A Thrilling Place To Be

A friend found out today that he didn’t get the house he had placed an offer on. He found this house last year, and fell in love with the property. It would be a perfect place to live, and house his business, but God has other plans.

A lot of us prayed fervently about this house.

But, we all prayed in accordance to God’s will.

Sometimes God’s ‘no’, should be our ‘thank you.’

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I told my friend, ‘Answered prayer.’ It may not seem like an answered prayer, but it is. The house was perfect, and maybe it all looked that way to us, but something wasn’t right.

We couldn’t see it, but God could.

What my friend did right was clinging to his faith. He was patient with the back and forth about the house, for months. I’m sure he became frustrated with waiting, but God was watching, and I believe my friend won today.

He didn’t get this house, but he’s better equipped for the next one that comes along. I encouraged him to keep looking, and to follow his heart to what he really wants.

I think that seems too big to us.

But, it’s not too big for God. What He has planned for us is more than we can ever imagine, and that’s a thrilling place to be.

Listening for quiet

Making a coffee pour over has a calming effect over me.

Once I go through all the steps of setting it up, I’m forced to slow down, and enjoy the process. Watching as the boiling hot water, slowly escapes from the spout of the pour over kettle. It hits the coarse grounds, and they begin to bloom. (My fave) Today, I poured the water very slowly, in attempt to keep the bloom alive for as long as possible.

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That magnificent bloom.

I listened intently during the process. When the water first hit the grounds, and the liquid drained into the empty cup, it was noisy. I could hear it trickling. As the cup filled with the hot liquid, the trickling became quieter, and quieter.

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I knew the cup was full when it was completely quiet.

You’re Not Alone

I published a Blog yesterday, and went back into my Blogsite and deleted it. The same thing happened today. Write, edit, publish, and an hour later, delete. To the 5 people who read them both, “I apologize if I scarred you for life.”

My email followers received notifications of the posts. Clicked on the link, and stared at air. I apologize to you too. I have discovered that waiting on this appointment next week causes me to feel vulnerable. I don’t mind being vulnerable, but to let someone read about it, amplifies the feeling.

If you’re a writer, maybe you do the same thing.

Publish a Blog, and then delete it, or maybe you have some in drafts that you can’t bring yourself to finish, and publish. I have some of those too, but there is something I’ve learned.

No matter how sucky I think that published Blog may be…it’s going to help someone. It’s going to have something in there that someone needs to see. So, maybe if I write this at night, hit publish, and go to bed, you can read it while I sleep. Because waiting on Tuesday to arrive is not working.

My instinct is to disappear for a few days, and become quiet.

To remove myself from the lives of the people I love, so they don’t have to be a part of what I’m going through. That is my way of protecting them. Well, the last time I checked, my circle of people are some brilliant, grounded adults who can decide whether they need protection or not.

I believe you are only as alone as you allow yourself to be.

I don’t feel alone, so thank you, for not leaving me alone.

Wait With Me

I write about a beautiful life, and that is my hearts desire to share with you. Right now, I feel the need to get this out, and writing always helps soothe the soul.

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Once again, I am waiting.

Last Friday, I went in for my 6 month checkup, and had a mammogram.

It began as routine, and then the technician came in for more scans. This is the left breast that held Cancer last year. After having 6 scans, I was escorted into the sonogram room. The technician rolled the handheld device over my breast for what seemed like a very long time. She sent the scans to be reviewed by the doctor, and in came the doctor.

The doctor tried to sound casual as she spoke. “You have a couple of areas I’m not sure about, but they are not screaming Cancer to me. I’d like to see you again in six months.”

Does Cancer scream?

I left there concerned, but not worried. Wasn’t going to jump to any conclusions until my Oncologist saw the film. I knew she would know if there was any cause for concern.

She called today and wants to see me. “There are areas of concern…” Her first available appointment is 10/24, which is almost two weeks away. I ask that you wait with me.

Simply The best

Walking into a shop, I could just barely hear this song coming out of the sound system. Simply the Best, by Tina Turner was playing and those three words were the loudest part of the song. I admire Tina for everything she went through. Such a beautiful and talented lady that knew her worth, even though the tabloids revealed her man did not.

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Your self worth is invaluable. You need to know it and own it. Don’t allow anyone to tarnish what you believe about yourself.

We should have standards. Good morals. People will try and get you to meet theirs which sometime means lowering yours. I have found if those people are going to be in my life, they need to come up and meet mine.

That may seem harsh, but it’s self care and preservation. Past relationships have beat me up and down to where I had to search diligently to find myself again. God has always brought me through to the other side stronger than before.

I am a better woman today because of what I’ve been through, but I’m slowing down on the lessons learned.

Knowing I am worthy of every good thing God has in store is enough. The people He places in my life today may not be the easiest people in the world, but they are worth it. God will use people to challenge you for what He wants changed. Need more patience? He will send someone that requires patience. Need to learn how to wait? Welcome to waiting. Put those two together and you have a new skill called patiently waiting.

The right want the same thing for you that God does. Simply the best.

Ya Gotsta Move It Move It

This little farm house has been our ‘Safe Haven’ for almost two years. Last December, I wrote out my goals for 2015. A new house was not on the page, but everything I listed was going to lead us to more. God knows your heart, and He knows when it’s time to move.

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We have to let go of where we are, so God can move us to where He wants us to be. Bailey and I started talking about what our next house would look like. It would be a little bit larger, have a washer and dryer, a bathtub (we have a shower), and a fenced yard for Augustus, Bailey’s Blue Heeler pup. We would still be on acreage, because we love having land. Long gone are the days I look out my window and see another house.

Bailey found an ad for a little house on 5 acres about an hour away. Most every ad we had seen was out of our budget, but this one met our criteria. We drove out to meet the couple who owned it, and take a look. It was a beautiful, old farm house that had been restored to like new condition. The owner had put a lot of himself in that house to bring it up to what it is today.

We stepped through the little wood gate onto the lush, green lawn, and almost bumped our heads on the branch of a giant Oak Tree. (Disco Ball) The next thing I saw was a clothesline. I love hanging sheets outside! That wasn’t on my list, but it must have been on my heart.

We walked in the back door and entered a large mud room. The man who rebuilt this house is a carpenter by trade, so he had filled this room with custom cabinetry! Underneath the cabinets stood, a washer and dryer. On into the kitchen were more custom cabinets and a sweet pantry. Looking into the main living area was a mass of hand rubbed, hardwood flooring. It didn’t surprise me much when we got to the bathroom and there sat a large tub. I was so overwhelmed with God’s goodness by then, it was like walking through a dream.

God had this ready and waiting for us. Once we started talking about it and became willing to move, everything fell into place seamlessly. The glory goes to God! We asked, but it was already there waiting.