The First Sentence

I opened a letter from the imaging center where I had my most recent mammogram. The words filled the entire page, but after that first sentence, I didn’t need to read anymore.

“We are pleased to inform you that the results of your recent breast imaging exam(s) show no signs of Breast Cancer.” This last letter was the opposite of the first one I received exactly one year ago. The first letter told me the exam saw Cancer, and the last one said, “End of story.” There was a beginning, and an end, but my story is far from over.

Some of the journey is documented here, but who you see today is the woman on the other side. How did I survive? Through love, and God. That is also what you read about here.

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In the same way the first sentence of that letter caught my attention, so will the first sentence of a Blog. I’ve been reading a lot of Blogs recently, and they show me who I used to be. I’ve had the privilege of being a lot of what I read. The Entrepreneur, Motivational Speaker, Stepford Wife, Preacher/Teacher, and those roles helped create who I am today.

Even though I may not fully see her yet, I know where she’s been. I don’t write long Blogs, because after about 500 words, I lose interest, and imagine you would too.

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Do you ever wonder why you’re here? I have been thinking about that a lot, and I don’t really know why. All I know is, God opened this door three years ago, and here I stand.

I love to write, and am working on two books to be published. I want to give you something to hold in your hands, write in, and highlight different colors. Using a Kindle, or tablet is all fine and good, but it’s not the same highlighting a screen, as it is a paper page.

Seeing who you’re not anymore, helps you along the path of who you want to be. Every circumstance has strengthened my character, and my relationship with God. Sitting here I am reminded of the first sentence of an Ed Sheeran song. “I gave all my oxygen to people that could breathe.” Been there done that. Today, I can tell you how good it feels to breathe.

meBarbara is a Writer, a Mom to her 17-year-old daughter, a recent Breast Cancer survivor, and she loves God. When she started this Blog in 2014 Letitgocoach was the name that stuck. She enjoys helping people Let Go of what is holding them back from having a beautiful life. Her life is beautiful, and an example of Letting Go and Letting God. You may connect with her via email. Letitgocoach@gmail.com

How God Works

There is something about getting ready for bed, and purposefully not setting an alarm. I didn’t set my alarm lastnight, and my body woke up when it was ready. It was still early though.

My daughter is coming home today! She has been gone for a week. Her father took her to Denver, CO to see snow. I believe she saw some, and I’m sure she had fun, but she will be glad to be home. Traveling is good for us, but there is no other feeling as walking through the door of your home.

I’ve been listening to Ed Sheeran’s new album, Divide, the entire time she’s been gone. It’s been a healing experience for me, and very nourishing. Listening to it has created a more peaceful space for her to walk into. Not that is wasn’t peaceful before, but now it’s moreso.

I will run the vacuum, and go to the grocery store before she gets here. What used to be mundane chores, I look forward to them today. It’s the people I will meet while out doing what needs to be done. Stopping by a couple of my favorite shops along the way, maybe buying a candle, or some flowers, and spending time with the people that run the shops.

God has used me in the craziest instances while I’m out and about. Once, on my way out of the grocery store, I spotted a lady in front of me. She had a cart full of groceries, and was trying to safely maneuver it to her car, while talking on the phone. She sounded rather stressed, and said to the person on the phone, “I forgot Ziploc bags!”

I rarely buy Ziplock bags, but that day, I had bought two boxes. I swiftly pulled my cart along beside hers, and handed her a box of mine. She almost dropped her phone!

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That is how God works. If we are attentive to what He places in front of us.

My to-do list today, looks much different from years ago. I don’t have things that ‘need’ to be done, or ‘have’ to be completed. I ‘want’ to run the vacuum so my daughter doesn’t see the floors covered in grass from the traffic in and out of the house. It brings me great joy when she walks in and says, “Gosh! The house smells so good!” Candles…lots of candles.

Glancing around at my candle supply, they look pretty sad. Almost all used up, so I have a shop in mind to pick up a new one. It’s not about the candle. God knows how much I love them, so that will get me in the shop. It’s about the lady who works there.

She has a friend that recently had a double mastectomy, and she has been helping her through her journey. There is a lot of negativity in her journey. She is looking at what has been done ‘to’ her, instead of what’s being done ‘for’ her. My friend knows about my Breast Cancer Journey, so I can shed a positive light on it, and lift her spirits.

