The Bigger Plan

I had the plan. It was on my list for 2019.

Teeth fixed. √

Every time I’ve stepped into this plan of having my teeth fixed, it’s not gone as planned. Not my plan anyway. I was trying to save this one tooth and my Dentist was scheduled to remove the old filling and replace it with new. That was the plan and what I was prepared for in my mind.

He’s removed all the bad teeth and he’s stabilizing to replace. After he removed the filling, he decided it best to pull the tooth. The left side of my face was completely numb and I couldn’t feel a thing, but once he sat back in his chair, I knew what he meant.

Now Barb.

I freaked.

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I asked him to give me a minute and he left the room to check on another patient. Time to get my mind right, so I began taking deep breaths in and out. When he came back in I was ready to close my eyes and pray.

This wasn’t my plan, but it’s working toward the bigger plan. After he extracted the tooth, he announced that we could proceed with building the replacement teeth once the gum has healed. That’s great news!

There is growth in the process.

The Dentist has put me in this situation before and the first time it happened, I got up and left. At least I stayed still this time and it’s behind me. Onward to the bigger plan!

Flaws and All

I’ve been pondering the idea of posting a Blog everyday the month of December. I know Bloggers who post everyday and they have it all planned.

I don’t plan my posts. They form from a piece of inspiration I spotted within my day and grow from there. I ponder that little nugget until it has words swirling around it and then find a quiet moment to let them fall to the page.

December is a busy month. A lot of writers take the month off completely. There’s something I’ve learned from taking a break from something I love. When I leave, it ends.

There’s a struggle in the re-starting.

There’s no growth in the not doing.

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I asked a friend what she thought about me Blogging everyday this month and she reminded me how busy people are in December. That’s a valid point, but I don’t write for the the masses. This Blog has evolved into a haven of sorts. Readers know it’s going to be peaceful and calm.

Writing isn’t a task for me, or on my to-do list for the day.  It’s a gift and an honor to be used by God in this way. Flaws and all.

Take It Slow

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Honoring My Story

Saying ‘thank you‘ to that woman in the mirror for showing up. Seeing the words, ‘Well-being Wednesday’ and relating completely. Owning my worth and no longer giving away my worthiness.

Honor your story my darling, but keep adding to it. The story will become new along with you.

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Redefining Self Care

Self-care began as a weekend treat, but now it’s a part of my everyday life. My neighbor saw me sitting outside and asked, “What are you doing Barbara?”

Me: “Staring at a page with a question in the middle of it! It says, ‘I want to say thank you to myself because…'” He just nodded his head and said, “Okay Barbara!” 🙂

It didn’t phase him one bit. He thought it was normal for me to be doing that. I still haven’t filled in the page. How often have I said, ‘thank you’ to me?

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I can recall a handful of times.

This month I can feel a shift.

I show up for myself everyday, no matter what happened the previous day. To just continually show up and remain present. “Be still and know that I am God”, is one of my favorite verses. A season of stillness is where I am and so thankful to be aware and acknowledge it.

And be good with it.

I can begin filling in the page with, “Thank you Barbara for being still and standing calmly in place.” Just by showing up every day, no matter the circumstances, is a redefinition of self care.

A Divine Responsibility

I had planned on writing about Self-care Sunday. It was pondered continually and a couple of people asked, “What does that look like Barb?”

It’s ironic because I gave a different answer each time. It was like I couldn’t pinpoint just one thing and give a duplicate response. It was difficult to convey, but here I sit feeling very well cared for.

The weekend flowed from one thing to the other. It’s not that I have a feeling of accomplishment or really did anything noteworthy, but maybe it’s in the things I didn’t do.

I didn’t worry about anything.

I didn’t look at my work for tomorrow.

I didn’t strategize the week ahead.

I didn’t go to any of my favorite shops and become inundated with Christmas when we haven’t even had Thanksgiving yet. The world outside my home felt rushed. Sirens blared down the highway above my street every few minutes.

I lit the candle from Savor the Moments.

Every time I walked into my bedroom a deep breath was greeted by the scent from that candle. My workload was light this weekend, but I gave it my best. It would seem the ultimate self-care is a divine responsibility.

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This Will Help

I’ve watched it everyday this week. It’s the best part of parenting. To do what looks crazy and somewhat embarrassing, in hopes they secretly enjoy it enough to follow suit with their own kid one day.

If you need a smile my darling, this will help!