Rooted in Real

After I Bled Out, a shift happened, and I wanted real.

I’ve been a part of and seen the effects social media has on well-being. It wasn’t healthy for me, so I stepped away, and have no desire to go back. This Blog hasn’t been connected to any social media for weeks, but people are finding it, and reading it. My stats didn’t bottom out from no connection.

My soul bottomed out while it was connected.

I stopped downloading books on Kindle, and ordered real ones. The kind you can hold in your hands, and mark up a page if needed. I ordered some magazines for the first time in 20 years for the same reason. Not to mention they are pretty laying on the coffee table for everyone to enjoy.

My screen time is minimal, but present moments abound.

I don’t have to check my phone before bed, and when I awake.

I check in with God instead.

When I started this Blog, it was to have a space that held a recap of our lives for my daughter. I’ve done that, and we are on a new chapter. This new chapter will be in book form, that you can hold in your hands, and feel something real. I want every area of my life to be rooted in what’s real.

light

https://www.patreon.com/letitgocoach

Be a Friend

Going with the flow is sometimes difficult.

It’s so worth it if you can allow it to happen.

I was sitting at my desk, planning parts of my day. I had typed up a message, but hadn’t hit send yet, when my daughter walked up, and stood at my desk. I looked up at her, and grinned, knowing that she wanted something.

She asked if I could take her to pick up her car from the shop. It was ready. I deleted the message, and said yes. I had been playing message tag with this gentleman all week, over a piece of furniture I have for sale. It can wait.

life

My daughter gave me this for Christmas.

Opening the pantry in search of a bottle of water, I find one bottle of water sitting there. My daughter and I drink water by the case! She left the last one for me. It’s what we do. We leave the last of something for the other person, but I have been known to become selfish over the last piece of chocolate.

Unfortunately, my daughter believes it’s normal how we treat one another. She expects the same treatment from friends, but they weren’t raised in our home. She wants to make new friends since our move, and she asked me yesterday, “Mom? How do you make friends?”

I believe we show people how we want to be treated.

My daughter went to one of her favorite coffee shops, to take a break from studying. Her friend texted her, she shared her location, and invited her to meet. Her friend walked into the coffee shop, and sat down with her.

Twenty minutes later, my daughter was home.

Their meetup was brief, because my daughter cut the visit short. She revealed her friend was on her phone the entire time,  and actually face-timing another friend. After several minutes of seeing that her friend had no plan of getting off her phone, she excused herself, and came home.

Maybe our standards are too high in today’s world?

Yesterday, my daughter received a text from a friend. He was hosting a Bible study, and asked her to come. I encouraged her to go, not only for herself, but to be there for him. She was apprehensive not knowing the other people she may see, but wanted to see her friend.

I believed she saw her answer to her question from earlier in the day. The best way to make friends, is to be a friend.

Before it Breaks

I enjoy fixing things, but have my limits.

I’ll begin with the shower from our previous home as an example. The spout didn’t function to the best of its ability.

This happened over time. When you turned the water on, it came out of the spout, and into the tub. The little knob you pull up, to send the water to the shower head had a problem. It has been used for years, and began to break under pressure. It was falling apart, and couldn’t completely stop the water from flowing out of the spout. The shower head couldn’t receive the full flow potential.

There was water spewing from the spout, and trickling from the shower head. It was like it couldn’t decide how much it wanted to give me, and from where. It wasn’t fun.

My landlord’s helper stopped by to complete an unfinished task, and I showed him the shower. He knew exactly what to do, and within the hour, had installed a new spout. Now the lever could stop all the trickling from the spout, and give a full force shower! The ginormous rain head, rained!

My landlord had no idea it was broken. He said, “You need to tell me these things before it breaks.”

spout

When we moved into our new home, I found it ironic this shower had the same issue. It was like a test to see how long it would take for me to say something was wrong.

I quickly snapped a pic, and sent it to my landlord, asking him to please fix this. He sent his handyman to replace the spout, but once complete, he felt bad because the finishes didn’t match. I told him, ‘It doesn’t have to look perfect. As long as it works, and offers up it’s very best, we’re good.”

 

These Three Gates

The privacy fence around the backyard has four gates.

One is at the end of the driveway. It has a vine growing along the fence, and up a small arbor, waiting to bloom.

I haven’t discovered yet, where the other three lead.

gate

Gate to driveway.

