Be More Clear

I ran into a friend yesterday, and she asked, “Are you okay?” She had a look of concern on her face, and I assured her that I was. She had read my Blog about the Cancer scare, and wanted to make sure I was all good. She is not the only friend that wasn’t sure, so let’s see if I can be more clear.

A lot of what we go through in life is a test of some sort.

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I don’t believe there is Cancer in my breast. The technician wasn’t sure what she was seeing during the sonogram, so I had the films sent to my Oncologist who knows my history. He didn’t see anything concerning, but wants to see my next film in six months. I’m not worried, so don’t you be either!

God used that situation to reach the right people, and I now have really good health insurance! WooHoo!

In March, or April of next year, I will have another mammogram, and have faith for God’s best. Since walking out of the imaging center a month ago, I have made life changes, and am still making them. When God shows me His best, I want to give Him my best in return. The entire incident brought this to the forefront of my mind. “What do I want my life to look in six months? Am I living God’s best?”

A Good Problem

Blogging is like having a public journal.

Blogging has worked, because I kept misplacing journals whenever we moved. Writing publicly is healing, and can help others heal, so yes, it’s like letting everyone read your journal. I am behind, so let’s take some time to catch up.

I promised a friend I would write about this, so here it is E!

In August, I read a book by Melodie Beattie entitled, Make Miracles in Forty Days. You may be aware, I’m a huge Melody fan, and treasure all her books, but this one intrigued me. I believe in miracles, and believe I’m a walking miracle, so I read the book, and did what she said.

At first glance it seemed like another gratitude list exercise, but there’s a twist! You write what you’re grateful for, but you also write what you’re NOT grateful for.

On August 26th my writing began. At first it was habitual to list everything I was grateful for. Referring back to the book, I learned how to phrase things that were bothering me. Here are a few examples, along with their outcome.

You begin by writing, “I am grateful today that…”

My doctor wants to see me, even though I don’t know why. (The miracle is they were not alarmed by my mammogram and agreed to see me In Six Months)

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I have a dependable job, and get to work from home, even though I would like to make more money. (I was offered a new job)

I love my home, but would like for my daughter to live closer to town, her friends, and her father. (We are moving into a new home, near the lake, January 1st) I love the lake.

You get the idea. I’m grateful for a beautiful life, and this exercise helped open my heart, and mind for changes that needed to be made. The journaling continued longer than 40 days, because I still do it today. You can also do this with a friend via email. To just stay grateful, and let God work.

I told a friend, “I don’t know how many more of God’s blessings I can take!

That is a good problem to have.

Follow the Light

There was a beautiful sunrise this morning.

Walking out onto the front porch, I actually did a double take when I saw it. It gave me peace, and knowing, that if God can do something that breathtakingly beautiful each morning, then He has a beautiful plan for our lives as well.

I read a Blog post recently, where the Blogger had posted a picture of his work space. He encouraged the reader to post a picture of theirs. We probably all have the desk, and chair setup, similar to his, but my favorite place to Blog, is sitting in the middle of my bed. As I type this I realized, I’m at my desk. This new day is streaming through the den windows.

It’s all about the light for me, and following the light.

The bed Blog doesn’t happen until later in the day, when the light is dancing around the room. There is just something about sitting in that light while writing. My fellow Blogger stated he sits at his desk 14 hours a day. Well, you can just add that to my list of the don’t wants.

Life is happening outside, and we have windows and doors that allow glimpses of it to come in. My hope is you are not spending your life staring at a screen, or sitting at a desk. I have spent a lot of my life doing both of those, but that is not for me anymore. Where is the light dancing in your life?

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It’s Old School

I visit people almost daily. Just to ask how their life is going, and then listen. Sometimes, it’s just for a hug if I sense they need one. Never turn down a heartfelt hug. It’s healing.

It’s old school, and that is where I enjoy being today.

Every now and then, I leave my phone at home on purpose, just to check and see if I miss it. Can’t say that I have. The person I’m with is more important than what my phone is doing. It’s like saying, “I love you more than my phone.”

I wrote this a couple of nights ago:

My daughter and I are sitting here quietly typing on our laptops. She has Classical Piano softly playing in the background. It’s peaceful, and the kind of moment you want to last indefinitely. I appreciate at her young age that she effortlessly creates moments like this. She will pass them along to her family, and they will have moments.

Breaking the ties to my phone, and social media is one of the best things I’ve done all year. To be present, and enjoy what’s happening in the now. My daughter told me in June, “You are always staring at that phone!” Now she tells me when it makes a noise, and I can’t remember where it is. She doesn’t see my hunting for it, over spending time with her.

As Gibbs would say, “It’s old school.” Well Gibbs, I like it.

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Gibbs is portrayed by Mark Harmon on the TV show, NCIS.

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You’re Not Alone

I published a Blog yesterday, and went back into my Blogsite and deleted it. The same thing happened today. Write, edit, publish, and an hour later, delete. To the 5 people who read them both, “I apologize if I scarred you for life.”

