Prioritize the Meaningful

I just logged off of work, to come over here, and finish this post. This is my happy place, but I tend to make work my first priority. I’m Finding That Balance, to prioritize the meaningful.

Going through my archived posts, was one of the best things I’ve ever done. A year ago, I deleted photos from media to free up memory. That worked, but it also left broken links in the published posts. My God knew that would bother me just enough to have to go in and fix it.

I started at the beginning, (2014) and read almost 500 posts.

At first it seemed overwhelming, and a lot of work, but at the end of 2018, I was pleased with what’s here. In 2017, I caught the first glimpse of the voice I have today, but it took another year to relax into it. I didn’t have to read many posts from last year or this year, because I found my voice, and am using it.

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I saw how many times I almost quit Blogging.

I saw the struggles I’ve had with social media.

I saw so many moments within those archives, but I also saw gradual growth by prioritizing the meaningful.

Other Blogger’s posts I had shared were no longer active. Even if I decided not to Blog anymore, I’d leave this site here. The 30 day challenge took on a whole new meaning while reading 30 straight posts. Won’t do that again. 🙂

On another note, I’m two weeks into the self trust cultivator, and will stick with it two more weeks, and reassess after 30 days. I already see myself no longer putting things off for a more convenient time, or tomorrow.

My plate of life has open space which is new. As I ponder refilling it, it’s time to prioritize the meaningful.

Wait For It

I forced myself to stop Blogging.

When I challenged myself to post a Blog a day in December, over time I hit a stride. That groove of posting everyday became a daily ritual, but was it fulfilling?

On into January, I was still posting everyday, but began to slow the pace. After posting The Mindless Activity I made the decision to stop for one week. That’s not easy once an action becomes ingrained.

It was as if I had created a new daily habit, but I don’t wish to become a daily Blogger.

I thought about it everyday, but told myself to wait. I’d hit the pause button and let the Blog ideas go. I knew from past experience not to pause too long. It’s very difficult to come back to it, with that struggle of paused to restart.

Some wait too long and don’t come back. That’s not for me, but I do want to hit a stride that works. Timing means a great deal while writing. To wait for that stillness, that deafening silence once the dust settles from the day or the week. Even if it drops to once a week, I’m going to wait for it.

During the Storm

Dropping my daughter off yesterday, to spend time with her Dad, she hugged me and said, “Don’t do anything Mom. Be still, and wait on God.”

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Doing what’s right and doing the next right thing is how I enjoy living my life. When I feel mistreated by someone in my life and it happens unexpectedly, I have to pause. My sponsor taught me, “Wait three days before making a decision.” The only behavior I can control is my own.

Some things happened this week that would have not been pretty if I were still drinking. Drinking would have caused an irrational reaction and made matters much worse. Being sober, I get to respond instead of react.

Drinking took pretty out of my life. It clouded my vision and thinking to the point of not enjoying the actual moment. As I sit and type this, I’m overlooking a lake. The breeze is lightly blowing across the water and with the sun hitting it at the same time, it looks like someone just dumped a truckload of glitter onto the surface. I get to see that today.

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There is a small storm brewing in my life right now. It was caused by the actions of others, but it’s still painful. I was listening to Joel Osteen during the drive to the lake. He was talking about being pushed into your purpose. What we feel right before the big push.

God uses pressure to make many things and that includes our character. My daughter saw the pressure I was under and encouraged me not to move. My circumstances are beckoning to be fixed, but I am determined to wait on God. I’m in the birth canal right before the push.

The minute I step in and fix it, His power ceases. I like to think of it as a test. I want to pass it, so I don’t have to retake it. God doesn’t cause trouble, but He will use it to make us better. The more quiet and still I become, the better I can hear. Being sober today shows me options I couldn’t see before. Thank you God for sobriety and for being with me during the storm.