The Scattered Words

My Fearless community adds value to my life. On our Team call, I recommended the Morning Pages to a Team member, because I used to do them and saw value in them. Then I asked myself, “Why did you stop writing them Barb?”

My Fearless Team member ran with the idea, and has 3 weeks under his belt. He’s doing so well with it, he inspired me to start writing them again. The main reason I stopped was out of frustration. I couldn’t complete the 3 pages of longhand Julia recommends, but then I heard her voice say, ‘Grab three pieces of paper.’

I’d been using a notebook to write the morning pages, and it was uncomfortable to write in. It was bulky and larger than a regular piece of notebook paper. Eyeing the stack of notebook paper from my daughter’s school stash, I grabbed three pieces of paper and laid them on the table. As I began to write I felt my hand glide across the page and noticed it was resting flat on the table, not elevated by the thickness of the notebook. After completing page one, I went on to page two and then three!

Morning pages are to be written first thing in the morning, and it’s different than Blogging. These are thoughts not fully formed in the mind and feel scattered. Pen to paper helps pull them together and smooth them out. They are not to be shared with anyone, so you can say whatever you darn well please. I do this before anything else, even coffee, so there’s a commitment.

As soon as your eyes open you’ll need:

Three pieces of paper.

Your favorite writing utensil.

Staring out a window helps gather thoughts.

What better place to scatter words than onto an empty page? Be happy and well loved. ~Barb

A Simple Habit

There’s a purple, leather notebook laying open all day. A silver and purple pen rests on top of the pages ready to write. The dark purple ribbon lays across the page marked with today’s date.

This is where I write my tiny things attributing to the self-trust cultivator, or as you fondly call it, The Done List. I’m moving into week 4 of self trust, and week 3 was THE best week. It was the week that I could see it becoming a habit.

Procrastination has left the building. Now, to stick with it.

success

They say it takes 21 days to form a new habit, and I believe that. What they don’t elaborate on is how long it takes to instill it. How long do we have to continue before it becomes a new portion on our plate of life? Well my darlings…it takes months.

Week 4 will be interesting. That is the week the newness wears off, and the excuses arise. I’m going to stick with it though because I’m building to Month 2, where I get to do it all over again!

After 2 months, it will be a habit, and feel natural.

I’ve been thinking a lot about habits. What works for me is to start off small. I would like to have more physical activity in my life, like walking. Yes, it’s been hot, but that shouldn’t keep me from walking. I start out small, and tell myself, “Just walk to the end of the street Barb.” To the end of the street is simple.

As a matter of fact, I did that, but got to the end of the street, and the over achiever in me showed up. Instead of turning around and walking back home, I took a left and walked another few blocks. That killed it because it started to feel like exercise. Here I was with no water bottle, sweating and panting my way home!

Round 2: Barb tries again and keeps it simple.

consistency

I walked to the end of the street, turned around and walked home. No hesitation at the intersection this time, just followed the simple instruction. Victory! It was amazing the difference in the way I felt. It wasn’t that I had completed a marathon, it was that I kept my word, and didn’t disappoint.

We make it a priority to keep our word to others, but what about ourselves? I encourage you to stop putting your desires last on the list. You get this one life, so make room by creating and implementing a simple habit.

A Level Life

You can smell the coffee. Not that it’s being made, but that so much has been ground and brewed, it lingers. The coffee bar is in the middle of the house, so you could say, it’s at our core.

This morning as I was writing down my completed actions of the self trust cultivator, everything I did took place in the core of the house. Fed and watered the animals in the hallway. Brushed my teeth in the hall bath, and began a load of laundry in the hallway. Started the Chemex at the coffee bar.

What took place in the core, fed everyone’s core.

chemex

There’s a flow in life, and it starts at the core.

Our cat let me know his water bowl was empty by hopping in the kitchen sink trying to find water. He knows what a water spout looks like, and was hoping to find some in the sink. It took me a minute to figure out what he was doing, but when I put him on the floor, he went to the bathtub, another water source.

Then I saw his empty water bowl.

