people willing to draw a line in the sand, and end the life they have to begin again? I don’t know. It takes grit and grace to do so.

The list is long of what I don’t know, but time reveals all. If you asked me, “How long does it take to attain a beautiful life?”, my initial answer would be, “Five years.” Thinking about it more in-depth, it took my whole life up to this point.