Keep Showing Up

The Done List is so much more than getting things done. It’s saying yes to your heart more. It’s when you hear that still small voice give a reminder of what’s good for you.

I have access to a morning meditation via zoom, every morning at 9:00 am. I’ve attended before, and it was nice, but there’s one issue. I’m in the wrong zone in more ways than one.

It’s at 9:00 am to accommodate various time zones. The man I work with lives in CA, so by 9:00 am, I’m already planning what to do for him, before his day begins. (He’s pacific time, and I’m central.)

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Photo by cottonbro on Pexels.com

I’m sitting quietly at the coffee table with coffee.

Looking up at the clock, it’s says 8:50 am, and I sense, “You should really sit in on that meditation.” All life really asks of us is to just show up. Otherwise, I’ll sit here and think of all the excuses not to, or put it off until tomorrow, so I joined in.

My Zen community is so peaceful, and serene, but I only lasted about 10 minutes. It’s just the wrong time of day for me to be fully present, but maybe I’ll get there. Disrupting patterns to make room for what the heart wants.

The heart knows even when we don’t.

I wrote it down on my done list, because I did the immediate thought. I listened to the heart, and followed through with no expected outcome. I was disappointed for a moment for not completing the mediation, but it’s progress, not perfection.

I was happy with myself for just showing up.

It’s uncertain if I’ll begin to thoroughly enjoy this 9:00 am community meditation, but I’m learning to live with the uncertainty. For what the heart wants, just keep showing up.

Pause and Breathe

Chocolate makes everything better.

As I’m standing in line with a bag of chocolate eggs, I saw this magazine. Just seeing it poured a bucket of calm over me, so it was added to my purchase.

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Trusting where you are today matters for who you’ll be tomorrow.

I believe those words. I’ve watched them come to fruition in my life continually and there are people who remind me.

Speaking with a friend yesterday, he reminded me that I’ve been here before, and to look at where I am now. I’m starting a new job. Well, actually it’s an extension of one of my existing jobs, but I’ll be working for one company instead of two.

It’s unsettling with all the technology I’ll be learning, and the added responsibility, but he tells me I say that every time!

As I was eating brunch yesterday, I read this article of things I know, but needed to see.

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I hope this displays large enough to be readable and it covers you in comfort. Our days feel uncertain, but we’ve been here before.

Turning the page, I came upon this.

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The purpose of this page is to give you permission to pause and to breathe and to be.

Hey there Darling…Pause and breathe.

Here and Now

Today is one of those rare days where I feel I’m right where I need to be. I spent the better part of yesterday cleaning my home, and rearranging items to make them more eye pleasing. I bought a lamp.

I’ve always been drawn to light.

I didn’t need a lamp, but this lamp replaced one that wasn’t giving off the right light for the space it was in. I had gone to this store to find a storage container when I saw the lamp. I walked out of the store carrying the lamp and no storage container. 🙂

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Shout our to Little Fears for Lucy hanging in the background.

I love the streams of light.

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When my daughter and I moved out of the country and into this sleepy little lake town, I wasn’t sure it was the right move. It took time for it to feel right.

One year later, I’m working part time at the local pizza place. A young couple sitting at a table asked, “Why are you here?”, like I looked out of place.

My response was, “To bless others.”

He quoted a scripture and we began talking about God and what He is doing in our lives. I mentioned this Blog and my hope to bless others through writing. He told me this town I live in is for writers.

He began telling me some of the history of the town and it used to be considered a haven for writers. His neighbor rents his house to writers throughout the year when they need a quiet space for inspiration.

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When I first began at the pizza place, I asked God, “Why?” Three months later I’m able to relax and have meaningful conversations with patrons. They bless me just as much as I bless them.

God puts us in places that makes us wonder ‘why’, but we need to trust it’s part of a greater plan.

It may not make sense, and it will be uncomfortable at first, but today I know we’re right where we need to be.

Trust the Wait

I didn’t do my Morning Pages this morning. I spent time with my daughter before she left for her college classes. Wednesday’s are like that.

I’m still haunted by yesterday’s Morning Pages.

It was basically three pages of questions. Then later in the day I saw these words, “Choose uncertainty over unhappiness.” That is what I chose to do. 

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Every thought turned into a question mark.

I envisioned scooping the question marks off the page and into my hand. Then I threw them up in the air as if saying, “Let it all go and see what stays.”

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This morning I came across a Blog I posted four years ago, and re-posted two years later. What’s funny is I cannot recall what was happening in my life at the time of the post. Reading it gave me the feeling of staring up at a giant while holding a slingshot. Whatever it was is no longer here, and wasn’t memorable. You can read the post here.

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It’s a change of season and with that uncertainty can visit. That doesn’t mean it has permission to drag us over into unhappiness.

Today my lovely, just trust the wait.

To Be True

Life is beautiful, and we are taking time to cultivate it.

I saw the gradual movement of change.

My daughter painted her room, and I fell in love with the feel. Walking into my own room, it didn’t give me that feel. Looking at paint colors, then testing samples, and voila! My room has that feel with completely different colors. We know what feels good, and both rooms do, but on different levels.

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I chose the true red over faded red, to remind myself to be true. The happiness sign hung over my bed, but I moved it to the opposite wall. When I wake up, I lay there for a moment, and ponder it’s meaning for the day. Each day holds different levels of happiness.

I don’t have to jump out of bed anymore, and embrace the day. It’s best for me to travel through the day, and acknowledge uncertainty. People are walking in and out of my life, and I am letting them. Melody Beattie was referring to being in the middle of God’s will. We love God’s will, “but not usually while it’s working itself out.” This is true.

The place we pray to be in, is uncomfortable to sit in.

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My daughter sent me that Meme. My feelings change from day to day, but God doesn’t change, and I know that to be true.

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I’m Ready Now

Driving down the road this afternoon, to pick up my daughter, this song came on the radio. It’s by Plumb, and she always pierces my soul. I listened intently to the words, and discovered they describe this path I’m on.

I just wanted to share this with you here.

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Being a Letitgocoach, the first few words caught my attention quick. I’ve heard this song before, but today it was like she was singing it for me. Do you have days like that?

The next verse that spoke to me was, “I ran away from you, and I did what I wanted to, but I don’t want to let you down. Lord, I’m ready now.”

I don’t believe I run away from God anymore. Oh yes…I used to quite often. He always positioned me just so, and what was in front of me seemed insurmountable. What I didn’t realize then was, everything we go through prepares us for what’s ahead. I was ready for what He gave me, but I allowed fear to set in.

So, there I would go down a bunny trail, and do what I wanted to do. There were missed opportunities I’m sure, but I have no regrets. God is patient, and kind. He would wait for me to get done doing my thing, and give me another chance. No more letting Him down.

He has given me a beautiful life.

Even though the path I’m on has a good deal of uncertainty, I trust Him. Looking over the past year alone, I can see where everything up to this point, has prepared me for where I am. I have moments of fear of what lies ahead, but I’m not alone.

I can finally say, ‘Lord, I’m ready now.’