I woke up to the sound of a bulldozer knocking down trees next to my home. The woods that offered privacy, shade and homes for the animals are no more. Poof.
I stood at the kitchen window in horror as trees were tossed carelessly into a dumpster. Their life and the years they stood became irrelevant in the path of progress.
The last few days the machine’s have been still, and that’s been much needed. I knew the two lots were for sale, but didn’t realize they’d sold. Someone is building a couple of houses there, with one facing the street I live on, and another one facing the street behind me. My daughter and I had no warning this was about to happen. It all transpired within a moment’s notice.
This morning I sat in silence on my bench in the front yard for the first time in days. The one positive I’ve noticed is there’s more light with less trees. Over the weekend I was still adjusting to the new landscape, or the lack thereof and texted my daughter. I felt helpless over the situation and was distraught over the woods being gone. Then my daughter responded with this nugget of wisdom.
“I understand Momma. I wish we would’ve had a head’s up, but maybe it’s better that we didn’t”. ~My daughter.
When God wants us to stand still and trust in His plan, we relinquish control. Instead of focusing on what’s gone, I can appreciate what this change brought, such as more light and a cool breeze entering the yard. We won’t see His full plan immediately, but He’s watching how we behave in a moment’s notice.
I’m reading The Artist’s Way for a second time. This year my Kindle died, but instead of replacing the device, I’m replacing digital books with real ones. Julia Cameron was first on the list for replacement, and I found a whole stack of her books at a second hand sale. 🥳
The Morning pages and I have a longtime love/hate relationship. I still can’t write all three pages every morning, but one solid page is better than none. Maybe it’s something you have to build up to, like each stroke across the page is strengthening the muscle needed to go onto page 2 and then 3. I had to smile at Julia’s description of her Morning Pages in The Artist’s Way.
“In order to retrieve your creativity, you need to find it. I ask you to do this by an apparently pointless process I call the Morning Pages,” says Julia. That’s one of the things I fancy most about these spaces I’ve shared with you this week. Only one has a valid reason, and that’s only temporary. The other two are pointless, and have no solid reason behind them, but when you have no particular reason you stand before the door of possibilities.
This morning my corner wasn’t comfortable to write the Morning Pages, so I moved to the kitchen table. The first sentence said, “I don’t have much to say today,” but before long I was filling in the last line of the page. What Julia describes as an apparently pointless process, is where the magic in this simple practice is revealed.
At this stage of my life there is not a lot of reasoning behind the majority of what takes place. It’s not so much the actual space as it is allowing time within that space to grow.
Every time I listen to this song, I hear something different, but it holds the same message.
On the dating apps there’s a series of questions some want to go through. I answer them, but find myself not asking many in return. One man even asked, “Do you have any questions for me?” I replied, “Yes. Tell me who you are today.” That helps decide if they get a date.
It’s fun talking with my daughter about dating. She just turned 22, so the guys she’s talking with don’t have much of a past. They have so much life ahead of them to learn from. Some of the men around my age, or older are beat up by their past, and hesitant to try again.
I’m thinking about dating men younger than me, but not as young as my daughter. 🙂 By the age of 45 they’ve lived life, and have at least one divorce under their belt, but still have life in them. They haven’t let their past define them, instead they seem to know…
All the boats I’ve missed All the hell I’ve caused All the lips I’ve kissed All the love I’ve lost I got kicked around I’ve been black and blue On my way to you
Every moment allows space with endless possibilities. My goal is to not add so much to it that I ruin the moment.
Our cat has this new thing he’s been doing this week. I make my bed every morning, usually within 30 minutes of leaving it, but Friday I left it a mess. He casually strolls into my bedroom, hops up on the corner of the bed and curls up for a quick nap. He normally does this after I make it up, but today it’s unmade, so that doesn’t seem to matter to him. Maybe it’s the moment he’s after.
Now it’s 2:30 PM and the bed is still unmade.
I walked in to see what remnants were left behind from a Zoom earlier in the day, and spotted my favorite notebook, classic Kate Spade laying on the bed. I love this notebook, but earlier this week, I noticed it was almost out of pages. It was originally purchased to be used as a journal, but somehow transitioned over to notes from work. It has a hardcover, so it also doubles as a sturdy mouse pad.
They don’t make it anymore, but I asked my daughter to search and see if she can find it. She found one that is brand new, still in the package and for sale. She emailed me the link and it was purchased without hesitation.
I’m excited about getting the new one and it feels like having a second chance to use it more intentionally. Notes from work can be placed in any type notebook, as this notebook proves, not everything we love is easily replaced. Here I sit on a Friday, in a messy bed with the cat nearby, simply thrilled to have a second chance.
It’s become customary around 2:00 PM to be outside watering plants. My Dad used to say, “It’s the hottest part of the day”, but I’m beginning to embrace the heat. It’s not humid at that time, but it is hot.
As I was out there today, hose in hand with the spray nozzle attached, I noticed the sky getting dark, and clouds rolling in. I had worked my way around the yard and was spraying the last flower bed when I heard the thunder. Dropping the hose, because the nozzle is stainless steel, I rallied the dogs and we went inside.
It was funny but I couldn’t help thinking, if I’d waited 15 minutes before doing the watering myself, I would’ve seen there was a better plan.
Standing at the window, watching a steady rain drench everything I had just watered, the 50 foot watering hose lying in the rain seemed small. I whispered, “I’m sorry I ran out in front of you again.” That has happened on numerous occasions, and it’s a continual education discerning the difference between God’s timing and mine.
Then I felt Him smile and say, “Hey Barb. It was only 15 minutes. You’re doing better.”