People need replenishing. John 14:4 says, “But those who drink the water I give will never be thirsty again. It becomes a fresh, bubbling spring within them, giving them eternal life.” Spending quiet time with God, and listening to music replenishes me. I have time, and my friend doesn’t. She may not have time to sit at the well, but I can bring it to her.

Barbara is a Writer, a Mom to her 17-year-old daughter, a recent Breast Cancer survivor, and she loves God. When she started this Blog in 2014 Letitgocoach was the name that stuck. She enjoys helping people Let Go of what is holding them back from having a beautiful life. Her life is beautiful, and an example of Letting Go and Letting God. You may connect with her via email. Letitgocoach@gmail.com

 

 

Feel the Music (Overcomer)

I have been waiting all day for an inspiration.

Listening to the radio, and paying attention to every song, but nothing resonated.

I was calling it a day, and stretched out to read some Blogs from my WordPress community. As I was reading a Blog written by simplemesimplelife, I cannot even describe what came over me. She wrote a beautiful Blog, learning about Letting Go, and you can read it here. In the last paragraph, she mentions me, and refers to me as a kindred spirit, and an overcomer.

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I was overcome with emotion that she would mention me, and refer to me as an Overcomer. My darling friend, thank you for inspiring me for tonight’s song.

I have not thought of myself in that way before, but that is what my Blog reveals. The star of my story is God. Whatever it is you may be going through, I know He’s not gonna let it get the best of you! Turn them speakers up, and remind yourself. You’re an Overcomer!

My Kinda Stupid

This has been sitting in my drafts for a couple of weeks. Some moments in life can cause us to look stupid. Maybe it just took time for me to share my stupid.

This has become the big laugh in our home. When you hear the whole story, you have my permission to say, “Stupid gurl.” Lol

But you know I am gonna get a God lesson out of it, and that is what I really want to share. It all started when I gave my dog a bath.

We live in this 1940’s Farmhouse, and the tub has the original lever built in that closes the drain. It also has a manual stopper that you press down to stop the water from leaving.

After my dog was bathed, I unplugged the stopper from the drain, but it didn’t drain. We’ve had a lot of rain recently, so I thought maybe it was clogged with mud from outside. I asked my landlord to look at it. He said it was clogged so he unclogged it, but my tub still wouldn’t drain. You see how I asked for help, but even that didn’t fix my problem?

I took matters into my own ‘fix it’ hands, and drove down to the store, and came home with a bottle of Drano. Following the directions on the back of the bottle, I was already looking forward to my shower. I poured half the bottle down the drain, and waited.

My daughter is very particular about following directions on the back of bottles. Especially toxic chemicals, so I told her I wouldn’t plunge it. It says not to on the bottle, but oh, how I really wanted to! I had been waiting, so I wanted it to unclog right now!

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I was sitting on the side of the tub, and I remembered it said to pour hot water down the drain. My mother used to heat the water in a kettle, because the water coming out of our pipes are not heated to the intensity to scald us, so I heated up a kettle of water.

As I was doing this I was realizing that I don’t want to get to a point in my life where God has to do all this to me for me to obey. The Drano, scalding hot water, and please don’t plunge me! There have been times where I felt stupid, because I didn’t want to see the reality of the situation.

God has used the plunger on me before, but I hope I have learned enough that He doesn’t have to do that today. Actually, I hope I don’t allow myself to become clogged again.

As I was sitting on the side of the tub, I noticed the old, built in lever was pointing upward. I didn’t recall messing with the lever, but I must have because it had moved. I didn’t think the lever would close the drain on this old house, but I guess it had enough strength left in it to do just that.

I reached over, pressed it down with one finger, and all the water went rushing down the drain. How simple was that? Every time my landlord asks, “How is your drain? Is it still doing okay?”, I laugh outloud at how silly the entire ordeal was, but it made me realize how difficult I can make life, and how simple it is to just go with the flow.

First and Last

I woke up this morning to the sweetest Meme awaiting approval on my Facebook Timeline. She posted it my personal page, but I met this woman on my Letitgocoach Facebook Page.

tycoach2This is not the first time, and I hope it won’t be the last. To hear it is oh so sweet.

The appointment with my Oncologist went very well on Monday. We basically thanked one another for being there, and said our good-byes. He said if anything comes up where I need him, to just call. Well, let’s just say, “Thank you Doc, but I hope this is the last time.”