My email followers received notifications of the posts. Clicked on the link, and stared at air. I apologize to you too. I have discovered that waiting on this appointment next week causes me to feel vulnerable. I don’t mind being vulnerable, but to let someone read about it, amplifies the feeling.

If you’re a writer, maybe you do the same thing.

Publish a Blog, and then delete it, or maybe you have some in drafts that you can’t bring yourself to finish, and publish. I have some of those too, but there is something I’ve learned.

No matter how sucky I think that published Blog may be…it’s going to help someone. It’s going to have something in there that someone needs to see. So, maybe if I write this at night, hit publish, and go to bed, you can read it while I sleep. Because waiting on Tuesday to arrive is not working.

My instinct is to disappear for a few days, and become quiet.

To remove myself from the lives of the people I love, so they don’t have to be a part of what I’m going through. That is my way of protecting them. Well, the last time I checked, my circle of people are some brilliant, grounded adults who can decide whether they need protection or not.

I believe you are only as alone as you allow yourself to be.

I don’t feel alone, so thank you, for not leaving me alone.

 

Transitioning to Organic

A friend made a comment about the Food for One post.

She said, “Buying all organic is expensive!”

I used to think so too, so what happened? Just like every form of change, it took baby steps in the right direction.

The first time we bought Tillamook cheese. My daughter and I were standing in an organic supermarket staring at the large block for $7.00. This young lady rushes up next to us, with a baby strapped to her front, a toddler by the hand, and grabs a block of cheese. She looked at us and said, “It’s the main reason I come in here. Worth every penny!”

We use that cheese for everything, and it grates beautifully. I stopped buying pre-grated cheese because of the caking agent used to prevent clumping.

When we ran out of milk, we replaced it with Organic. We used to drive to a local dairy farm and buy raw milk. If you have access to that you are in heaven. Raw milk has a head of cream, so you are getting your milk and creamer in one.

It takes a long time for 2 people to go through a gallon of milk, and the raw milk was sold in gallons. We couldn’t drink it before it expired, so we opted for a half-gallon of Organic. It’s the same price, or less, than a store brand gallon of milk.

Whenever we would run out of a normal item, we would replace it with an Organic, or farm raised version. We raised chickens for years, and learned about fresh eggs. We raised certain chickens for colored eggs.

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The shell color doesn’t matter. They are just pretty.

Years later, our pantry is not full of junk. We rarely buy anything canned, or food in a box. We try to stick to the 5 ingredient rule. If the item has more than 5 ingredients listed, it stays at the store. It may have more than 5, but we make sure we know what they are. Oreos excluded.

Feel the Music (Plumb)

Prayer doesn’t need to be complicated.

My two favorite are, “Thank you God”, and “God help me.”

It’s been a quiet year, and I have made it even more quiet. Life gets quiet, like God is giving us a break before He shows us what’s next. I’ve never been good at ‘staying’.

This song comes on the radio every time I hop in my truck.

My prayer today is, “God. Help me to do whatever you would ask of me, and help me to stay.”

 

Enjoy the Day

My daughter and I don’t own a television, by choice.

Nothing good was added to our life from the noise.

You can hear the natural flow of the day when there is no additional noise. The air conditioning is blowing steadily through the air vent above my head. Sitting in the middle of my bed while typing, the cool air is landing on the back of my neck, arms, and shoulders. There is a ceiling fan in the room, but I cannot hear it spinning over the air conditioning.

There several reasons I let go of my phone, but the noise was a big one. Even turning it to silent, it would light up with quiet noise. I tested myself this week, and left my phone at home while out with my daughter. The only part I missed was the ability to take a picture of our moments together.

I’ve never carried a camera, but maybe that is what’s next.

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Pure-Hearted Humility

My first year of Blogging, a lady commented on one of my posts that I had been nominated for a Blogger award. I had no clue what that meant, so I thanked her, and continued writing.

I read a Blog this morning by Liz at My Well-being and Learning Journey. She had been nominated for an award. By being nominated, you are asked to nominate 15 other Bloggers. (When I began Blogging, I didn’t know 5, much less 15.) She didn’t pinpoint any nominees. By reading her post, consider yourself nominated. Liz is pure-hearted humility.

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Be Happy Now

Happiness is top priority for me.

I have let go of a lot this year to find the happines in me.

If you are new here, you should know I have already let go of materialism. Things didn’t bring happiness, and today, I live a very simple life. The more simple my life, the happier I am with me. The rest of this year will bring more letting go, but I am in a good space to share with you what I’ve done so far.

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To find out how happy you are, you need to be still.

By staying busy, and focusing on the task at hand, you might be happy. We are going to gently take away the noise of life, and get down to the being of happy.

This may seem like an odd topic with what my daughter is going through right now, but she has been studying me since she was 5 years old. She knows what all I have removed from my life to find this level of contentment.

This morning, we went for coffee together, and I told her, “I am happy being me.” No outside influences involved, just me. She knows one of the biggest things I let go of was my phone, and her phone is bringing her a lot of unhappiness.

To be a living, breathing example is the best thing to do.

My hope is that some of what I let go of will resonate with you, and you can learn to be happy now.