Creating That Space

Last November, I went to the lake near my home and sat down to just stare at the water. I knew there was too much on my plate, but had forgotten, I’m the one holding the spoon.

My daily life was full of unfulfilling acts. Life is designed to be fulfilling, but my actions were fulfilling a need in others, and draining me. It’s been a gradual process beginning in January.

balance

I sat down at the lake craving calm. This stack of rocks was sitting to my right, and I wanted my life to be as Zen as this moment. I wondered where the rocks came from, but saw it as a divine appointment. They were sitting there, so I would see them. In the stillness, I heard three words, ‘Scrape your plate.’

I was raised in an era where I was responsible for everything I put on my plate. At dinner Mama would watch as we scooped out large portions of mashed potatoes, or took one too many slices of ham. She never forced us to eat everything she offered, but she expected us to eat what we took out.

Before leaving the table she’d say, “Clean your plate.”

She was never angry if I didn’t eat everything, but she wanted me to learn the value of her time. I learned to take out what I knew I could eat, and go back for seconds if still hungry, but I lost that lesson somewhere along the way. We control the spoon.

I’d help clear the table, and Mama would open the kitchen trashcan, point to it and say, ‘Scrape your plate’.

There’s a balance to life, but also a timing.

As soon as the new year began, I knew what needed to be scraped. Some people would be upset, and others disappointed, but I’d get through it. Anything I laid my hand to that wasn’t fulfilling got removed from the plate. By the end of June my plate was clean, except for my one job taking up adequate space.

And I haven’t picked up another spoon. Finding that space.

jamesclear

This is in continuation of Finding That Balance.

Feel the Music

There was a time in my life I stopped feeling the music. Sure, I would listen to the lyrics, but to let the music get inside and move you. That’s what this series is about.

When this song comes on the radio, my daughter grins.

My feet start tapping as I turn up the volume, and yell, “Whip whip!” It’s impossible to sit still during this song!

My daughter has watched me begin writing less. She wants me to continue writing, but there has been a shift. Writing isn’t the forefront of my life today. I’m living life and taking time to jot it down.

There have been many changes this year and there will be more. I’m to a point where I just want to be used by God however He sees fit. He has used me a lot in life and I have done and been a lot of things, but He’s not done yet!

I don’t want to step gracefully through the pearly gates. I want to take a running start and slide through head first. To live each day and roll with what He lays in front of me.

To make God proud. I’m willing to do whatever it takes.

 

A Better Way To Live~Day 7

One week ago, I celebrated 16 years of sobriety. The first thing I do each morning is to thank God for waking me up sober. Each day is truly a gift, and waking up without a hangover, is an absolute miracle.

Each day is a special gift from God, and while life may not always be fair, you must never allow the pains, hurdles, and handicaps of the moment to poison your attitude and plans for yourself and your future. You can never win when you wear the ugly cloak of self-pity, and the sour sound of whining will certainly frighten away any opportunity for success. Never again. There is a better way.

 

I had to let go of the person I was so familiar with, and open my heart and mind to who I could become. There was no room for negative thinking, or feeling sorry for myself for all the years spent drinking. The pain and hurt caused by my actions were in the past, and I was ready to make amends and embrace the present.

By accepting there is a higher power greater than myself, I was willing to follow His plan for my life. After all, my plan had placed me where I was, and that was not desirable anymore. It was time for a new life, and a new me. Thank you God for waking me up sober, and thank you for my new life.

*Quote taken from “A Better Way to Live”, by Og Mandino.