What A Cock!

I am on a mission to uncover a more authentic me. The incomplete lessons I mentioned in Permission to Grow, are on my schedule for the weekend. I don’t think we need to hurry through any lesson because we miss out on the meaning. Is what you read here all of me, or only the parts of me I want you to see?

Maybe you don’t know of my love for chickens. This time of year farm supply stores have an abundance of baby chicks, bunnies, and ducks for Easter. The children love them, and my daughter was no different. The first time we stepped inside a farm supply store, she was 5 years old. Seeing all the babies, there was no way I could deny her a few baby chicks.

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What I thought I was buying for her, turned into a long time passion of mine.

For years I had chickens, and loved having fresh eggs everyday.

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Even eggs were pretty to me. I had chickens that laid a variety of colors. Some of my most healing moments were spent cleaning the chicken coop while listening to music. It was where I would escape to while building up the courage to leave my 25 year marriage. Being there brought me peace in the most difficult time of my life. Chickens got me through it.

They all brought me joy, but there was one that always followed me around. Her name was Reese. She knew my life was in turmoil, and she would show up throughout the day like she was checking on me. She wouldn’t come in the house, but she would get as close as she could. Here she is sitting in a planter by the front door. She laid her daily egg in that pot.

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Isn’t she beautiful? She was a Polish hen. I had to have at least one that wore a crown.

I say was because none of my chickens are with me anymore. I brought them with me to our new life on 40 acres, but we had possums that would come at night, and try to get into the coop.

I tried everything to keep them safe, and moved the coop closer to the house, by the back door, thinking a possum wouldn’t come that close to the house. One night we heard a ruckus outside, and I flung open the back door to see a possum inside the coop with Reese in it’s mouth. Trying to keep what I loved, had put them in danger. Reese died from my choice.

Me being the Redneck that I was, I yelled to my daughter, “Shoot it!!!” She ran and got her rifle and shot that possum right between the eyes. Both of us stood there and sobbed.

I won’t have anymore chickens. I won’t put another life in danger, for my happiness, including my own. I worried over those chickens every night, so the joy was already gone. I was now in ‘protection’ mode to see if I could keep them safe, because they were mine.

What did you think this Blog was going to be about when you saw the title?

I have a ginormous metal cock sitting in my front yard. It has brought joy to many people as they ride by. It reminds me of the joy I had with chickens, but it’s also the basis of many a joke.

Over the weekend, a group of bicyclist were coming up the road. I spotted them right when I stepped out on the front porch. They didn’t see me immediately, but they saw the cock. One of them yelled, “What a cock!”, and they all laughed. I thought it was hilarious, but one of them said, “And the lady heard us too.”

It struck me as odd, out of all the words he could have said, he chose the word, ‘lady.’ I am a lady, and wear it like a well weathered cloak at times. To get to the more authentic me, to discover who I am today, maybe I need to let go of some of that lady. The word that came to my mind when I heard, “What a cock”, was….Aspirations.

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Barbara is a Writer, a Mom to her 17-year-old daughter, a recent Breast Cancer survivor, and she loves God. When she started this Blog in 2014 Letitgocoach was the name that stuck. She enjoys helping people Let Go of what is holding them back from having a beautiful life. Her life is beautiful, and an example of Letting Go and Letting God. You may connect with her via email. Letitgocoach@gmail.com

Let’s Sprawl Out

I looked at my bed, after getting out of it recently. Half of it is smooth, and still made; almost untouched. I lay the covers back to get out, and you can see only one person sleeps there. It made me wonder what other areas of my life, resemble my bed. I’m an overthinker.

It made me think back, when God opened the door, for me to leave my marriage. My daughter was looking for houses available for rent. The house God led us to, on 40 acres, had one ginormous bedroom. I paused and considered if that was a good idea. That house was 795 square feet in size, but was perfect for us. It was exactly what we needed, and when.

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It was close quarters, so we were always near one another. I wouldn’t have had it any other way.

We took what we loved, and what was necessary, to our new home. We took her bed, and I left the other one there. We slept in the same bed, and we learned to stay on our own side. It amazes me what your mind can train your body to do. Even after I bought a new bed, over a year later, my body still chose to sleep on it’s own side, just like she was still there.

Lastnight, I sprawled out.

It also made me think how I had trained my body to sleep before I went to the doctor. The lump in my breast was painful, and I went from lying flat on my back, to one side, to eventually sitting up to sleep. It gradually intensified each day just to see how much pain I could take. Unfortunately for me, I can take quite a bit, but I finally surrendered and went.

I made a point lastnight, to lay on my stomach, with pillows propped under my head, elevating any pressure on my port. Then I sprawled out, and took up all of the bed I could.