Back in my Network Marketing days, it was often said, “Find somebody who has what you want, and do what they did.” It sounds simple enough, but what they don’t tell you is everything they had to go through to get there.
Walking into the house from tending the yard, I’d left the music playing and this is the song I heard. This was 2017, right as Sheeran was becoming well-known, but this duet was still a dream come true for him. I’m posting the actual video so you can see the look of awe and wonder on his face.
It’s obvious he feels honored to be there and have this opportunity to sing alongside Andrea Bocelli. I love the look on Ed’s face as he walks through the hallway lined with awards and photographs. He sees proof of what years of work and dedication will bring, and it shows as he takes it all in.
For the duet to come off without a hitch, Ed had to learn Italian and said, “If you’re going to be the best at something, let it be Italian.”
Andrea obliged doing this remake with Ed out of the love for his son, who is a huge Sheeran fan. As you’ll see in the video, they are sitting in a room full of love. When the song makes it’s final cut, Ed says, “Its exactly what I wanted.” I’m not sure if he’s referring to the song, or the feeling in the room.
Some days I feel like my life is one big Zoom. It started out as part of my job, but now I love it.
I purchased a monthly Zoom account and Zoom with people all over the world. The free version gives you 45 minutes, but we kept running over using a full hour. At first I saw it as an investment in my Team, but we use the time to invest in one another. I’m so pumped once the call is over my daughter steers me away from the coffee bar.
I have a call each week with some part of my Zen Habits community. It made me wonder if I could do something similar here in WordPress. This year, community has been a large part of my heart and you are my community. By reading your Blogs I’m sensing some of you are tired and becoming weary in the well doing.
Sunday at Noon has been on my mind for a while now. I knew it was a Blog title because it was three words, but didn’t know the rest. Then I was checking my bank account and saw the Zoom charge and heard, Sunday at Noon. Starting in July, I’ll hold space via Zoom for whoever needs lifting up. Come and let me see your face, Sunday at Noon.
Dogs are fabulous creatures, but what makes me smile more often is our cat. His name is Chomby, even though the Vet has him listed as Chungus. When using voice text on my phone, it records his name as Giambi. My daughter and I laughed and call him Giambi sometimes for the heck of it.
This week I watched him everyday just to see if he does this every morning, and he does. As soon as I let him out of his house, he goes straight to the window. This is before food, water, or even the potty box. I found his posture so intriguing and snapped this picture for you. It’s like he can’t wait to see what all is happening in the new day.
This week, I’ve seen myself doing something similar as Chombs. As soon as I wake up I find a window to look out of, but that wasn’t enough. I wanted to be outside. Yes, it’s hot, and humid, but I’m not willing to let that stop me. The sweet spot outside is found early in the morning. The flowers I planted in March and April aren’t going to care for themselves.
This morning, I noticed the flowers planted in the Vintage Flower cart looked sad. They weren’t getting enough water, or if they were, it was draining right through. I pulled them out and planted them in the shade. The flower cart was empty again. I’ve tried placing it in various places all over the yard, but this time I stood still and waited for the answer to come.
I spotted a bare patch of ground where the birdseed is poured every morning, so I rolled the flower cart there. Immediately I knew the birds would use it as a perch while taking turns eating the seed scattered below. For now, it serves a purpose empty, but we have a purpose to fulfill and empty won’t cut it. We can tap into what we know will fill us back up.
Seeing our cat faceplanted to a window reminds me to be excited for a new day. Let’s strive to be more like him.
I bought a candle. That’s nothing new, I know, but it’s taught me well so far.
I posted a picture of it on Facebook. Not surprising for my friends either, but that’s not why it was posted. It was to tag the local business owner who I purchased it from. She’s one of my people who feels like sunlight, and adds to my world. By her inspiration I changed the tagline of my Blog this year to ‘Never Settle. Don’t even think about it.’
To be inspired, surround yourself with inspiring people. Their energy alone feels light sunlight.
I’ve been eyeing these candles for a while. They’re like art, so the price feels more like an investment than buying a candle. My friend who owns the shop said, “Once the candle burns completely out, the artist will refill the bowl with another candle, and I could even choose a different scent.” That candlemaker/artist has no idea what she’s in for!
When I brought it home, the instructions said to let it burn all the way across the first time. I did and blew it out, but have lit is several times since, each time allowing it to burn to the edges of the wooden dough bowl. This morning, I forgot it was lit and it burned for hours. When I walked by, this is what I saw.
Most all of the wax melted and you can see the beauty of the wooden bowl. There’s something strangely satisfying having a flame sitting in wood, but not catching the wood on fire. This candle reminded me to get down to the raw beauty of it all, it helps to walk away, forget about it and let it burn.
It’s the little things in life that never cease to amuse me. Standing at my kitchen window after an hour’s worth of steady rain, looking at the plants I just watered yesterday. A smile came to my lips as I chuckled at the conversation I was having with God in my heart.
The weather forecast wasn’t calling for rain, but I can’t rely on weather predictions. The best way to know the weather around here is by noticing what it’s doing. God wants to be noticed and it was like He was saying, “If you’d waited Barb, you would have seen my plan for those plants.” We have conversations like that more than we should.
I depend on God in every situation, but sometimes I run ahead. One of my most spoken prayers is, “Here’s my life. I lay it at your feet. Your will be done, not mine.” Then I go on about my day with my plans and actions, so I’m grateful when God shows up with a similar plan, only better.
Life is amusing when it comes down to my plan versus God’s plan, and it’s instances like these that continue to amuse me. That’s my God.