You’re Not Alone

I published a Blog yesterday, and went back into my Blogsite and deleted it. The same thing happened today. Write, edit, publish, and an hour later, delete. To the 5 people who read them both, “I apologize if I scarred you for life.”

My email followers received notifications of the posts. Clicked on the link, and stared at air. I apologize to you too. I have discovered that waiting on this appointment next week causes me to feel vulnerable. I don’t mind being vulnerable, but to let someone read about it, amplifies the feeling.

If you’re a writer, maybe you do the same thing.

Publish a Blog, and then delete it, or maybe you have some in drafts that you can’t bring yourself to finish, and publish. I have some of those too, but there is something I’ve learned.

No matter how sucky I think that published Blog may be…it’s going to help someone. It’s going to have something in there that someone needs to see. So, maybe if I write this at night, hit publish, and go to bed, you can read it while I sleep. Because waiting on Tuesday to arrive is not working.

My instinct is to disappear for a few days, and become quiet.

To remove myself from the lives of the people I love, so they don’t have to be a part of what I’m going through. That is my way of protecting them. Well, the last time I checked, my circle of people are some brilliant, grounded adults who can decide whether they need protection or not.

I believe you are only as alone as you allow yourself to be.

I don’t feel alone, so thank you, for not leaving me alone.


Be Engaged

I took a week off from Blogging. I’ve been writing. You just haven’t seen it yet.

When you don’t see me here, I am reading books, other people’s Blogs, and writing my thoughts in a journal. Writing makes me feel more alive. Looking at January, when I challenged myself to write for 30 consecutive days, I felt exhilarated just by writing everyday. I see other Bloggers writing everyday this month, and they are starting to feel the same way.

It hits you about halfway through. This is what brings me joy! So does coffee.


As you know, my coffee taste has changed this year. The Keurig is in a cabinet, and the coffee pot will be soon. My daughter has me hooked on the beauty of a pour over. So yes, life is too short for bad coffee. If I’m gonna drink it, I am going to savor every single moment of it.

To be engaged in the process, and the drinking of it. We can also look at relationships in much the same way. Are you engaged? Not the marrying kind, but to be ‘greatly interested.’

I am reading a book by Brene` Brown entitled, ‘Daring Greatly.’ It’s about the courage to be vulnerable, and allowing that to transform you and other areas of your life. Vulnerability starts with trust, and we can always hope when we step out with our vulnerable thoughts, or deeds that they will be embraced, and reciprocated. It’s the good stuff of the relationship.

I find it interesting that Brene` sees disengagement as ‘betrayal’. Long before the more obvious betrayal of cheating, or lying, disengagement occurs first. She defines disengagement as, “Not caring, of letting the connection go, of not being willing to devote time and effort to the relationship.” When that happens the more obvious reasons slip in.


I know you are loving my coffee Memes. Seymour sent me a post yesterday saying the coffee bean should be my birthstone. I couldn’t agree with her more. She constantly makes an effort to be engaged. I have several people in my life that do this, and some have stopped.

The great mystery of disengagement is there is no valid reason for it. We look for reasons, and can convince ourselves of various ones, but disengagement doesn’t always have one. Brene` describes it as being the, ‘Most dangerous form of betrayal in terms of corroding the trust connection.’ So, we don’t lose trust and step away. We step away and then lose trust.

This is one of a few things I have been pondering during my week off from Blogging. I hope this encourages you to be engaged. Be fully interested in what goes in your cup.



Barbara is a Writer, a Mom to her 17-year-old daughter, a recent Breast Cancer survivor, and she loves God. When she started this Blog in 2014 Letitgocoach was the name that stuck. She enjoys helping people Let Go of what is holding them back from having a beautiful life. Her life is beautiful, and an example of Letting Go and Letting God. You may connect with her via email.