Whoever built the house, and fence, had a reason, but it’s a mystery to me. I have a neighbor on each side, and one behind me, and a gate opens into each of their backyards. This fence was probably built before social media replaced human interaction. I haven’t had a neighbor in 5 years!

I haven’t written much about the effects social media had on my life, but it wasn’t healthy. God started working on me last year, after ‘I Bled Out‘, and I found myself bucking the trend of social media. There are still no social media apps on my phone, and I rarely take my phone when I leave the house.

This from a woman who spent years promoting a Blog, and encouraging others via social media.

A couple of weeks ago, I disconnected this Blog from all social media outlets. It doesn’t automatically post, once published. It sits right here in the WordPress world.

dwell-as-near-as-possible

I want to dwell as near as possible to where life flows.

I will let you know what is on the other side of these three gates.

Waiting to Bloom

It’s odd, how you pack up your belongings, and move into a new space. It’s the same stuff you’ve had, but it finds new places to nest. This house doesn’t have a mudroom, so the dogs are fed in a breezeway. Three weeks later, they know which cabinet holds the food, and which drawer has treats.

In Bénisse Cette Maison, Laura Jinkins commented, “I am happy for you and your new adventure. I am especially happy that after such a short period of time, your new abode already feels like HOME.”Looking at her Blog this morning, she has made her house even more of a home.

Making small changes, prepare us for bigger ones.

Laura moved rooms around, and repainted them, giving her home a whole new look, and herself a new work-space. She will be inspired in her freshly painted, private space.

When your heart finds a home, your belongings follow.

Last year, my daughter had been looking at houses online for months, before finding this one. She knew it was going to be a challenge to find a home that would feed both our hearts. I enjoy quiet, and peaceful, and she longed to be near her friends, and all her favorite shops. We knew the area we desired, but where, oh where, was the house?

We drove out to the lake area, over an hour away from where we were living at the time, to look at a house on the market. It was an older home, and the best thing about it was the front door. We walked through, and went from room to room, trying out figure out how to make it work, but it wasn’t right. My daughter was getting discouraged.

If it doesn’t feel like home before you move, keep looking.

As we were driving away from that house, my daughter received an email notification of another house nearby. We stopped by, and what I saw outside, spoke to my heart.

arbor

Arbor with walk leading to the front door.

I stood inside this Arbor, looking at the vine, and pondered, “Would we bloom at the same time?” There is another vine growing along the fence at the end of the driveway.

The landlord assured me his landscape guy would come, and clean up the weeds clinging to everything. I said, “No. These are not weeds. They are flowers waiting to bloom.”

My daughter and I are freshly planted, and when the time is right, just like these vines, we will be ready to bloom.

Listening for quiet

Making a coffee pour over has a calming effect over me.

Once I go through all the steps of setting it up, I’m forced to slow down, and enjoy the process. Watching as the boiling hot water, slowly escapes from the spout of the pour over kettle. It hits the coarse grounds, and they begin to bloom. (My fave) Today, I poured the water very slowly, in attempt to keep the bloom alive for as long as possible.

pourover1

I try to be careful, not to run the cup over. When using ceramics, there is no way to tell how close the liquid is to the top. You can see the spillage on the counter top where I picked up the funnel for a peek, but today was different.

I listened intently during the process. When the water first hit the grounds, and the liquid drained into the empty cup, it was noisy. I could hear it trickling. As the cup filled with the hot liquid, the trickling became quieter, and quieter.

pourover2

I knew the cup was full when it was completely quiet.

Bénisse Cette Maison

Letting go of what is comfortable. Even though I knew there was more, where I stood felt okay, and it was easy. There wasn’t anything wrong, except my heart wanted more.

2017 was a year of following my heart, and believe me, my heart and mind were conflicted. What was logical thinking, didn’t feed my heart, and when my heart soared, my mind told me I was bonkers. It was time to set my heart free.

Richard Rohr says, “Houses are meant to move out of”.

I pondered that quote for what seemed like a long time, until it took root in my heart. My mind kept pointing out all the positive aspects of where we were living, but my heart wasn’t happy. The thought of moving was uncomfortable. We had lived in a country setting for a few years, and it was peaceful. No complaints, unless you asked my heart.

I mentioned that quote to a man in our community, and he was flabbergasted! He quickly opposed it, and said, “Oh No! Houses are meant to be lived in, and filled with family and friends!” I was living in my house, but it wasn’t filled with family and friends. They lived an hour away. For two years, my daughter had been driving an hour each way, every weekend to see her Dad. She was tired.

