Trust the Wait

I didn’t do my Morning Pages this morning. I spent time with my daughter before she left for her college classes. Wednesday’s are like that.

I’m still haunted by yesterday’s Morning Pages.

It was basically three pages of questions. Then later in the day I saw these words, “Choose uncertainty over unhappiness.” That is what I chose to do. 

uncertainty

Every thought turned into a question mark.

I envisioned scooping the question marks off the page and into my hand. Then I threw them up in the air as if saying, “Let it all go and see what stays.”

♥ ♥ ♥

This morning I came across a Blog I posted four years ago, and re-posted two years later. What’s funny is I cannot recall what was happening in my life at the time of the post. Reading it gave me the feeling of staring up at a giant while holding a slingshot. Whatever it was is no longer here, and wasn’t memorable. You can read the post here.

♥ ♥ ♥

It’s a change of season and with that uncertainty can visit. That doesn’t mean it has permission to drag us over into unhappiness.

Today my lovely, just trust the wait.

The End Result

My daughter and I went to Houston this week, and saw Noah Gundersen. It was a lovely venue, and Noah is not very well-known yet, so the crowd was small and intimate. Getting there was a struggle. We exited the interstate, were stopped by a red light in a major intersection in downtown Houston, and the car stopped running. It completely died.

She starting crying, but I remained calm, and called AAA.

I was grateful to be with her. God does this all the time in our lives. When one is weak, the other is strong. When she is having a low day, I am on top of the world, and vice versa.

Our circumstances didn’t look very good, but God is faithful. He gives us the tools we need to get out of any situation we’re in. A man pulled up beside us, got out of his van putting himself in danger, wanting to push her car out of the busy intersection. AAA showed up at that point, got us out of the intersection, and the man went back to the safety of his van. We had to stay calm and trust the journey.

Today’s reading in Jesus Calling says, “Put more energy into trusting Me, and enjoying my presence. Don’t let your well-being depend on your circumstances. Instead, connect your joy to My precious promises.” November 5th.

The car was towed to a mechanic, and there was a lady there having her tires checked. She noticed us stepping out of the cab of the tow truck, and asked if she could give us a ride to the hotel. She was a delight, and it surprised her when I gave her a big hug for the rescue. I don’t believe she was accustomed to being hugged, so this small act of kindness caught her off guard. I was grateful for her, and to be standing safely in front of the hotel. It was beautiful!

It took longer to get through our circumstances than it did to drive to Houston. Our hotel was 5 miles away from where the car broke down, but we couldn’t leave. Plus, the Astros had won the World Series the night before, so it was chaotic! What we face may look daunting, but give it a little wink, and trust the journey. The end result is worth it.

noah
Front and center with Noah.

Feel the Music

I know I have been sharing a lot of Christian music recently, but that is what I have been listening to. Allow me to show you how God is trending in my life.

Music was not a part of my life for a season. Four years ago, I had this phone I absolutely loved, and it had free music on it. You may recall, it’s the phone I used to play my praise and worship music on the pier in Praise Him Anyway

My phone carrier stopped offering the free music feature. I just never took time to reload something else on my phone. Hey Satan! Dat You? When my daughter received this stereo for Christmas, music was back in our home. God wants us to hear, and feel the music.

Psalm 95:1 says, “Come, let us sing for joy to the LORD; let us shout aloud to the Rock of our salvation.”

Well…This week, I have been singing so much, and so loudly, my throat is sore.

It all started when my daughter hooked up that sub-woofer. It was more than just hearing it like before. The bass made my chair vibrate as I was writing!

This is song number three this week, but every time it comes on the radio, I jump up and start singing along with it. I’ve danced so much, my dog tries to dance along with me. If my 12-year-old dog gets excited, my hope is God does too. I’m Coming Out!

Through this song, God is saying, “If you could only let your guard down. You could learn to trust me somehow. I swear, that I won’t let you go.” God Uses Scraps.

I do trust Him. He used my Cancer Journey to show me I could trust Him with my life. Literally! If you look at my posts from this week, you can see my guard coming down. He gave me the name Letitgocoach, and I want to live up to that name. He hasn’t let me go yet, so why should He start now? I’m finally to the point of not letting Him go either.

Pulling the Plug

I had to laugh at what just happened. Technology can be our friend, but sometimes it works too well. When it is connected correctly, all you have to do is push one button, and away it goes!

I haven’t used the ‘Publicize’ option on my Blog before. Instead, I have been manually going to every social media site I have an account with, and posting the link to my Blog. We have an option through WordPress for ‘sharing’ our posts automatically through Publicize. By connecting our Social Media accounts to this option, Publicize shares everything we publish!

The photo it uses to display the Blog could be any photo on my site. It may pick my Instagram photo, or my Bio pic, and this bothers me. Do you think it’s a control issue, or perfectionism?

