What A Cock!

I am on a mission to uncover a more authentic me. The incomplete lessons I mentioned in Permission to Grow, are on my schedule for the weekend. I don’t think we need to hurry through any lesson because we miss out on the meaning. Is what you read here all of me, or only the parts of me I want you to see?

Maybe you don’t know of my love for chickens. This time of year farm supply stores have an abundance of baby chicks, bunnies, and ducks for Easter. The children love them, and my daughter was no different. The first time we stepped inside a farm supply store, she was 5 years old. Seeing all the babies, there was no way I could deny her a few baby chicks.

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What I thought I was buying for her, turned into a long time passion of mine.

For years I had chickens, and loved having fresh eggs everyday.

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Even eggs were pretty to me. I had chickens that laid a variety of colors. Some of my most healing moments were spent cleaning the chicken coop while listening to music. It was where I would escape to while building up the courage to leave my 25 year marriage. Being there brought me peace in the most difficult time of my life. Chickens got me through it.

They all brought me joy, but there was one that always followed me around. Her name was Reese. She knew my life was in turmoil, and she would show up throughout the day like she was checking on me. She wouldn’t come in the house, but she would get as close as she could. Here she is sitting in a planter by the front door. She laid her daily egg in that pot.

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Isn’t she beautiful? She was a Polish hen. I had to have at least one that wore a crown.

I say was because none of my chickens are with me anymore. I brought them with me to our new life on 40 acres, but we had possums that would come at night, and try to get into the coop.

I tried everything to keep them safe, and moved the coop closer to the house, by the back door, thinking a possum wouldn’t come that close to the house. One night we heard a ruckus outside, and I flung open the back door to see a possum inside the coop with Reese in it’s mouth. Trying to keep what I loved, had put them in danger. Reese died from my choice.

Me being the Redneck that I was, I yelled to my daughter, “Shoot it!!!” She ran and got her rifle and shot that possum right between the eyes. Both of us stood there and sobbed.

I won’t have anymore chickens. I won’t put another life in danger, for my happiness, including my own. I worried over those chickens every night, so the joy was already gone. I was now in ‘protection’ mode to see if I could keep them safe, because they were mine.

What did you think this Blog was going to be about when you saw the title?

I have a ginormous metal cock sitting in my front yard. It has brought joy to many people as they ride by. It reminds me of the joy I had with chickens, but it’s also the basis of many a joke. I am a lover of the manly kind too, and could write some things that would probably change your opinion of me. I am hoping to get to the root of why that bothers me.

Over the weekend, a group of bicyclist were coming up the road. I spotted them right when I stepped out on the front porch. They didn’t see me immediately, but they saw the cock. One of them yelled, “What a cock!”, and they all laughed. I thought it was hilarious, but one of them said, “And the lady heard us too.”

It struck me as odd, out of all the words he could have said, he chose the word, ‘lady.’ I am a lady, and wear it like a well weathered cloak at times. To get to the more authentic me, to discover who I am today, maybe I need to let go of some of that lady. The word that came to my mind when I heard, “What a cock”, was….Aspirations.

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Barbara is a Writer, a Mom to her 17-year-old daughter, a recent Breast Cancer survivor, and she loves God. When she started this Blog in 2014 Letitgocoach was the name that stuck. She enjoys helping people Let Go of what is holding them back from having a beautiful life. Her life is beautiful, and an example of Letting Go and Letting God. You may connect with her via email. Letitgocoach@gmail.com

Rule Breaker

I feel like I have a lot I want to share. It was a matter of stopping long enough to write it out. I am staying home this weekend, so I’ve been going through the house doing things that bring me joy. My daughter left to go visit her Dad, so I started creating beauty.

Even though I always take time for beauty, when she leaves, I kick it up a notch. There are not a lot of rules in our home, but for the next three days there are none! My philosophy is, you should know what is good for you, what is bad for you, and do everything in love. This is how our day began, and let me say how grateful I am for my girl, and our life together.

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We love candles. We don’t buy just any candle though, they have to speak to us. Yesterday, we stood in front of an entire aisle of them at Target. None of them were screaming, ‘Pick me!’ I would rather buy one pretty one, that smells divine, than ten less expensive ones that I won’t enjoy. While I was looking them over, my daughter disappeared from the aisle.

She was on a mission to see if she could find one that smelled good, and was meaningful. This is the one she chose, and I knew she loved it for what it said. #Blessed. It also smelled good. She sat down at the table this morning, took the lid off, and lit a match. She knows we are blessed, so she lit it up. She has learned the little things make up the one big thing.

A Beautiful Life.

Earlier this week, she offered to go to the grocery store, and I happily made the list. She inquires a lot about my childhood, and asks if I had these things as I was growing up. The answer is usually no. I started making these choices when my daughter and I began this life together. I will do without paper towels until I find some that are pretty, and not plain.

img_20170224_111605270Something as simple as real maple syrup. This right here is a thing of beauty for me.

I had maple syrup on the grocery list, and this is what my daughter brought home. Does it cost more than the plastic bottle shaped woman? Sure it does, but not a lot more. Because it is real, it has a lot more flavor, so we use less. We don’t dump it on our food for it to soak it up. We pour it in shallow bowls to enjoy the color, and dip whatever we’re eating in it.

She made French Toast before she left, and I told her I would clean the kitchen. Before I started cleaning, I looked for something to munch on. I was craving some Party Mix. Opening the pantry, I saw I had enough ingredients left from Christmas to make a batch.

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My Mother made this at Christmas, and only Christmas. My daughter would be proud that I made a batch today, just because I could. It felt like I was breaking one of those rules that was instilled in me long ago. I had all the ingredients sitting there, so why not? Do you need to break some rules? Do you have beliefs that no longer fit the life you want today?

We get to choose what we bring into our life, and what brings us the most joy. Do I buy the case of white paper towels at the wholesaler, or do I wait to find a pretty roll, and smile every time I tear one off. I will choose to buy what brings joy, and enjoy using every single sheet. Now I have paper towels, because they were on the list, and my girl knows pretty.

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Barbara is a Writer, a Mom to her 17-year-old daughter, a recent Breast Cancer survivor, and she loves God. When she started this Blog in 2014 Letitgocoach was the name that stuck. She enjoys helping people Let Go of what is holding them back from having a beautiful life. Her life is beautiful, and an example of Letting Go and Letting God. You may connect with her via email. Letitgocoach@gmail.com