Be the Mama

I try not to rush anymore, but recently I found myself getting sucked into life’s frenzy.

This morning it was time to stop.

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Photo by Riccardo Bresciani on Pexels.com

I’ve been watching my daughter.

At 19 years old she has wisdom and discernment, and makes sound decisions. I’ve stepped back to let her practice running her own life. Watching how she manages it, and giving her plenty of space. She’s been adulting very well except for this one thing….

She’s exhausted.

Mentally and physically.

Time For a Change

I took a long look at how busy she has been. We both have, but I could also feel a disconnect. We are more than roommates. We actually do this life together, but when she came home Monday from her Dad’s, she sat down and fell asleep in her chair.

Her visits with her Dad haven’t changed since the move, even though the distance has.  He’s only ten minutes away now instead of an hour, but she still packs her duffel bag every Friday, and heads to his home. Stays the weekend and comes back here on Monday. She has three days before doing it all again.

I’m Still the Mama

She communicates with her Dad, and they make their own plans, until this morning. While she slept, I texted him and told him she is staying home this weekend. It was time to step in and be the Mama.

When she awoke, I told her what I did, and she looked mortified that I had stepped in, but you know what else I saw? Relief. And a slight smile.

This weekend she doesn’t have to be an adult. We will spend time together doing whatever we choose.

Today was a good day to step in and be the Mama.

Battery Saving Mode

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In the morning, I unplug my laptop to sit at the coffee table and read, or catch up with friends. 

I use it’s battery as my timer.

Doing things online drains our internal battery along with the laptop.

Right before the battery dies, it gives me a warning and goes into battery saving mode. At that point, I finish what I’m doing and plug it in to recharge.

While it recharges, so can I. 


My daughter and I were standing in line at a restaurant. It’s a very popular one around here, and it was lunchtime. Almost every person in line was scrolling through their phone. It was a sad sight.

How many were in battery saving mode? 

What would happen if we spent that time with the person standing next to us? Engage in conversation, or simply ask, “How are you today”, and really listen. 

This morning, a friend wrote a Blog about social media being draining. That is the biggest time and energy vampire of all. She set boundaries around it, and you can ready her inspiring post here

Writing this post used 60% battery, so I wish you a beautiful day! Step away from the screen and enjoy real life. Don’t live in battery saving mode. 

Healing in Hugs

I saved the last cookie for my daughter. She broke it in half, and brought half over to me. This is how we live our life.

We are sitting at the table together. She is doing school while I write. There is a difference between living together, and being present. When I stepped away from Social Media, I realized we didn’t hug each other as much as we once did. It was time for that to change. There is healing in hugs.

Some of my favorite daily activities now include, sitting at the counter of my favorite coffee shop, and being present for the person working behind the counter. To walk into one of the shops downtown, and hug the owner for no reason than they’re there another day. People in town wave when they see my truck. How many of those waves were missed?

I freely give my laugh, a listening ear, a smile, and hugs.

My daughter is finding her way through this life, and the only thing I have done different is to be present, and give hugs.

It was awkward at first for me to just walk up and hug her, so to lighten it up, I counted. I’d hug her and say, “There’s one.” In my mind there was a minimum of three a day.

She is almost as tall as me now, but it’s still a hug, and it heals. Somedays three is all we can remember to do, but there are those special days we lose count, and just hug.

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Humble and Kind

I woke up this morning thinking of these words. Humble and kind. They go hand in hand. When I stay humble, kindness  seems to pour out of me. I learned this lesson the hard way years ago.

Then of course, living in Texas, these words reminded me of a Tim McGraw song.

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“When the dreams you’re dreamin’ come to you. When the work you put in is realized. Let yourself feel the pride, but always stay humble and kind.” Do you have a dream you’re dreamin’?

My dream is for people to feel loved. To encourage them through whatever life is throwing their way. I have to believe by starting this Blog in 2014, God will use it to reach people. To let them know that life is a beautiful thing, even when it doesn’t look, or feel very beautiful.

I believe it’s easy to get wrapped up in the likes, follows, and numbers attached to it all. This was a struggle of mine, because I like statistics, but numbers are not always accurate. What about the silent numbers. The people who are in so much pain, that silence is all they have.

I have been touched by those people, so I know they are there. They won’t hit ‘like’, or make a comment, but they breathe in what you’re saying. I’ve received private messages from these wounded souls, and I treasure those messages. The souls without a number attached.

My week has not been pretty. Having frozen water pipes over the weekend, and then running out of gas were unexpected events, but both those things could be easily fixed, with time. I want you to know, that whatever you’re going through will be fixed with time. Time is truly your friend. It may not feel that way right now, but give it time. Time tells all, and heals all.

As I say this to you, I am also saying it to myself. My left breast is burning from the radiation.

I pointed this out to one of my radiation technicians yesterday, and she said it was normal with where I am on this journey. I have reached my limit with the radiation, so my skin will stay burned until it’s over. A couple of weeks, after my last treatment, it will go back to normal. This translates to me that I have two more weeks of feeling the burn, but it will end.

We live in an “I want it now”, society. It’s funny how the lessons show up quickly, but the good things take time. I have spent a lot of time on this Breast Cancer Journey, but so have the people around me. The pace is slow, and is physically and emotionally stretching, but I’m gonna take my own sweet time. Even through the frustration, I will stay humble and kind.

 

mescarf (135x240)Barbara is a Writer, a Mom to her 17-year-old daughter, and loves God. When she started this Blog in 2014 Letitgocoach was the name that stuck. She enjoys helping people Let Go of what is holding them back from having a beautiful life. She found out in March of 2016 that she had Breast Cancer. She has completed Chemo, and is starting Radiation. Her life is beautiful, and an example of Letting Go and Letting God. You may connect with her via email. Letitgocoach@gmail.com