Do It Twice

It’s ridiculous how many times I’ve written, “I’m tired but…”, this year. Penzu sent me a journaling memory that was written a year ago and it started with those words. I’m trying to pause pushing myself through tired.

In my 20’s I acquired an over achiever mindset, so by the time I hit my 30’s I had a successful business and did speaking engagements to teach others the secret to success. In my 40’s life changed, or maybe I did. What looked like a successful life was a very large house empty of the most important thing to me. Happiness. At the age of 49, I blew up my life and hit restart.

I still tend to push myself to over achieve at everything I do, but I’m well into my 50’s now. I have a friend who is younger than me and we Marco Polo almost everyday. She get’s so excited about a new idea or venture she wants to partake in, and I smile and Marco Polo her back with encouragement and an experience from my past of something similar. She’s tells me, “I think you’ve done everything at least twice.”

Ah, but lovely, there’s so much more I’m still willing to do. Our maturity is our ticket to spend less time with job/work, and more time in meaningful work, or simply choose to take on everything in a more meaningful way.

My friend sent a Marco Polo recently with an idea that reflects her heart of gold. I need to Marco Polo her in response because it’s obvious God had a hand in lining everything up. That’s what success looks like for me today. When our preparedness meets His timing, and that will entail laying our heart and hand to something a whole lot more than twice.

Feel the Music

I was driving to meet my friend for our monthly coffee/tea, and heard this song. It was released in 2004, so around 2006 I heard it playing all the time. My mind began flipping through images and they weren’t all pretty, but I could see how far our life has come.

In 2008, I created an email address called abetterlife08. It was a Yahoo account and I named it that to keep those words in front of me while I worked. I can barely remember what happened two days ago, but I still remember sitting in the corner of that home office opening a Yahoo account and naming it abetterlife08. I was 10 years sober and life was better, but I didn’t recognize the man I was married to. When I think about that part of my life long enough, I can feel the tension that home office held.

In 2013 I exited that life.

Standing here in this little lake house 8 years later, I’m overwhelmed by God’s goodness and grace. Did it take 8 years Barb? No, I began seeing a better life the very first year, but it all began with believing there was one. Using that email address kept abetterlife at the forefront of my mind until the time was right to step into a better life.