It is cold here in Texas, which is okay because it doesn’t last long.
I believe the main thing I learned from challenging myself to write for 30 straight days is this. I am not in control. It’s not about me, and what I want to write. It’s about God, and Him placing something on my heart to share with you.
I have plenty of topics to pull from, and can make myself write something. That is not what brings me joy. For me, the joy of writing is to be inspired, and the words just flow through the fingers, to the keyboard, and appear on the screen to share.
God didn’t prompt me to challenge myself. This is something I chose to do.
I can see God still blessed it. He is good like that. Some of the Blogs were inspired by Him, and some of them I just wrote. I don’t know if you can tell the difference, but I can. Maybe it’s not so much the finished product, but the feeling I had while typing.
We will see what happens in the next two days. I have learned a lot this month from the challenge, but I’m thinking I would rather wait, and be inspired.
Barbara is a Writer, a Mom to her 17-year-old daughter, and she loves God. When she started this Blog in 2014 Letitgocoach was the name that stuck. She enjoys helping people Let Go of what is holding them back from having a beautiful life. She found out in March of 2016 that she had Breast Cancer. Her life is an example of Letting Go and Letting God. You may connect with her via email. Letitgocoach@gmail.com
I just needed to write. There is something about it that pulls all the frazzled ends back into my tapestry of life. I should probably stop thinking, and just write.
This is one of my favorite pictures, and I used it in a Blog written one year ago. To think of it today reminds me, this has been my year of waiting. I don’t mind waiting. God has given me plenty of practice, so I’ve become relatively good at it. It helps when you know what you’re waiting for. This week it was a call.
A week ago Monday, I had a call from my breast surgeon to see when I wanted to schedule the lumpectomy. We talked about Chemo, how I was doing, and when was my last treatment scheduled.
It felt like two doses of The Red Devil had been harder on me than the first 12 weeks combined. I still had two more doses to go, and in all honesty I wasn’t sure my body could take it. She said, “Maybe we can go ahead and do surgery then.” A light came on at the end of the tunnel.
She had to talk with my doctor, but she felt confident the lump was plenty small enough by now to be removed. So, the waiting began. I didn’t expect it to take this long, but 10 days later I received the verdict from my doctor. He said, “No.” That was when I had to cry it out.
I don’t know what God’s plan is, but it broke my heart when He said, “No”, to that plan.
Did I mention the part where I got so pissed off, I called and left a message with my nurse that I wasn’t coming to Chemo next week? I was nice, but it happened, and it got her attention! She called me right back, so I didn’t have to wait long at all on that call.
So, I’ve gotten disappointed, angry, and cried, all within two hours time. I’m over it.
I try not to let my emotions get the best of me. I have always tried to keep it all under control, and let things like this just roll down my back. It normally works because I know a large part of life is a test. If I can look at it as a test, and God as my teacher, it really inspires me to pass that test. I felt like I was failing the test, but then I realized, this test isn’t over.
I will know it’s over when God gets the glory from this journey. He gets the glory every morning when I wake up, but He is a Master at showing off in my life. He knows I love spectacular endings, so that is what I’m waiting for. I don’t see it yet, but I know its there.
I write to understand my life, is a quote I saw this week. That is what you will find here. Stories of my life and the people in it. Some are here and some have passed through. If you’re reading one of these and can relate, you’re either going through something similar, or you were there. I rarely mention a name but if you were there, I thank you now.
I was once leery of writing about the men in my life. There hasn’t been many, but I am thankful today for each one. You already know I was married half my life, but did you know I was in a relationship for a year and a half after the divorce? He follows my Blog, or used to. I think it was too much for him to read. His name was not there but he was.
He used to always tells me, “There needs to be a Plan B.” If we are following God, does there need to be a Plan B? I don’t think so. That would be making a plan in case God failed. God never fails. We fail God.
I learned so much in that relationship. You have seen snippets of it here without even realizing it and you will see more. It doesn’t take a lot of people to write your life story. It takes a lot of lessons learned over time.
I don’t say that to be harsh. I have learned from every person in my life. God works through people. They come into our lives to teach us and that makes us the person we are meant to be. You need more patience? Oh my.
God will use people and situations to help! There is a saying, “Don’t pray for patience or you’ll get it.” It’s a painful practice for me but necessary. Waiting on God takes a huge amount of patience. Otherwise, I would do it myself and that’s even more painful.
When your time is up with that person it shouldn’t be painful. So many people are mourning broken hearts and that is the main reason I am a Coach. To help people get past the pain and learn to live. You had a life before them and it should be better because of them. It may hurt because they are gone but if they were meant to stay they would still be there. ‘God’s got a plan.’ My daughter at 15, reminded me of that today. She has learned what she has been taught.
Barbara is a writer and loves being a Mom to her 15 year old daughter. It’s a dream come true for her to be a Let It Go Coach and helping others enjoy their lives. She hosts Workshops, does one on one Coaching and is working on her first book. You may connect with her via email. Letitgocoach@gmail.com