When the balance and flow of life coincide, it feels like everything is lined up and level. After I took this picture, it was reassuring to see how everything lined up. The level is sitting on the corner of my desk, and that wouldn’t be good to have a desk off center. It would effect the balance of every task at the desk.

alevellife

My first full-time job was working in a custom frame shoppe. I learned so many life skills with that job. Every cut of the frame, glass and mat was based on precision, and performed by hand. We relied on math for it to fit together perfectly.

When cutting the mat to go around the picture, we’d leave 1/2 an inch more mat at the bottom. Once in the frame, the mat looked equal on every side, but adding that 1/2 an inch at the bottom is what made it look even to the naked eye.

Thanks to that job, I have a keen sense of awareness in being centered. I lay that little level in the picture above on everything. After hanging a picture, it gets the level laid on it.

If you feel off centered, or unbalanced, start at the core and then take in your surroundings. The core craves balance, but our surroundings can have a negative effect on that. It could be something like a picture hanging crooked, or a piece of furniture that’s been knocked off center.

Our wood floor has a flow of the grain, so all the rectangular tables in our home are pointing in that direction. They are flowing with the grain in the wood floor, along with the center of the house which is like a long rectangular core.

Find a small level and lay it on all the areas of your life.

My hope for you is to live a level life.

Keep Showing Up

The Done List is so much more than getting things done. It’s saying yes to your heart more. It’s when you hear that still small voice give a reminder of what’s good for you.

I have access to a morning meditation via zoom, every morning at 9:00 am. I’ve attended before, and it was nice, but there’s one issue. I’m in the wrong zone in more ways than one.

It’s at 9:00 am to accommodate various time zones. The man I work with lives in CA, so by 9:00 am, I’m already planning what to do for him, before his day begins. (He’s pacific time, and I’m central.)

girl in green jacket holding potted plant
Photo by cottonbro on Pexels.com

I’m sitting quietly at the coffee table with coffee.

Looking up at the clock, it’s says 8:50 am, and I sense, “You should really sit in on that meditation.” All life really asks of us is to just show up. Otherwise, I’ll sit here and think of all the excuses not to, or put it off until tomorrow, so I joined in.

My Zen community is so peaceful, and serene, but I only lasted about 10 minutes. It’s just the wrong time of day for me to be fully present, but maybe I’ll get there. Disrupting patterns to make room for what the heart wants.

The heart knows even when we don’t.

I wrote it down on my done list, because I did the immediate thought. I listened to the heart, and followed through with no expected outcome. I was disappointed for a moment for not completing the mediation, but it’s progress, not perfection.

I was happy with myself for just showing up.

It’s uncertain if I’ll begin to thoroughly enjoy this 9:00 am community meditation, but I’m learning to live with the uncertainty. For what the heart wants, just keep showing up.

Living In Enoughness

Today’s magical word for me is ‘Enoughness’. I love taking words such as, Awesome, and Fabulous, and adding ‘ness’ to them. Then you have Awesomeness and Fabulousness!

Let’s look at Enoughness. Leo Babuata of Zen Habits, is one of my Hero Writers. He inspires me, and prompts me to think. Leo has been writing for 25 years.

I’ve been struggling with writing thanks to Chemo, because it fogs the brain. I want to write everyday, but it’s a challenge.

I have found over the years, that God has given me more than enough. Am I happy with what I have? I am overjoyed! Simplifying my life has brought me tremendous freedom!

How can less be more than enough? Time, patience, gratitude, and God.

dream

Yesterday was my 12th Chemo Treatment, and now I will enjoy a 3 week break. I am so excited! Hopefully, the time off from Chemo, will allow me to practice my writing skills.

So, back to Enoughness. All I needed to start Blogging was a laptop. Well, that was easy enough. Looking around at my life, I always have what I need, when needed. The other day, my daughter needed a Sharpie. I knew we had to have one, I just wasn’t sure where. Looking through all the drawers to no avail, I opened a cabinet, to pull out a bowl. There was the Sharpie. It had fallen from the back of the drawer, and landed in the stack of bowls below.

Gratefulness. Staying grateful for everything God has given us. Even that Sharpie.

My mind is shutting down, so I leave you with Leo’s wisdom. This is his Blog about Enoughness, which I hope you will take a minute to enjoy. “All You Need, You Already Have.”