Stop Hurting Myself

I have people in my life who don’t like people. God wants us to love one another, so there’s a challenge here. My mission is to help the hurt. How do I listen to all the pain? I listen, but I don’t take it with me. It’s nothing personal.

When it is personal is when I have the choice of allowing myself to be hurt, or letting it go. When people are hurt, they tend to hurt whoever is nearby. Past experiences have taught them a reliable outcome. Show them different.

blog2There is a page on Facebook that I absolutely love. It feeds the thinker in me, which to most people is my greatest flaw. Thank you for feeding me The Minds Journal. This is a picture they posted this morning and I couldn’t stop staring at it. I have seen similar sayings, but the photo is so dramatic I had to share it here.

When I first got sober, the most difficult part was being able to feel everything. I didn’t have the alcohol to numb the pain anymore, so the feelings were intense. It has taken time to manage those emotions and I still don’t have it where it needs to be some days. I have been accused of being a cold b****, but I see the opposite.

When I allow someone to hurt me, my first response is to back away from them. Doing that would ensure I have a safe and somewhat boring life. It works better for me to take the pain as a lesson learned, and move forward, even if it’s alone.

There is going to be pain and misunderstanding in any relationship. That is part of caring. The pain puts a fork in the road and I choose which way to go on the path. Moving backwards has never served me well, so forward it is.

The good of the relationship needs to outweigh the bad. I have expectations for myself and those flow over into my relationships. I treat people the way I would like to be treated. I’m not willing to lower my expectations to stay. A wound cannot heal if you keep touching it. Let go of the pain in your life even if it’s disguised as a person you love.


blackandwhiteBarbara is a writer and loves being a Mom to her 16 year old daughter. It’s a dream come true for her to be a LetItgocoach and help others enjoy their lives. She hosts Workshops, does one on one Coaching and is working on her first book.  You may connect with her via email.