God is showing me I need to take advantage of these tools of automation. So, I connected my Blog to Publicize last week, and haven’t written anything since. Let me stop here to catch you up. What I was playing around with today, that made me laugh will make more sense then.

pulling-the-plug

I was driving home Monday, and started a converstaion with God while driving. This is how I pray, by just having a normal, sometimes one sided, conversation with Him, anytime and anywhere. I asked Him, “What do you want me to do with my life?” He was quick to respond with, “I want you to use everything I’ve already given you.” Don’t you just love that?

This is the point in the Blog where I could run off in three different directions, but I’ll try to stay focused. One of the things God showed me that I haven’t used is Patreon. He showed it to me how long ago?? Oh yeah…..about a year ago! I set up an account, and shared it maybe once, and that was it. I couldn’t wrap my mind around people supporting me financially for writing.

I am writing a book. There are two in process, but God has nudged one in front of the other. I am writing about my Breast Cancer Journey, with big emphasis on the journey. It seems people see Cancer as the dreadful ‘C’ word, and it’s only a label. The diagnosis is not the outcome. It’s only the beginning of what can be an amazing transformation, if you have the proper lense.

God wants me to offer people a new lense.

I went back to Patreon, and redid my page including some detail of the book. Patreon for me is giving people the opportunity to be a part of something big! I will post exerpts from the book on Patreon, and they will be involved in the entire process of the book. The hills and valleys!

***Here comes the funny part in case you are wondering. ***

This morning I downloaded the Patreon logo to use at the bottom of my Blog. I opened up my Blogsite, and started a draft to play around with it. I uploaded the logo, and copied and pasted the url behind it. Being in draft mode, it wouldn’t let me click on the logo, so what did I do? Well…I hit Publish of course!!! Just for a minute so it would activate the link behind the logo!

I refreshed the Homepage of my Blog, and there it was, the ginormous Patreon logo looking like a Blog. I clicked on it, and it took my straight to the page. Success! I just missed one detail. As soon as I hit ‘Publish’, Publicize shot that logo out to all my social media sites as a Blog!!!

stupidpeople

I know I’m not really stupid, but it made me feel pretty stupid! Of course, I went to all my Social Media sites, and removed the post, but I just had to laugh. I had forgotten I had set it up to do just that! If you are wondering, let me assure you, Publicize works, and it works fast!!!

So, here is my first actual Blog using Publicize. Can’t wait to see what picture it chooses!

Barbara is a Writer, a Certified Letting Go Coach, a Mom to her 17-year-old daughter, a recent Breast Cancer survivor, and she loves God. When she started this Blog in 2014 Letitgocoach was the name that stuck. She enjoys helping people Let Go of what is holding them back from having a beautiful life. Her life is a beautiful example of Letting Go and Letting God. You may connect with her via email. Letitgocoach@gmail.com

Whoop! Look who joined Patreon! Click the Giant A$$ Logo to visit my page. (I hope)

patreonlogoorange

Just Believe

Housekeeping walked into my hotel room this morning, and exclaimed, “It smells so good in here!” I don’t know if it was the candle, or the lotion I had just put on, but either way, it smelled like home.

I keep telling myself, “I don’t have to write about Cancer anymore!”

Then, I go and read something where someone is struggling, and feel led to write. You are as free as you allow yourself to be. Your doctor will never tell you those words you long to hear. I don’t know if it’s a legal issue, or a moral issue, but they cannot say, “You are Cancer Free.” If you have done all that you can do, then it’s time to trust God that you are.

letitgo

I was listening to a lady yesterday, and she was referring to some things she wanted to do around her home. Her life is busy right now, which is fine to have that season, but don’t wait. We are not promised tomorrow, so if you are waiting for ‘one day’, that day is today.

I value my time more now, and will change my plans in a heartbeat. It’s about having peace in your bones. If I start doing something, or am getting ready to go somewhere, and I lose my peace…it’s time to be still. I changed my evening plans to work on my book, which I believe God wants me to do while I’m here. It’s peaceful, and I am filled with peace.

Just believe. When there is no one that will validate, just believe you are Cancer free.

Barbara is a Writer, a Mom to her 17-year-old daughter, a recent Breast Cancer survivor, and she loves God. When she started this Blog in 2014 Letitgocoach was the name that stuck. She enjoys helping people Let Go of what is holding them back from having a beautiful life. Her life is beautiful, and an example of Letting Go and Letting God. You may connect with her via email. Letitgocoach@gmail.com

 

A Better Life~Day One

I was talking to a friend a while back about Letting Go. She still harbors some anger toward her ex-husband, so I offered assistance. She said, “I’m not sure I wanna let go! Sometimes I use it as fuel to get stuff done.” At first I laughed, but afterwards, I could totally relate.

