Used by God

I logged back onto my Facebook account.

I’ve been away for 6 months, and didn’t miss it.

When I joined SC Lourie on the November Soul Reset, she sent out an email with an invitation to join a FB group. Being a part of a group allows you to be supportive of others. I’ve been able to do that, but social media doesn’t fulfill me like real life.

This weekend, I saw my first commercial where this guy mows his lawn, and it turns out perfectly. He posts a picture on social media, and receives over 100 likes. He is standing there on his lawn, phone in hand, beaming! Is that what life has come to?

hand thumbs up thumb black and white
Photo by Tookapic on Pexels.com

Yesterday, I made a conscious effort to help others. While running some errands, I asked God to use me. Walking into the grocery store, I smiled at people, and a few smiled back, while others looked away.

Once in the checkout line, a lady pulled up behind me in a motorized shopping cart. The front basket was filled to the brim, and I asked if she wanted help unloading it. She hesitated before saying ‘yes’.

As we were unloading her items onto the conveyor belt, I noticed she was moving very quickly, like she couldn’t get it done fast enough. I touched her arm, and said, “Slow down lovely. I’m in no hurry at all.” She smiled in relief and thanked me for my help.

After the grocery store, I went to buy firewood.

pile of wood logs
Photo by Luka Siemionov on Pexels.com

This girl in her 20’s came out to meet me, and we talked about multiple options of how much wood. She ‘liked’ my jacket, and I ‘liked’ hers, so while loading the wood we talked about jackets. I followed her inside the store, and paid for the wood.

Before leaving, I reached over and gave her a hug.

She hugged me back tightly. I don’t recall ever being hugged that enthusiastically by a stranger. She needed that hug. Thank you God for using me.

The First Sentence

I opened a letter from the imaging center where I had my most recent mammogram. The words filled the entire page, but after that first sentence, I didn’t need to read anymore.

“We are pleased to inform you that the results of your recent breast imaging exam(s) show no signs of Breast Cancer.”

This last letter was the opposite of the first one I received exactly one year ago. The first letter told me the exam saw Cancer, and the last one said, “End of story.” There was a beginning, and an end, but my story is far from over.

Some of the journey is documented here, but who you see today is the woman on the other side. How did I survive? Through love, and God. That is also what you read about here.

demons

In the same way the first sentence of that letter caught my attention, so will the first sentence of a Blog. I’ve been reading a lot of Blogs recently, and they show me who I used to be. I’ve had the privilege of being a lot of what I read. The Entrepreneur, Motivational Speaker, Stepford Wife, Preacher/Teacher, and those roles helped create who I am today.

Even though I may not fully see her yet, I know where she’s been. I don’t write long Blogs, because after about 500 words, I lose interest, and imagine you would too.

Do you ever wonder why you’re here? I have been thinking about that a lot, and I don’t really know why. All I know is, God opened this door three years ago, and here I stand.

Seeing who you’re not anymore, helps you along the path of who you want to be.

Every circumstance has strengthened my character, and my relationship with God. Sitting here I am reminded of the first sentence of an Ed Sheeran song. “I gave all my oxygen to people that could breathe.” Been there, done that. Today, I can tell you how good it feels for my body to breathe.

 

Stay the Path

I slept through the night. That in itself is a miracle.

I woke up thinking about a Blog I wrote lastnight before bed entitled, How to Fly. I wanted to pull it up, and delete it because I wasn’t happy with it. Since when is this Blog about me? I just write what’s on my heart.

It’s Tuesday, but I don’t have Chemo. Week two begins of the three week break. There is no feeling of dread this morning. No dark cloud following me around. It’s a new day full of possibilities, and more healing.

If there’s one thing I’ve learned about life it’s this. There is a reason, and a season for everything. God doesn’t reveal the reason for the season while you’re in it, but as you stay the path, it becomes more clear.

A season can last a long time.

I have a friend that has been battling Breast Cancer a lot longer than me. To look at her circumstances, it seems to be getting worse, and not better. Let me tell you that God gives His biggest battles, to His toughest soldiers.

When her battle is over, it’s going to be obvious that God did for her what she couldn’t do for herself.

I have another friend that is in a season of quiet. She doesn’t feel she is being used by God.

This woman has been used by God her entire life. She introduced me to a church that reconnected me to God, and she was my daughter’s Nanny for a short time. She brought joy and laughter to our lives, and years later, she still does.

When you are in a season of quiet, that stinkin Devil will walk in and make you doubt every aspect of your life.

blog1

I have been in a season of quiet for a long time. Going through Chemo has made it challenging to write. The toxins alone mess with your mind and body, and give ample opportunity for the devil to kick you while you’re down.

I started questioning my mission, and pondered maybe I should stop writing. Am I reaching people, or helping them in any way? I have to believe that God will use this Blog to encourage others. Even if I just reach one.

That same friend that isn’t feeling used by God, took time to encourage me yesterday.

She said she’s encouraged by my Blog.

She has said in the past that she always gets something out of it, and sometimes it feels like it’s written specifically for her. Well my friend if your are reading this, let me assure you that God is still using you. This writer that was doubting her ability to keep writing, has just written another Blog.