A couple of friends came to visit, and showed me what my heart was missing. Connection, and love in real-time.

This house had it’s season, and was meant to move out of.

I came across a picture of our porch, right after moving in.

before

6/2015

We had been in this house less than a year, when I found out I had Breast Cancer. My Breast Cancer journey was in 2016, so 2017 was a year of healing, growing, and discovering the woman Cancer left behind. I let go of a lot last year, which I will slowly write about, but there were some major heart-strings tied to this little country home.

This home was perfect for healing, and offered privacy.

Here is the last picture taken of that little house of healing.

after

11/29/2017

My daughter and I have moved away from country living.

We spent the month of December packing up everything except the Christmas tree. On January 2nd, we moved into our new house. It’s been a week now, and it feels like home.

blessthishome

Bless this home.

Sow Some Seeds (Part 7)

Here are the last of our seeds.

My hope is they are planted in your heart, and you will reap a harvest of goodness now, and in the coming year.

Here are today’s seeds:

I will pause whenever I am feeling sorry for myself today, and remember that this is the only day I have and must play it to the fullest. What my part may signify in the great whole, I may not recognize, but I am here to play it and now is the time.

I will remember that those who have fewest regrets are those who take each moment as it comes for all that it’s worth.

Live in the now. Play it to the fullest! Have no regrets.

This is my day!

These are my seeds.

Thank you, God, for this precious garden of time.

Wishing you a beautiful Christmas, and a New Year filled with God’s very best! Much love, Barb and Bay. xx

Parts of this Blog are taken from The Seeds of Success, by Og Mandino.

If you would like to be a part of my work, click here.

Sow Some Seeds (Part 6)

It was a choice. Spend his last $30 on a handgun in the pawnshop window, or walk into a library to get warm? Og walked away from the pawnshop, and entered a library in Concord, New Hampshire, where he found W. Clement Stone’s classic, ‘Success Through a Positive Mental Attitude’, a book that changed Og for the better.

His Mother held his dream. She told him throughout his childhood, “You will become a famous writer.” It took years of rough travel down his path before writing, “The Greatest Salesman in the World.” Og struggled being a salesman, but believed in success, and shared his story to inspire others. He is proof of what you receive is what you believe, and speak.

Here are today’s seeds:

I will keep a smile on my face and in my heart even when it hurts today. I know that the world is a looking-glass and gives back to me the reflection of my own soul. Now I understand the secret of correcting the attitude of others and that is to correct my own.

It usually begins with the one in the mirror.

I will turn away from any temptation today that might cause me to break my word or lose my self-respect. I am positive that the only thing I possess more valuable than my life is my honor.

Don’t say it, if you cannot do it.

I will work this day with all my strength, content in the knowledge that life does not consist of wallowing in the past or peering anxiously at the future. It is appalling to contemplate the great number of painful steps by which one arrives at a truth so old, so obvious, and so frequently expressed. Whatever it offers, little or much, my life is now.

It took trial and error, but Og began making good choices.

Here is an insightful article about Og Mandino’s early years.

Parts of this Blog are taken from The Seeds of Success, by Og Mandino.

If you would like to be a part of my work, click here.

Sow Some Seeds (Part 5)

Can you imagine if God handed us the book of our life?

We could see from start to finish what our lives would entail. What we would achieve, and when we would die? That would be awful! It would take the will to live out of life, and there would be no mystery to our path. God is big, and so are His plans Thankfully, He prepares us by giving a little each day.

Here are today’s seeds:

I will work convinced that nothing great was ever achieved without enthusiasm. To do anything today that is truly worth doing, I must not stand back shivering and thinking of the cold and danger, but jump in with gusto and scramble through as well as I can.

I will face the world with goals set for this day, but they will be attainable ones, not the vague, impossible variety declared by those who make a career of failure. I realize that you always try me a little first, to see what I would do with a lot.

I will never hide my talents. If I am silent, I am forgotten, if I do not advance, I will fall back. If I walk away from any challenge today, my self-esteem will be forever scarred, and if I cease to grow, even a little, I will become smaller. I reject the stationary position because it is always the beginning of the end.

When my daughter becomes discouraged about achieving a goal, I tell her, “If you want it badly enough, nothing can stop you.” It’s not easy, and if it was, everyone would do it. There is no failure. We learn in the midst of trying. If it looks hard, get excited! It’s the hard stuff that makes us better.

A challenge equals promotion, so give it a little wink, and walk right through it like the mighty warrior you were made to be.