I have my mammogram tomorrow morning. This will be the first one in exactly one year. The first time I had one it showed the lump in my breast, and was extremely painful! They are not supposed to be painful lovely. I had waited until I couldn’t wait any longer to go have the mammogram. I remember standing there, hugging the machine, and sobbing.

This one won’t be painful, unless I have a really sucky technician. My hope is that I have the same one I had the first time, so she can see what God did in that year.

I’m a completely different woman from the first time, but it won’t be my last.

My surgeon wants me to have one every 6 months for two years. I looked at her like, “Gosh! Will this journey ever end?” The journey continues, and I’m just better than I was at the first. Thank you God it wasn’t my last.

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Barbara is a Writer, a Mom to her 17-year-old daughter, a recent Breast Cancer survivor, and she loves God. When she started this Blog in 2014 Letitgocoach was the name that stuck. She enjoys helping people Let Go of what is holding them back from having a beautiful life. Her life is beautiful, and an example of Letting Go and Letting God. You may connect with her via email. Letitgocoach@gmail.com

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Feel the Music

After publishing Use Your GPS, I  thought of my drafts folder. I knew of one that was waiting on me, because I had written it lastnight. I feel led to post it, so here’s to obedience!

I  believe evenings can be hard on the heart. The day is coming to an end, and you are slowing down. I don’t know your story, but you are sitting in mine. Music is a healer of the heart for me. When I hear a certain song, I can just feel it in my heart, like it’s trying to help.

 

Driving home yesterday afternoon, I heard Big Daddy Weave singing this on the radio.

If I told you my story
You would hear hope that wouldn’t let go
If I told you my story
You would hear love that never gave up
If I told you my story
You would hear life but it wasn’t mine

If I should speak then let it be

When I hear a song I believe God wants me to share, I will post it in the evening when we tend to be at our weakest. It will be a song I heard that day, and I thought of you. When you see, “Feel the Music”, my hope is that you can forget everything for 5 minutes, and just feel.

Face Your Fear

I have to get ready soon, for an appointment with my Oncologist. Today will be the first time I’ve seen him since finishing Chemo last September. I get to tell him ‘thank you’, and ‘goodbye.’

They say he won’t tell me, ‘Congratulations! You are Cancer free!’ Thanks to my Breast Cancer Journey, I feel more free today in many ways. My current hair color is a good example.

I don’t need proof today, or all the reasons the Cancer is gone. I know it was God.

My daughter dyed my hair this weekend, and it didn’t turn out quite as we planned. My hair is naturally a dark color, so she bleached it, but that got it to a pale orange stage. When she added the purple it literally looked orange, and purple, so yesterday we tried it again.

I was okay with the pale orange and lavender mass, but felt we could do better. She sat me down, and we went through the entire bleaching, toning, and conditioning process once again. In our minds, we were trying to achieve the look in the picture of Repeat If Desired.

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After all of that, she dried my hair, and I just sat with it for a minute. She pulled out half a dozen jars of hair color for me to choose from, and asked if I still wanted purple. I didn’t realize I had so many other choices! My daughter has played with the color of her hair a lot, and she showed me a picture of what she looked like with each one. I couldn’t decide.

Which one was best for me? The one that interested me most was a dark green. It was so dark it looked black in the jar. She said that would take my hair back to a very dark color, with just a tinge of emerald, but we had been through so much! Did I want to go back?

I have not been a bleached blonde in my life, that I can remember, so this is new to me. I told her I was going to sit with it for a few days with it just being bleached, and see if I wanted a color. It’s already a color to me, and drastically different than what I had two days ago.

When I was going through Chemo, a lot of people there wore wigs. I never wore one, and just walked around bald. I told her when I walk into the Cancer Center on Monday, people will probably think it’s a wig! It doesn’t matter what people think, I know it’s real.

Maybe that would scare some people, knowing they can’t take it off their head at the end of the day. To be honest, it scared me a little bit too, but which is scarier? Having hair this color, or no hair at all, because I was hairless for a while. It’s not about the hair darling.

It was all about the journey that got me here. Sitting in a small bathroom, with my daughter for two days. Listening to some of our favorite songs, and talking about life. Giving her the freedom to be creative, and trusting my hair in her hands, are just some of the memories captured by this color. I can always shave my hair, but it’s those moments that remain.