The suggestion below is from the book, “A Better Way To Live“, by Og Mandino. This series is entitled, “A Better Life”, because to have ‘a better life’, you need, ‘a better way to live.’ There are 17 suggestions in this book. Hopefully, they will encourage, and cause ponder to the path we’re on. I will be writing about each one, which gives us roughly one a week until the end of the year.

Suggestion #1.

Count your blessings. Once you realize how valuable you are and how much you have going for you, the smiles will return, the sun will break out, the music will play, and you will finally be able to move forward toward the life God intended for you…with grace, strength, courage, and confidence.

Do you know you are valuable?

crown

This is one of my favorite Memes. I love how it has a child displayed, instead of a grown person. We are supposed to have child-like faith, and know that we are valuable. We are the child of the one true King! He already says we are more valuable than the birds, (Matt. 6:26), and they are well taken care of everyday. Have you ever seen a stressed out bird? I haven’t.

My daughter reads my Blog usually before I publish it. She’s my Editor. She read the one I wrote earlier this week about, How to Have a Beautiful Life, and claimed it as one her favorites. When we devalue ourselves it should be disturbing. Otherwise we are settling for less than God’s very best for us. Your spirit should give you some signs to what this feels like.

For me, I feel a sadness in my heart. Like something is taking up space, but not fulfilling me anymore. At one time this was a welcome addition to my beautiful life, but now it adds no beauty or life. I remember what it feels like to get disturbed, and make a decision not to take it anymore. If you feel devalued, I give you permission right now to let it disturb you.

Once you make a decision to let it go, you will feel lighter. Everything that Og says in the suggestion above will occur. Some people are afraid to let go of what they have because it’s better than having nothing. In my experience, God always has better in store. By letting go of what we have that doesn’t bring us joy, we’re trusting God that He has more.

 

 

 

mescarf (135x240)Barbara is a God follower, a Writer, and Mom to her 17-year-old daughter. When she started this Blog in 2014 Letitgocoach was the name that stuck. She enjoys helping people Let Go of what is holding them back from having a beautiful life. Part of her mission is to show people they can start over at 50. Her life is beautiful, and an example of Letting Go and Letting God. You may connect with her via email. Letitgocoach@gmail.com

 

The Potter’s Wheel

I was talking to my daughter yesterday about God, and how He has always taken care of us, and our every need. We don’t have any needs, and I don’t really see Him dropping the ball.

It is Tuesday Beautiful Souls. I woke up counting how much time I have today before I’d be sitting in the Chemo chair. It reminded me of opening a box of assorted chocolates. They are so pretty, and the smell is intoxicating, but you don’t really know which one to choose.

blog

This whole Chemo thing has been a battle between God and me. I would like a softer, easier route, but He sees some things that need to be burned off. Stubbornness being one. I told my daughter yesterday one of the first things I learned through this is, I’m not in control of much. She sees the rough edges I so proudly wore being burned off, and made smooth.

I was also thinking this morning of when I first started Chemo, and was my perky, confident self walking into the room. After the first few sessions, I didn’t feel much difference. It was when I woke up one morning to a pillowcase covered in long brown hair that it knew it was about to get real. When I showered, it fell out and stuck to my body.

I recall trying to get it off my skin, but there was so much I just stood in the shower and cried. It was like the cleansing, Part 1, had begun. What may not have been affecting me much on the inside, was drastically changing what I saw on the outside. Knowing other things in my life I had been though, and won, I remember thinking, “I can handle this.”

clay

That was my first mistake. It’s not about me, and what I can take. It’s about God, and His idea of what I can take. The entire process started off slow, and relatively easy. After my fourth Chemo, I could feel it building up inside of me. One week in between treatment wasn’t enough to flush it all out. It was a gradual build, just like a slow spin on the wheel.

The spin became more intense, so by the time I had my 12th treatment, I didn’t know who I was anymore. I surely didn’t recognize her in the mirror, but God is a good, and loving God.

After my 12th treatment, I had a three week break. The doctors told me I wouldn’t see any hair growth until months after my last treatment. The mirror showed the edges softening. My eyebrows came back dark grey, and fluffy, and I have a thin layer of hair on my head. It feels soft, and fuzzy, like a peach, and it feels new, like I know I’m gonna be in a few weeks.

After the 3 week break, the fire got intense. The Red Devil, (A/C) stepped in for the burn down. My thought has always been, God is going to burn this tumor down, and that will be the end of it. I guess I didn’t think that I would also be in the fire with the tumor. After today, just one more treatment. Can I do this? No way, but God can do it for me, and He will.

 

mescarf (135x240)Barbara is a Jesus Freak, a Writer, and Mom to her 17-year-old daughter. When she started this Blog in 2014 Letitgocoach was the name that stuck. She enjoys helping people Let Go of what is holding them back from having a beautiful life. Part of her mission is to show people they can start over at 50. Her life is beautiful, and an example of Letting Go and Letting God. You may connect with her via email. Letitgocoach@gmail.com