Tag: #unhealthyrelationships

Breaking Heart Strings

July has taught me what makes the heart happy, and sad.

Making up my bed this morning, and catching a glimpse of the Happiness sign, I stopped making it up, and changed the sheets. That made my heart happy. They will feel good tonight.

Detachment is a word commonly used in Letting Go. Today, I saw the word, ‘Unattached’, and that felt softer. Detachment always left me feeling cold, and that’s not me.

I imagined strings attached to my heart, and they would attach to another heart, or my circumstance. Anything that made the heart happy. When something occurs that made the heart sad, a string would break, and fall away. Over time with repetition, the heart becomes detached. What the heart once loved doesn’t phase it now.

The strings are unattached and waiting for new.

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Someone You Love

I have people in my life who don’t like people. God wants us to love one another, so there’s a challenge here. My mission is to help the hurt. How do I listen to all the pain? I listen, but don’t take it with me. It’s not personal.

When it’s personal, I have the choice of allowing myself to be hurt, or letting it go. When people are hurt, they tend to hurt whoever is nearby. Past experiences have taught them a reliable outcome. Show them different.

When I allow someone to hurt me, my first response is to back away from them. Doing that would ensure I have a safe and calm life. To take the pain as a lesson learned, and move forward, even if it’s alone.

There is going to be pain and misunderstanding in any relationship. That is part of caring. The pain puts us at a crossroad, and I choose which way to go. Moving backwards has never served me well, so forward it is.

The good of the relationship needs to outweigh the bad. I have expectations for myself and those flow onto my relationships. I treat people the way I want to be treated. I’m not willing to lower my expectations to stay.

Let go of the pain in your life, even if it’s disguised as someone you love.

Closing the Door

The comment said, “Thts a LIE.” The first thing I noticed was the woman must have been so distraught, she didn’t go back to fix the typo. This drew my attention to the comment, as it made me wonder why she wouldn’t go back to correct once posted. This meme prompted the comment.

lie

We all have a past.

I have not yet met a person that said, “I love my past!”

Each day is a new day and we can choose a new path. If we are enjoying the right path we’re on, it will need to be cleared of debris. If you are living your life, it can get messy! The storms will pass or blow over. It’s up to you to watch and wait or, break out the leaf blower to help it move along a bit.

There are symptoms for me when someone is not having a healthy effect. I am normally a happily, fulfilled person, so the red flag is sadness and discontent. If I’m feeling sad, then I am allowing someone or something to steal my joy. You will see the signs. Pay attention to your body language.

If you don’t pay attention, someone else will.

My daughter used to watch as I spoke on the phone. After I hung up with this one person in particular, she would point out that I always looked sad while talking with them. Feeling the sadness in my heart reflected in my expression, and she saw it clearly by watching.

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Shut the door.

The only way it reopens is if we react to someone knocking from the other side. Any response prolongs the inevitable. When you have an unhealthy relationship, feel free to tell the person why they are no longer invited to be a part of your life. You are responsible for your life, not theirs.

Walk away and don’t look back.

There is a reason it’s called the past and a reason it falls behind us. My experience has been, when one doors closes, another door opens. We have to close some doors to allow room for others to open. When we see what’s behind the door, we decide whether it’s good for us or not.

Some doors close quickly and some close slowly. The effectiveness and speed are up to us.