It was a very freeing feeling, almost exhilarating actually. My body was extremely pleased with this new found freedom. It also made me think, “What other areas in my life do I need to sprawl out? What have I trained myself to live with? Where do I need to trust God more?”

The most obvious area is going through Chemo, and believing for His perfect healing in all this. I believe there are more areas though, so I get to dig deeper. Cake with icing for the overthinker. Prayer and meditation, and asking God to show me where I need to sprawl out.

Are you feeling this today?

He had me write it for a reason, so maybe it spoke to you. If so, I pray for us to ‘let go’ of who we have trained ourselves to be, and open our hearts to His plan for our lives. Just like Nike says, “Just do it,” we can say, “Let’s sprawl out.”

 

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Barbara is a Writer, Certified Letting Go Coach, and Mom to her 16-year-old daughter. She loves dipping cookies in her coffee in the morning and has a pretty healthy obsession for chocolate. When she started this Blog in 2014 Letitgocoach was what stuck. She enjoys helping people Let Go of what is holding them back from having a beautiful life. Her life today is an example of Letting Go and Letting God. You may connect with her via email. Letitgocoach@gmail.com

I’m Not Simple

This title of this post may be startling, considering what I talk about is simple. You can create space for simplicity in many areas of your life. This doesn’t mean you’re a simple person; it just means you have chosen to live simply. That could also say, “To simply live.”

reese1In 2014, I had a farm where I raised exotic chickens and mini pigs. This one perched on my arm was my favorite. Her name was Reese. I could spam you with pictures right now of the most beautiful chickens you’ve ever seen, but I won’t. That door of my life closed two years ago, but that didn’t stop me from trying to resuscitate it. I’m a pro at getting in God’s way.

I loved this season and raising these beautiful birds! It was a lot of work, but it brought me and many others a lot of joy. When I moved out here, the house has a fenced in side yard, and the owners of the home mentioned it had been used for chickens. A light bulb went off.

Yep! I got chickens again. Did it bring me joy? For about a week. When God closes a door, politely hand him the crowbar please. My daughter found them the perfect home last week.

To have a beautiful life I have to listen to something bigger than me. You can call it what you want; Higher Power, Intuition, Holy Spirit, a voice within, or The Universe to name only a few. I started out with Higher Power in the early days of recovery, but then came to know God, so that is what you’ll see here. I’m not religious, but I do have a relationship with God.

It feels good to fall back on something familiar. I knew what it was like to raise chickens and thought it would be fun again. There was no joy in it and it felt like a daily chore for me.

Can you relate? Is there something in your life that feels like that? Can you pinpoint what it is?

I’m a complex woman that yearned for a simple life. Stay with me and you will find one too!

 

Barbara is a writer, Entrepreneur and Mom to her 16-year-old daughter. She loves dipping cookies in her coffee in the morning and has a pretty healthy obsession for chocolate. When she started this Blog in 2014 Letitgocoach was what stuck. She enjoys helping people Let Go of what is holding them back from having a beautiful life. Her life today is an example of Letting Go and Letting God. You may connect with her via email. Letitgocoach@gmail.com

 

Tea and Me

I opened an Instagram account this year. My daughter has had one for a while, and she posts the most beautiful pictures, especially during her travels. My daughter loves photography and is great at editing for effect. I am not the greatest, and just use my phone as a tool, but it brings me joy. It’s something new to learn and stretch myself this year.

This year is about being the best Barb I can be. If you read yesterday’s Blog, there was a question asked that has become our theme for the year. In a word, it’s about unbecoming.

teanme (524x640)I grew up in North Carolina and on sweet tea. Moving to Texas, I quickly discovered, they have tea, but no sweet tea. Putting sugar in a glass of already made tea is not happiness.

This is where my love of hot tea came in. I have never been a fan of hot tea, but at least it would dissolve sugar! I recalled attending Mother/Daughter teas when my daughter was younger, and how delightful they were. The tea was delicious and it made for a beautiful experience. Somewhere along my path, I discovered Zhi Tea. They bring me happiness.

Hot tea has enhanced my life in beautiful ways. Whenever I need a moment to be good to myself, I fix a cup of tea. I rarely miss a day, and some days require an entire press of tea.

Beauty is all around, but sometimes we have to seek it. If you’re not seeing the beauty in your life, just be still and let it reveal itself to you. It’s there just waiting for your attention.

Barbara is a writer, Entrepreneur and Mom to her 16-year-old daughter. She loves dipping cookies in her coffee in the morning and has a pretty healthy obsession for chocolate. When she started this Blog in 2014 Letitgocoach was what stuck. She enjoys helping people Let Go of what is holding them back from having a beautiful life. Her life today is an example of Letting Go and Letting God. You may connect with her via email. Letitgocoach@gmail.com