Here and Now

Today is one of those rare days where I feel I’m right where I need to be. I spent the better part of yesterday cleaning my home, and rearranging items to make them more eye pleasing. I bought a lamp.

I’ve always been drawn to light.

I didn’t need a lamp, but this lamp replaced one that wasn’t giving off the right light for the space it was in. I had gone to this store to find a storage container when I saw the lamp. I walked out of the store carrying the lamp and no storage container. 🙂

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Shout our to Little Fears for Lucy hanging in the background.

I love the streams of light.

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When my daughter and I moved out of the country and into this sleepy little lake town, I wasn’t sure it was the right move. It took time for it to feel right.

One year later, I’m working part time at the local pizza place. A young couple sitting at a table asked, “Why are you here?”, like I looked out of place.

My response was, “To bless others.”

He quoted a scripture and we began talking about God and what He is doing in our lives. I mentioned this Blog and my hope to bless others through writing. He told me this town I live in is for writers.

He began telling me some of the history of the town and it used to be considered a haven for writers. His neighbor rents his house to writers throughout the year when they need a quiet space for inspiration.

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When I first began at the pizza place, I asked God, “Why?” Three months later I’m able to relax and have meaningful conversations with patrons. They bless me just as much as I bless them.

God puts us in places that makes us wonder ‘why’, but we need to trust it’s part of a greater plan.

It may not make sense, and it will be uncomfortable at first, but today I know we’re right where we need to be.

Trust the Wait

I didn’t do my Morning Pages this morning. I spent time with my daughter before she left for her college classes. Wednesday’s are like that.

I’m still haunted by yesterday’s Morning Pages.

It was basically three pages of questions. Then later in the day I saw these words, “Choose uncertainty over unhappiness.” That is what I chose to do. 

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Every thought turned into a question mark.

I envisioned scooping the question marks off the page and into my hand. Then I threw them up in the air as if saying, “Let it all go and see what stays.”

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This morning I came across a Blog I posted four years ago, and re-posted two years later. What’s funny is I cannot recall what was happening in my life at the time of the post. Reading it gave me the feeling of staring up at a giant while holding a slingshot. Whatever it was is no longer here, and wasn’t memorable. You can read the post here.

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It’s a change of season and with that uncertainty can visit. That doesn’t mean it has permission to drag us over into unhappiness.

Today my lovely, just trust the wait.

To Be True

Life is beautiful, and we are taking time to cultivate it.

I saw the gradual movement of change. My daughter painted her room, and I fell in love with the feel. Walking into my own room, it didn’t give me that feel. Looking at paint colors, then testing samples, and voila! My room has that feel with completely different colors. How is that possible? We know what feels good, and both rooms do, but on different levels.

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I chose the true red over faded red, to remind myself to be true. The happiness sign hung over my bed, but I moved it to the opposite wall. When I wake up, I lay there for a moment, and ponder it’s meaning for the day. Each day holds different levels of happiness. To get good with that and just be.

I don’t have to jump out of bed anymore, and embrace the day. It’s best for me to travel through the day, and acknowledge uncertainty. People are walking in and out of my life, and I am letting them. Melody Beattie was referring to being in the middle of God’s will. We love God’s will, “but not usually while it’s working itself out.” This is true.

The place we pray to be in is uncomfortable to sit in.

Shades of PINK commented on one of my Facebook posts today with, “Perfect place to ‘BE.'” It was picture perfect. To just ‘be’ is not always how we picture it, or perfect.

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My daughter sent me that Meme. My feelings change from day to day, but God doesn’t change, and I know that to be true.

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