Wait For It

I forced myself to stop Blogging.

When I challenged myself to post a Blog a day in December, over time I hit a stride. That groove of posting everyday became a daily ritual, but was it fulfilling?

On into January, I was still posting everyday, but began to slow the pace. After posting The Mindless Activity I made the decision to stop for one week. That’s not easy once an action becomes ingrained.

It was as if I had created a new daily habit, but I don’t wish to become a daily Blogger.

I thought about it everyday, but told myself to wait. I’d hit the pause button and let the Blog ideas go. I knew from past experience not to pause too long. It’s very difficult to come back to it, with that struggle of paused to restart.

Some wait too long and don’t come back. That’s not for me, but I do want to hit a stride that works. Timing means a great deal while writing. To wait for that stillness, that deafening silence once the dust settles from the day or the week. Even if it drops to once a week, I’m going to wait for it.

Look For Signs

When I first moved to this little farm house on 40 acres, I had no clue what God had in store. I was hoping this was His will, but concerned that maybe this was my move and not His. There was nothing out here but grass, trees and a pond with a pier beside the house. This is what nothingness looked like, as I slowly recalled mentioning to God, “Give me nothingness.”

blueheron

The entire story of the Blue Heron, or the Stork we named Elvis, is written in my Blog, Just Breathe. He was my sign that I was at the right house, and exactly where I needed to be. There are actually two storks. The Blue Heron was the first one to show up and then a white Egret came to visit.

The white one, named Marilyn shows up often. She is here almost everyday, stays for a bit and leaves. Elvis is very majestic and carries himself with intention. Sometimes he makes himself known, like this morning, as I was gazing out the window. He purposefully strolled right into sight as if to say, “Good Morning Barbara. I’m here.”

At other times, I have to search for him. His coloring blends in with the brush and trees around the pond, so I have to look for movement before he steps into view. Sometimes, I just know he’s there without even looking. His presence fills me with peace and promise of good things to come.

When he shows up, I can feel, a change is coming in my life.

Stork is fearless. I’m looking out the window now and it’s pouring down rain. He’s just standing there, watching for his morning catch of fish.

The rain is not going to deter him from his mission.

He is focused and is not bothered by his environment. Now, if I go outside with gusto, and the screen door slams, it will disturb his focus and he will fly away. They are instinctual animals, so a loud noise resembling a gunshot will prompt him to flee to safety.

Look for signs. They are there because God always gives a heads up before He swoops in and moves. Just like The Great Blue Heron, God moves swiftly in my life, but he shows me little things leading up to the event.

I may see nothing at first, and that within itself is a sign that something has changed. Watch for the slightest movement. It will step into view when I’m willing and God’s ready.

Find Your Voice

I’m sitting here before I retire for the evening and just wanted to write. People ask me what I do and I tell them about my jobs and then add, “I’m a writer.” They find my job status interesting enough, but they always look up at me with a smile when I add the ‘writer’ part.

trust

I found myself coming full circle today on trusting God. There was a season in my life, not that long ago, that I trusted Him just to wake me up the next day. He always did. Not knowing what direction my new life should go, I trusted Him for every step and sometimes every breath.

Making decisions with business throughout the day, it’s easy to play decision maker in my life too frequently. I trust my choices. My life has been calm and peaceful for almost 2 years now, however, a part of my long ago past that I didn’t use my voice on is coming back to haunt me. I didn’t have a voice back then and wasn’t given many options, but today I have a voice, and my God is BIG.

When I first moved here God told me, “Just trust me.” That is all I heard and all I knew to do. He has blessed me beyond belief just for trusting Him and being the best I can be. So, with this too I will trust Him. I can trust Him with the big things when they roar up like a giant sea serpent, all the way to the things I take for granted like waking up tomorrow.

The hardest thing I had to learn was to wait, but don’t get too good at waiting because He wants quick obedience. I’m still not as good as I should be waiting on people, but I will wait on God. My morning meditation said, “I am with you and for you. You face nothing alone~nothing!” Little did I know this morning that I would need to be pouring this on me tonight. Thank you God. I’ll just trust You.